Preparing dinner and giveaway results!

First off, sorry for not drawing a name on Friday. My bro and his family are out here visiting from Idaho and our days have been full of fun-ness and activity.

Friday we butchered our no-longer-laying hen. We were slaughtering virgins, but we are no more. It was quite the experience. I think the fact that she wasn't a meat chicken and was a year-and-a-half old made from some tough chicken. It was more like chicken jerky. And oh, the term "running around like a chicken with her head cut off" is really just barely an exaggeration. That girl was practically chasing me without her head on. It may not have been actual running, but it was definitely aggressively flopping. My bro was actually the one to cut her head off. Nothing like some good ol' family bonding! I'll be posting pics soon.

And now, the results of the giveaway (Superman helped me out):

Congratulations, Essie! Just send me your e-mail address and I'll send you your Amazon gift!

Life Flies By, So I'll Do A Giveaway!

Superman has already been on summer break for two weeks. Tell me, how did that happen? I think having kids makes time go faster. And I really mean that. There must be some sort of crazy quantum physics/time warp thing going on. Because I'm sure that the last two weeks have only been two days.

At any rate, since we just had a time warp, I've missed blogging for a few weeks.
Superman and I had an incredible trip to San Francisco to celebrate our upcoming 12th anniversary. It's amazing what a little over 24 hours away from children can do for the soul.

We saw "Wicked" and even though Superman was asking if we could leave early before we even sat down, he ended up really liking it!

We took a tour of 'Cisco on Segways. Seriously worth the $70/person. It was probably one of the most fun outings we've done together. I was a little worried that my uncoordinated self would fall off {ungracefully}, but I made it through without any incidents.

We walked Fisherman's Wharf and hung out at Union Square and just really enjoyed each others' company.

Mr. C was the proud owner of our family's first black eye. He got a good shiner after running full speed ahead into a metal gun that shoots balls out at a birthday party.


I mean, really, is that not the prettiest shade of purple you ever did see?


Mr. C was pretty proud of his eye for a few days, but he got a little tired of everyone asking what happened. Luckily, he had his seventh birthday to look forward to! Can't believe he's already 7...


We celebrated the first day of summer vacation by doing...what else? Eating!

We spent all last week at our church's Vacation Bible School. There were over 800 kids there, and Superman and I were in charge of handing out Otter Pops. I don't think I need to cut anymore wrappers any time soon...although I do have quite the system down. The kids had a blast.


And Father's Day was a success at our home. The boys made daddy a card that truly spoke to his heart:


...And I gave him a mandarin tree to plant since his last one was a casualty of a big wind storm a few months ago. I did, however, make sure he knew that I loved him by displaying my undying affection for him on myself:


I finished reading "In Defense of Food" and "Farm City." The latter of which, I must say, is now one of my favorites.

And so, that brings me to my giveaway! After being gone from my poor little blog for a few weeks, I noticed I've passed the "50 followers" mark! Amazon has become my new co-best friend (shared with my Kindle). I wanted to share a little of that love. To celebrate, I'm giving away a $20 gift card for Amazon.com!

Just leave me a comment and you're entered! I'll be drawing a name on Friday.

The Organic {summer} Life

This past week has been filled with a hint of summer. The weather has been pretty much anything but summer, yet our family life has been filled with the lazy, work-in-the-yard, fruit-and-ice-cream joys of the hot season.

We recently acquired one of the coolest free things I have ever received:

Our kids have since been constantly dreaming up wars, having secret meetings and even shooting BB guns (with daddy, of course) from the window of the fort, popping perfectly-placed water balloons.

We wrapped up school for the year, and celebrated with face painting, doughnuts, and a delicious cheese pizza from the Whole Foods cafe. The kids frolicked in the warm sun that happened to be peeking through the clouds that day and thoroughly enjoyed racing on scooters and helping me tend to our slowly-growing tomatoes.

M-Dog was stung by this icky-looking bee. We made sure to give it a proper burial...into the bottom of my shoe. I know, I know...don't alert PETA. The bee started it.

I've been on an organic kick lately. Although the more books I read, the less likely I feel that it's just a "kick." My Kindle has taken over my free time, beckoning me to read, read, read. I suppose it's not a bad thing, although Superman may start to get jealous if I continue on with this fervor for an inanimate object.

