Smooth Sailing

J-Man's adoption was nothing short of perfect. It was Monday, June 7, 2004. We had barely finished our home study, when we got a call saying our social worker came across a little 6-month old boy. We set up a "disclosure meeting" where we would meet with the baby's social worker to hear his story. It was up to us whether we wanted to pursue him or not. Usually people meet with the social worker, hear the often-gory details, and then set up a time to meet the child.

J-Man's worker told us that his foster family was going on vacation for 2 weeks so we wouldn't be able to meet him until they came back. I asked her where he would be staying when they were gone, and she said he would be going to respite care.

On the drive home, Superman and I discussed this sweet little boy. He had already been in 3 foster homes, and was going to temporarily go into a fourth until his foster family came back from vacation. It just seemed wrong to put him through that unnecessary movement. So, before we even arrived home, I called the worker back and asked if we could just bring him home. She said that had never been done before--we hadn't met him; heck, we hadn't even seen a picture of him. She said she would talk to her supervisor and let us know.

The next day, we got a call that on Friday we could pick him up. Amazing. And even more amazing was the fact that when we got the address of where to pick him up, it was less than a mile from our house!

So, Friday, June 11th 2004 we left home at 9:45 a.m. and came back at 10:15 with a new baby. A brother for Mr. C, a son for us...and it was quite surreal.

J-Man's hair looked as though it had been collecting some kind of sticky substance that did NOT want to leave its cozy home. We ended up cutting off most of it so we could get a fresh start. I tell you, 6 months was a great age. J-Man was already sleeping through the night, he was a mellow baby, and he was quite content being in our home. You would think after being bounced around so much he would be wary of people, but he was happy to be with us! Of course, things weren't as easy for me, but as you all know, things became better as time wore on.

His birth mom's parental rights were terminated a few weeks later with no hitches--she didn't appeal, so within 6 months we were ready to finalize. No objections by the court, or birth mom. It was probably the smoothest adoption I've ever seen. Now, M and N (and G) are a different story...which will be for another day. We have learned a lot about the appeal process from them.

In the meantime, I'm off to change a poopy diaper, arbitrate an argument between two little ones and clean out my big ol' purse. The day is still young!

The Beginning of Our Adoption Journey

June 11, 2004. We bring home J-Man, a little 6-month-old bundle of joy. We've taken all the classes, read the books...you name it. But nothing could truly prepare me for the roller coaster of emotions I felt during the following months. No one ever told me that it may take awhile to bond with this little one. I mean, it seems obvious now, but I must be dense or something. I was expecting to hold this little guy and immediately fall in love with him. But instead, I looked at him and as the months wore on, I thought of him more as a "nephew" than a "son."

My soul was in anguish. I felt like there must be something wrong with me. I would look at Mr. C: our dear biological son, and be filled with pride. My heart would skip a beat when I saw him accomplishing new things, learning about the world around him. But with J-Man, he was like a child I was babysitting. I wanted to protect him, take care of him, provide for his needs. But I didn't yearn for him when he was in my absence. I didn't look at him and think, "That's my son. He's perfect."

I prayed nightly that the Lord would change my heart. I felt my worst nightmare was coming true--I had brought this little boy into our lives, but I didn't love him like he needed. I desperately sought comfort and guidance from the Lord. I confessed to Superman (my husband) that I was struggling. He comforted me, told me to give it time, that it would be a process, not something to happen overnight, but I had to work at it.

Almost seven months went by. One morning, J-Man took his first step. Suddenly, my heart went pitter patter and I thought, "That's my son! He's perfect!" And I realized, surprisingly, that the Lord had answered my prayers. Yes, my friends. I doubted. Sure, I prayed those prayers, but I didn't really believe that they would be answered in the way I expected! Quietly, nonchalantly, He had taken my heart, and reformed it. I loved this child! I looked at him and filled with pride. I was joyful in his triumphs and saddened by his struggles. How this happened is a mystery to me. I only know that HE did it. I've never looked at Prayer the same.