News Break: Blog is taking a back seat...

As if you hadn't already noticed, this blog is taking a back seat to other things in my life...

This summer has flown by, and Monday Superman goes back to work, and I go back to being a teacher to our kids.

I just re-read THIS post about things that hinder me. I wrote about how we felt conflicted spending money on our own kids when there are so many other children out there in need. After much praying and contemplative thought, we (Superman and I) came to the conclusion that right now, these kids are our ministry. We can't help every child in need, but we can help the ones the Lord gave us. We didn't have to adopt. We (as far as we know) could have just had biological kids and called it even. But we knew the Lord's will for our lives involved us bringing in kids who otherwise would live in unstable situations. That is our calling. Not everyone's. And so, that is where our life is right now. I don't feel guilty for not plugging into every ministry at church or not saying "yes" every time someone asks for help. My priority right now is to take care of these kids. In 11 short years, Mr. C will be leaving the nest. Which means we have 11 short years to make as much of an impact on his life as possible. And the same goes for our other four little ones. Time is short, and we only have one chance with them. So I plan on seizing this opportunity and making the most of their childhood.

Now, that doesn't mean I want to spoil them. Quite the contrary. But I do want to give them opportunities to find their passions. I want to help them discover the gifts the Lord has given them, and help them to find what it is they want to do with their lives. And part of that is something I am so excited about! You may remember a post awhile back (I can't seem to find it, though...) about how I longed for some land to raise some animals on, to olok out and see nothing but God's creation and just be a country girl. The Lord truly knows the desires of my heart, and it seems that it is in His will for us to raise our kids in the country. We're in escrow right now on a beautiful piece of property: 10 acres! The house is absolutely nothing to be excited about. As a matter of fact, we'll be losing 2 bedrooms and a bathroom...and the house is manufactured. But the land...oh, the land! I'm in love. This photo really doesn't do it justice. Just being out there, hearing the roosters crowing in the distance, watching the llamas grazing next door, seeing lizards scurrying everywhere...it feels like...home.


And so, my poor little blog is going to go by the wayside indefinitely until, well, frankly, until there's more time in the day. These next few weeks will be filled with packing, teaching, packing, teaching, and calling a gazillion different places to update our address. At some point I'll be back on here, but in the meantime, enjoy your kids, seize your "moment" with them, and don't stress about the little things!

See you on the flip side!

How We Make Plans...And the Lord Determines Our Steps

I can be selfish at times. I mean, all of us can be selfish...we're all capable. But I actually choose to be selfish on occasion. I know. I'm an awful person.

You see, I had plans. I had planned on a couple kids (a couple meaning two), a calm life being able to fully enjoy watching my kids grow, but not being harried at all. No, not me. I would never take on more than I could feasibly handle. Oh, yeah. And I planned on going on a cruise with Superman* for our 10th anniversary. I also planned on being able to carry a small purse when I had little children. I didn't plan on having to carry a big ol' old lady bag (no offense to those of you out there who have already gone through "the change"). I was going to still wear makeup and earrings and sometimes get my nails done and sit around and eat Bon Bons (ok, maybe not that last part).

*my husband

In all seriousness, though, I did have plans for my life. I never saw myself parenting FIVE (I wish there was some kind of flashing lights I could put on that word FIVE) kids. To be quite honest, when we found out that M and N's birth mom was pregnant, I told Superman no way. There was no freakin' way I was going to take on another kid.

M was 3 when we got him. He and N had been in 3 homes and had gone through more than any child should have to experience. He was pretty much non-verbal. He uttered sounds, but really didn't talk. He was a sweet boy, but I felt frustrated by his inability to communicate at times. N was one year old and needed a mom. She had never had anyone to bond with and so when she had me, she latched on like a, well, like a leech. She freaked out if Superman looked at her. She wouldn't let me put her down. She screamed if I left the room. If I took the kids to the park, she clung to me like I was going to disappear if she looked away. It was tough. So there was NO WAY I was going to take on a baby.

Well, thankfully I'm married to Superman. He insisted that it was our responsibility to take in G. We had room in our car, room in our home (we decided to add on a few bedrooms and a bathroom after we got M and N) and definitely had enough room in our hearts, so we had no excuse. Sigh. Sometimes it's hard being married to such a wise man. Really, it is.

So, once again, it was up to me. I knew that my heart said NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. I felt overwhelmed even thinking about getting a brand new baby while still tending to 4 other little ones. So I went back to my ol' prayer asking the Lord to change my heart. Only this time, I actually believed He would do it. And sure enough, He did.

When G came to us, I bonded with her quicker than I did with any of our other kids--even with Mr. C. I immediately felt intensely connected to her, as if I had birthed her myself. I have to praise God for his faithfulness and devotion to me. He truly is an amazing God who answers prayers and provides for our needs.

Don't get me wrong--it's hard at times. There have been tears, meltdowns, feelings of inadequacy and doubt. There have been heartfelt prayers asking for the Lord to sustain me when I felt like I just had nothing more to give. But, I'm still alive. I'm still kickin'.

And, here I am. I carry a big purse. My life is anything BUT calm. Our 10th anniversary came and went and we are definitely not going on a romantic cruise any time in our near future. I do have to commend myself that I usually do wear makeup, but the earrings are a hit-or-miss. But, it's all worth it. I can't imagine if I would have denied little G coming into our lives. She has graced us in ways beyond imagination and I know the Lord will do great things through her.

So, my friends. We all have plans, but the Lord truly does determine our steps.