I've finished "Fast Food Nation," "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle," and just started "The Omnivore's Dilemma." I'm sure my fellow conservatives are clenching their nervous fists as I liberalize my mind. =)

All this reading about what I am putting into my body (and the bodies of the little munchkins running around our house) has really made me more aware. It's actually been an exciting challenge to eat as much locally-grown, organic food as possible. We joined a CSA for this month, picking up a weekly box of fruits and vegetables; grown so close, they're practically in our back yard. I'm embarrassed to admit that the past few weeks, I have cooked Kale, Pea Shoots, Chard, Arugula and a host of other produce I have never even eaten. But it's been nothing short of enlightening. This morning I picked up this week's box and was giddy as a dog waiting for its puppy chow while I opened it. You see, each week is a surprise. And this was what I saw when I carefully pulled each fresh, crisp item out:

So surprisingly delicious!

On the adoption front, we are thoroughly enjoying the joys of being a completed family. And the further we get away from the day we signed papers, the more I forget about the uncertainties of life before.

Four more days of work for Superman, and then he joins the rest of us at home for more than two months. Oh, summer, how I squirm for you!

Newton's Apple and our Adoption Network Kickoff

A few weeks ago, Mr. C asked me why the sky is blue. I gave him a brief explanation as best I could, but decided to look online for any great videos for kids that could explain it better than I.

I stumbled upon this great site: Newton's Apple

It's awesome! There are hundreds of short videos answering all sorts of science questions. It's become a regular part of our homeschooling day. The videos are usually around 5 minutes, so if I need to do something with one kid one-on-one, I'll ask the other kids what they want to learn more about, and let them watch. We use it at least 2-3 times a week. Check it out!

In other news, we kicked off the Adoption Network at our church last Saturday. We had a great turnout with over 100 people! I was so pleased with the way it went. We were lucky to have great volunteers who helped us pull it off, too. I'm so excited to see where this group heads!

So Superman and I are getting a few nights away next month! I've been fervently searching for something adventurous to do. We've narrowed it down to a few things: Moaning Caverns (thanks, Soni!) or a Balloon Ride over Napa Valley. Considering I am pretty much terrified of heights and think I'm being crushed if enclosed in a small space, I'm thinking that rappelling down into a dark abyss may not be the best choice for me...

Of course, being pulled into the air by a BALLOON that has fire holding it up probably isn't the most logical choice, either. But, Superman and I did go parasailing once and it was by far one of my favorite experiences. After I threw up, I was good to go. What do you think we should do?

Interrupting my regularly scheduled break...

...to talk about how wonderful it is to be done with the adoption process!

May 17th was a greatly anticipated day in our house. I mean, we didn't know until about a month ago what our finalization date would be, but we often dreamed about the day we would be finished with the process.

Monday morning I woke up and couldn't wait to get to the courthouse. We {amazingly} got out the door by 7:20 a.m. with 5 kids, all clean and hair brushed. They even had clothes AND shoes on. And, they had all eaten. Tell me that isn't impressive?

We got there at just the right time...got right through security and only had to wait a few minutes before we were called back to the judge's chambers. We had so much family there that we didn't go back to his office, but were out in the court room. It was wonderful. I can't even put into words the joy I felt when he announced he was terminating G's dependency on the court and signing her off as "our child." I cried a bit, but a lot less than I thought I was going to.

It was all over within about 15 minutes, and we all went and had hot cocoa afterwards. It was a perfect day for it--cool and overcast. We came home and just enjoyed our day. It still hasn't really sunk in yet...maybe after a month's worth of social worker's visits passes and no one shows up. Or maybe after G falls down and gets a bruise and I don't have to e-mail anyone to let them know. Or maybe when we want to go on vacation and I don't have to tell anyone where we're going and when we'll be back. Or maybe when I take her to the doctor and don't have to get a form filled out and sent back to the adoption agency. Ah, so many freedoms!

I'm just so thankful for our sweet girl and so happy to be done. Done. Done. Done. DONE!

Introducing...

Miss G! OUR daughter. =)

And all the kiddos together.

What an awesome day!

I'm in love, love, love...

I have a new friend. My friend and I have been spending blissful amounts of time together these past few days. It's been a sheer joy getting to know him? Her? It? I think it's all three wrapped in one.

I've been saving up for a luxury item for a few months. And I really mean that. This is no dire necessity...it is purely something I have just wanted and have no legitimate reason to buy other than that I think it may enrich my life in certain ways. Really, I do.

