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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

How Adoption Changed My Views--Part 1

I used to be ignorant. I don't know, maybe it was just naive. It's amazing how a person can have a certain world view, and suddenly be exposed to something that completely alters that.

It's like growing up. As a teenager, the world revolved around me. I mean, doesn't it revolve around every teenager? I didn't realize it at the time, but I was a bit narcissistic (sorry, mom). I thought I pretty much knew everything. But then, I got older. And, as the saying goes, I got wiser. It's weird. I mean, it seems that the older I get, it's like the Lord peels back layers in front of my eyes, and I suddenly see things differently. My tastes even change.

As a kid, I couldn't stand coffee. As a grown up, I revel in the smell of the stuff brewing, and fully enjoy the experience of drinking a cup now and then.
As a kid, I thought most healthy food was, well, disgusting. As a grown up, I find it exhilarating to find healthy alternatives to what I might already be eating.
As a kid, I would consistently ask my mom, "What's for dinner?" and would consistently get the answer, "Food." It would drive me nuts. I vowed I would never repeat those words to my children. As a grown up, I use that same response almost every day.
As a kid, I thought my world was the world. Then I {semi} grew up and went to Honduras on a 6-week mission trip. And my eyes were opened. I started to see glimpses of the real world. My problems and obstacles didn't seem quite so bad anymore.

The list goes on and on.

Before adoption, I knew I would never support medicating any of my children. Surely when a child misbehaves or is overly rambunctious, it is because the parent is failing in some way. Surely, right?

But now I am not so black and white. It's not a yes or no answer. It's not something that is the same for everyone across the board. Don't get me wrong--I have no intention of medicating any of our children at this time. But there are children in our little family who have opened my eyes to the possibility that maybe, just maybe I don't have all the answers. And I am open to doing whatever is best for our children. And I don't think anyone can fully understand that until they have experienced what we have. Of course, it doesn't only apply to adopted children. It can apply to anyone.

I know there is a stigma attached to medications. I know there are many, many people strongly opposed. And I was one of them. But I know there are many out there who know just what I mean when I say this: Until you have experienced a child who challenges the fibers of your very being in ways you never even thought possible, you really can't fully comprehend the choice.

So adoption has changed my views on medication. It's changed my views on much more.

More on that tomorrow!

3 comments:

obladi oblada said...

I hear ya! A lot of my views have been changed also. Im still one to avoid medicating if I can, IF being the operative word...I know that for some not medicating is just not an option.

Rachael said...

I was prejudiced against medication too. But, treating my daughter's ADHD with medication (in addition to all the other behavioral stuff we were doing) has been a GOD-SEND. It's like night and day. In fact, I almost feel bad for holding out as long as we did. Her life (and ours!) has improved dramatically without all of the behavior drama at school now. It was like we (and she) were trying 10 x harder than everyone else just to maintain a sense of normalcy and now the playing field is leveled. And, I NEVER thought I would feel this way!

cherrie said...

Adoption has totally opened my eyes and my heart when it comes to this subject too. As I mentioned in a previous comment, my 2 two year olds were born addicted. They have sensory processing issues due to the neurological damage that is caused by drug exposure. Their little bodies don't feel things in the same way everyone else's bodies do. Sounds are louder, lights are brighter, clothes are scratchier, when they get over stimulated, it's like their little bodies are radiating electricity. Once I tried to imagine what it must feel like to be in their bodies when they are giving me an, "Jesus give me strength" kind of day, I understood that there is an appropriate time and circumstance for medication. As for now, I'll keep chugging along, but I am not ruling it out in the future.

Cherrie (like the wine, not the fruit)

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