Alas, I was still a few months away from having enough money for this luxury item. So last week, I asked Superman if he already had plans for Mother's Day. He said, "Of course I have something planned! {Insert short pause}...Why? Did you have something in mind?" I think I sensed a bit of hopefulness in his voice...perhaps he knew I would be presenting him with an idea that would allow him to be "off the hook" and at the same time allow me to be happy and content with my Mother's Day.

I asked him if he'd like to sport me the rest of the money I needed for my new friend to come into my life. He willingly and enthusiastically agreed, and I proceeded to run to our computer to order my new friend...

Ah, the Kindle. A brilliant invention able to hold what seems like an endless supply of books.

We are still in the honeymoon phase.

My heart leaps at the thought of curling up and reading with this new dear friend of mine.

I am thoroughly enjoying this gift!

For all you moms, I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day and were able to be pampered a bit!

Stream of Consciousness...

First off, J-Man has graduated to the land of missing teeth. He lost his first one on Saturday after what seems like a year of it being loose. The tooth fairy was generous and left something she knew Josh would appreciate--a new CD. She made sure to let him know that the first lost tooth is special, and not to expect such an extravagant gift every time. I dunno...there's just something about that first tooth to me...ahem, I mean, the Tooth Fairy. Like it's a symbol of childish adulthood. Yeah, you read that right. Maybe I should coin that phrase, "childish adulthood."

Good thing she warned him that such awesome gifts aren't in his near future, since this morning, Mr. C "accidentally" kicked J-Man in the mouth (oh, did I say "accidentally"?) and knocked out his other hanging tooth.

Now, tooth #2 hangs safely in a Ziploc baggy on the cupboard...safe from little hands. Can anyone say, "25 cents?" What a let down for poor J-Man. I'm sure he'll survive.

Only 13 days until Miss G's finalization! I can't wait to share "real" pictures of her here. You won't be disappointed! She's a cutie, I tell you.

Planning for our Adoption Network Kickoff (check us out on Facebook here!) is going well so far. I've been learning a lot about the red tape involved in planning an event at a big church. If I would have known ahead of time, I probably would have picked a different venue; but I'm actually glad I've been able to see what goes into putting on such an event.

These past few weeks, I've finished reading "The Hole in Our Gospel" (highly recommended), and "Three Cups of Tea." I enjoyed the latter, but it was a bit long-winded for my taste. Right now I'm reading, "The Well-Trained Mind," and I can't say enough good things about this book So many moms (homeschooling and non-homeschooling) have recommended it to me, and I finally forced myself to get it. Soooo worth it.

I find myself reading tidbits of homeschooling books all day, and then at night settling in for some more. I fall asleep thinking "education," and dream about teaching our kids. It seems to have taken over my mind {temporarily}? Each kid has such a different way of learning, and figuring out how to meet each of his needs while not burning myself out has been, well, insightful. I am thoroughly enjoying teaching them, though. I truly feel like I am experiencing life with them, in a way I never felt when they were in school all day. It's exciting to see them progress, and knowing that I had some {small} part in that is wonderful.

13 days! 13 days! 13 days!

May 17th

Oh, what a glorious day it will be!

God willing, on May 17, 2010 at 8:30 a.m. we will be summoned into the judge's chambers and will finalize Miss G's adoption. Finally!

I keep looking at G and thinking how much her birth family is missing by not having her in their lives. She is a beautiful, sweet, and perfect member of our family. It pains me to think of having my children taken away, raised by some stranger. Of course, I know her history. I know what her birth parents have done, and they are in no way fit to be parents of these woven-by-God children. They have had many, many chances, and to leave these kids in their care would be nothing short of a disaster.

I am so looking forward to completing our family...no more answering to social workers or adoption agencies, just raising our kids like "normal" parents!

In other news, I am so excited about a new adventure Superman and I are undertaking. We are starting an adoption network at our church! I can't believe that there are over 10,000 people who attend any given weekend, and there is no network for families who have adopted. I can't wait to see how the Lord works in this group, and how it grows over time. I have so many plans and ideas of where I would like to head...patience, I suppose. =) For those of you who are part of adoption groups, do you have any tips or words of advice for me? Right now I'm reading " The Adoption Network," by Laura Christianson. It's an excellent resource given to me by a friend--one I never even knew existed!

Homeschooling is going awesome. We are planning on wrapping up our school year the last Friday in May. Can't believe it's coming up so quickly!

Insights

This week with no t.v. and VERY limited Internet has been insightful.

I've missed reading blogs and catching up on what people are doing on Facebook, though. Our laptop sits on a desk in our family room, so it's accessible and convenient. In order to ensure that I stay away from it, each morning (after I've checked e-mails and briefly checked in on my regular Web sites and such) I close the laptop and leave it that way until the girls are sleeping in the afternoon. I then pop it back open, quickly check e-mails, and do any Internet research that I need to get done, and close it back up until Superman gets home.

I've realized what a habit it was for me to just "pop on" the computer throughout the day. Because it is so convenient right here in the family room, I would check e-mails all day, check in on Facebook, and randomly search for answers on Google. Not having the computer readily available has forced me to engage with our kids when I would otherwise just let them continue on about their business. We did three jigsaw puzzles this week. And in doing that, I discovered that M-Dog is quite the little puzzle master! I never knew he was capable of doing actual jigsaw puzzles. Kind of sad.

Speaking of M-Dog, he turned 5 yesterday! I can't believe it's already been two years since he and N came to us. He has come so far in that time. His language has progressed leaps and bounds, even though he is still far from where he needs to be. As a matter of fact, his speech therapist just assessed him last week, and he is still ranking very very low compared to where he needs to be. On a scale of 1 to a 100 of where other 5-year-olds are verbally, he is at a 4. Yes, you read that right. But, that's ok. I know where he was, and I know where he will be. It's just a matter of time. Here he is on his new Hot Wheels bike:

The other morning, I sat on the couch, gazing through the steam of my coffee to the beautiful day outside. The sun glimmered through the trees and the freshly sprouted green leaves seemed to scream, "SPRING!" It made me thankful to have the t.v. gone, and the computer closed. My life has seemed so simple this week. And even though I miss reading people's blogs every day, I feel like a better mom.

Now I'm off to catch up on everyone's blogs...Monday is, afterall, blogging day!

What Hinders Me?

This weekend at church, our pastor gave an excellent message on "living with hope in times of crisis." I'm not in crisis mode right now. To be honest, I sometimes wonder why things have been so smooth for us...I keep waiting for that tragedy or major hiccup to occur. Pessimistic, I know. But I often feel guilty when I think about the incredible {funny} husband I have, the healthy children we have, the comfortable home and great yard we have, the quaint town we live in. I don't say that to brag, but to honestly question why we have been blessed this much.

We have often struggled with how to provide our kids with opportunities to help them be "well-rounded" (i.e., sports, music lessons, vacations, etc), while also ensuring they "suffer" enough to help them be empathetic, appreciative, contributing members of society. How do we justify giving our kids private tennis lessons for $120/month when that could feed and clothe four children in another country? How do we rationalize going to Chuck-E-Cheese and spending $30 when that could be food in a hungry child's belly?

I know there's a balance somewhere in there...giving our children opportunities and experiences while also showing them compassion for others. But the balance is what's hard to find.

Back to our pastor's sermon. He had a guest preach with him--a man who is on staff at our church who has been to more than 60 countries helping people. He was arrested while smuggling Bibles into China. He has put himself in harm's way on more than one occasion in attempts to spread the Good News. His words truly touched me. And near the end of the sermon, the pastor read a verse. Hebrews 12:1--"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses {in reference to Hebrews 11, which describes so many who lived out their faith in amazing ways}, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

I don't know how many times I have read that verse. Dozens and dozens at least. But for some reason, it had a whole new meaning this time. Let us throw off everything that hinders.

What hinders me? Oh, so many things...

The computer

The television

My own self-doubt

My yearning to be the "perfect wife" or "perfect parent" {and my failure therein}

Household duties

And so, so much more...

But what really stuck out for me, what I really felt like the Lord was whispering to me as I sat in my seat was this:

"Shanti, get rid of your television. Stop wasting your time on the computer. Engage with your children and seek what it is I long for you to do."

So, that's what I'm going to do. Kind of. I am canceling our cable. And we don't have one of those "government-issued" antennas, so for now, we won't have any t.v. And I'm only using the Internet when our kids are sleeping. I do plan on making exceptions, since I use the Internet as my phone book, map, and encyclopedia for homeschooling. But Facebook...you must wait. People.com...you must wait. And blogging...you must wait...until Mondays. Mondays are my new blogging days. I'll keep a running tab of thoughts that pop in my head throughout the week, and Monday will be my day to write them all down online.

I'm giving this a try for a month. I'm doing my best to "throw off everything that hinders" in an attempt to allow the Lord to speak to me. Maybe I won't hear anything. Maybe I'll be completely frustrated and feel cut off from the world. But I have to give it a try. I need to know that I truly am here and available for the Lord to work through me. If I use up all my down time zoning in front of the television or surfing the 'net, I will never hear the Lord speaking to me.

So, friends, I hope you understand. I hope you don't feel as though I am abandoning my post.

But I do pose this question to you: What hinders you? And can you let go of it?

Tomorrow we're one step closer...

...to being the official mommy and daddy to this adorable girl.

Tomorrow morning at 10 a.m., we will sign final papers for Miss G. Final. Final. Fi-nal. Gosh, I like the sound of that!

I can't even begin to say what it feels like.

Our First Year of Marriage...Bliss? I Think Not.

I realized as I started writing this post, that I already pretty much covered what I wanted to say in THIS post.

I was a different person back then. I know it's cliche, but it's true. It's amazing how much a person can change over time.

It's pretty embarrassing, really, to think about how I used to be. We all have our skeletons, of course, but if ya'll would have seen me, really truly seen me, the way I acted when we were first married, I would probably be too ashamed to face you.

Thank goodness for changed hearts.

I'm glad we didn't do a reality t.v. show when we were newlyweds. I would probably be living my days in some hole, withdrawn from society, humbled beyond words. Hmmm...maybe that isn't such a bad thing.

In other news, Easter week flew by, and was filled with fun family time and a lot of Wii (we just got Super Mario Brothers...man, that game is fun!).

I'll be posting pics soon!

Death Certificate

My dad died on June 20, 2000. In March of that same year, we had the break-in incident. It was an emotional few months, to say the least.

When he passed away, I was crushed. I felt partially responsible since I had been the one to put him on a plane a few months before, sending him to live with his sister near Los Angeles. The story of my dad is too long to write in a short blog post, but suffice it to say he was a mentally unstable schizophrenic. He and my mom divorced when I was a sophomore in high school, and as sad as it sounds, I rejoiced when we were freed from him.

But after high school, I started to realize that his abuse was more related to his mental instability than his desire to make our lives a living hell. And I started to feel compassion for him.

Shortly before I put him on that plane, he was picked up by County Mental Health for knocking on people's doors and saying he was Jesus. When he was discharged (after finally getting an official Schizophrenia diagnosis), I was newly married and emotionally immature. There was no way he could live with us. I was having enough issues adjusting to life as a married woman (which is another post soon to come). So, I sent him down to stay with his sister until further notice.

After a few months at his sister's, he left a note saying it was his "time to go," and he disappeared.

I would lay awake at night wondering where he was. Did he have food? Did he have shelter? What about a toothbrush (I must admit I inherited his propensity toward clean teeth)? Did he have his glasses? My heart hurt with thoughts of him wandering around Los Angeles, homeless.

And then, months later, the call. My dear aunt (who had taken in my father despite the incredible inconvenience) called to tell me my dad had died. He was waiting at a bus stop, with a black trash bag full of all his earthly belongings, and collapsed. We soon discovered he had a brain aneurysm that took his life quickly and painlessly.

After the initial shock and despair, I was actually relieved. Not for myself, but for him. He hated being on this earth. He hated pretty much everything about it. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, knowing he was no longer suffering.

I recently sent off for a copy of his death certificate. A few days ago, it came in the mail.

It felt bizarre to read.

Age: 58

Date of death: 06/20/2000

Time of death: 1125

Immediate cause: Probable ruptured cerebral artery aneurysm

Time interval between onset and death: Rapid

I don't know why, but it stirred up a lot of feelings. Fifty-eight. So young. My mom is almost 65...my in-laws are both 59. I can't imagine losing any of them so suddenly. Yet, it happens all the time. It made me remember that our lives are so fragile. My kids, my friends, my family...we are all here temporarily. We can be gone in an instant.

But, I am also comforted by the fact that this isn't it. There is hope in knowing there is so much more to come.

Easter Fun

So far Easter break has been splendid. The weather was pretty much picture perfect this weekend...unfortunately, we're in for a week full of rain, but that's all right.

We made some egg-shaped, chocolate-covered Rice Krispy Treats...

And this afternoon, we had an egg hunt. Each kid has his/her own egg color, so it makes it fair. No arguing over who has more eggs! And no fighting over who "saw it first."

We've trained our chickens well...they lay eggs filled with candy!

Looking forward to pulling out the Resurrection Eggs this week!

Such an extraordinary day coming up next Sunday. Can't wait to experience it with the kids. And looking forward to reading about all of your Easter traditions!

Faithfulness in the Storm

During cabin time at the women's retreat this weekend, we were asked to share a story of God's faithfulness. I shared the story below, since that day just happened to be the 9-year anniversary of what happened. I hadn't planned on printing it here since many of you already know about it, but a friend, a blog reader of mine, requested that I put it here since it truly is an incredible story of God's faithfulness:

Ever since I was little, the song "How Great Thou Art" has played in my head. It was like a CD set on "repeat." It was just one of those songs that always popped into my mind...waiting for the school bus, falling asleep at night, sitting on the toilet...

It was about nine o'clock on a cool March night. I was home with my black lab, Reagan, and Superman was gone working at Safeway. He would not be home until one o'clock a.m. I took out my contact lenses and put on my glasses (I was nearly blind without them), and gave my eyes a good rub. Ah. There's nothing like rubbing your eyes after wearing contacts all day. Yawning, I lifted the covers, snuggled into bed and took the Bible off my nightstand. By the time I was done reading, the sheets had warmed up and I let the soft coziness envelop me as I slid down into the covers. Reagan settled down on the floor next to me. I patted her head, told her she was a good girl, closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Not more than an hour later, Reagan started growling. Great, I thought. What now? I rolled over onto my back and looked toward the hallway where the kitchen light that I'd left on shone behind the figure of a man. Oh, Superman is home already, I thought. Reagan barked. Suddenly, I had a bad feeling. Reagan never barked at Superman. I reached over to get my glasses, but before I could reach them, the stranger grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the bed. I think I let out a yelp, but if I did, it wasn't much.

The man, who I still couldn't see clearly, started to drag me by my feet down the hallway toward the kitchen. My shirt rode up my back as I slid across the carpet. I kicked and yelled, while poor Reagan was so confused, all she could do was run around in circles and bark. I could see that the man had on a black mask, black gloves, a long-sleeved black shirt, black jeans and black boots. His eyes peered through his mask. What color were they? I squinted, but I just couldn't tell. He was so strong. My ankles stung from trying to twist them out of his grip.

We reached the kitchen. Without hesitation, the intruder straddled me on the floor and with his left hand grabbed a butcher knife from our knife holder. I immediately stopped making noise and trying to get away. Oh, Lord, I thought. He's going to kill me. I thought about Superman coming home to find me dead on the kitchen floor. My lower back was pushed into the linoleum, and I felt a pinch of pain from the awkward position. I frantically tried to think of anything I could do. Then I felt the first slice. It was on my left arm. I could hear the fabric of my shirt tearing. My mouth was so dry, my lips felt glued together. I was crying uncontrollably. Another cut. This time on my stomach. Then my leg. But wait. He wasn't cutting very deep. He's not going to kill me, I thought. Oh, God, he's going to rape me. I tried to prepare myself mentally to be violated in one of the worst ways possible. What would I do? How would I react? How would my husband react?

All of a sudden, a song came into my mind. Oh, thank you, Lord, I said to myself. I belted out loud, "Oh Lord, my God...when I in awesome wonder..." It stopped. The cutting stopped. The man sat on top of me, stunned, and dropped the knife. He ran out the laundry room door. As soon as he was out of sight, I ran next door. Reagan ran behind me. My neighbor, Rick, answered the door. "Shanti! Are you all right? What happened? What happened?" I must have looked like a tornado hit me. I was so hysterical, I could hardly vocalize what had happened: "A-A-A man---he-he-came--{Superman} isn't h-h-home..." Rick, a correctional officer, brought me inside where his wife, Preet, ran to my aid. "That f---king bastard!" Rick yelled. He got his gun and went to our house to look for the intruder.

Preet called 911. She told the operator that an intruder had been in my house. The operator asked to speak to me. I didn't want to speak to anyone. I just wanted to be in Superman's arms, safe in his arms and away from the situation. But, I spoke to her anyway. "Are you OK, ma'am? Did the intruder hurt you?"she asked. Did he hurt me? Well, my physical wounds were superficial. But emotionally, I didn't feel too swell. "No, I'm okay," I replied. "Ma'am, the police are on their way. You'll hear a helicopter in a few minutes. Do you need an ambulance?" "No," I replied. Wow. A helicopter. We lived in a new neighborhood, where there really wasn't much of anything except corn fields and a few new subdivisions. I figured the helicopter was coming to search the fields. I just wanted Superman. I hung up on the 911 operator and asked Preet to call him at work. I was still too shaken up to talk to him.

Within ten minutes, the police showed up. I still couldn't see. I asked if somebody could please get my glasses for me. I didn't want to go back into my house. The police started asking me questions: What did he look like? I didn't know. As I said, I'm practically blind without my glasses. I asked again if somebody could please get them for me. "They're on my nightstand," I said. "Is there anyone you know who might do this to you?" they asked, "Did he have a distinct smell? Did he say anything? Were there any tattoos that you could see? How do you think he got in?" Too many questions, I thought. Can't I just have a few minutes to gather myself? And why wouldn't anyone get my glasses?

Superman arrived. I felt so relieved. I had felt so alone, even though I was surrounded by a dozen people. He held me in his arms, just what I needed. Someone brought me my glasses.

"Ma'am? We're going to have to take some pictures now," one of the officers said. I felt like I was in a movie. There I was, my favorite pair of flannel pajama bottoms sliced up, my new shirt from a race I'd run in the week before destroyed, and my face stained with tears. The last thing I wanted was to have my picture taken. But I stood there, and stared blankly at the camera each time it flashed.

I felt like an idiot. I couldn't answer any of their questions. The only thing I knew was that the intruder was around six feet tall and had a muscular build. I had locked the front door, but had left the door from the garage into the laundry room unlocked. Stupid. He must have picked the lock into the garage and then just walked right in. Everyone felt so safe in our neighborhood. I shouldn't have been so naive. I should have found a way to hit him in the groin. There were a lot of "I should haves" running through my mind.

The police said they needed my clothes and were going to take the knife to check for fingerprints. One of them gave us his card and said to call him if I thought of anything. They left, and Superman and I headed back to our house. There was black fingerprint dust all around from the police checking for fingerprints.

Since Superman was home, I felt much better. But my house felt different. It didn't feel like the safe, comfortable home that I had always thought it was. It felt cold. I wondered why this had happened. I believe everything happens for a reason, so I was curious. What was the purpose of this? Maybe by my singing a traditional Christian hymn, the intruder would turn his life around. Not likely, but possible. Maybe he just thought I was nuts, so he took off. Maybe I just needed a kick in the pants. Maybe since Superman worked at a job where he was unhappy and just couldn't leave, he needed a valid reason to go. (And he did.) There are many reasons why this could have happened, and why I got out of it completely safe and relatively unharmed. All I know for sure is that the Lord proved His faithfulness that day. That song, that wonderful song, that had played in my mind over and over, had been there for a reason. After that day, the song disappeared. Don't get me wrong--I still love that hymn. As a matter of fact, I start crying every time I hear it. But, apparently, there's no longer a purpose for it.

I am so thankful to the Lord for protecting me that night. He was with me. He will never forsake me. And He IS with me 'till the end of the days!

Retreat

I looked up the definition of "retreat" online. One of Webster's definitions says: "A period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study, or instruction under a director."

Withdrawal.

That's just what it was. I withdrew from my life for a few days. It was peaceful, relaxing, and more than a little refreshing.

I always underestimate the power of a break from the norm. I do look forward to respite when it approaches, but I seem to always forget just how much I need those pauses in my bustling life.

I laid on a wooden dock in the warm sun over a lake. No children came to ask me questions, or tattle, or request food from my 24-hour restaurant. I didn't have to worry about breakfast, lunch or dinner (or snacks). Someone else worried about it for me.


I ate ice cream mixed with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. And it was divine.

I sat outside during a mandatory time of silence throughout the camp and wrote a letter to the Lord. Not one of the 300 women present spoke. Each person was nestled in her own little spot of tranquility while she paused to just sit. How often do we do that? I don't think I can remember the last time I sat. Quietly.


I admired God's beauty, and marveled at the quaint little place I was in.


I enjoyed all my meals with grown ups (and a sister-in-law I have never before had the privilege of spending an extended period of time with), without having to continually get up to serve other people.

And, most importantly, I learned a few things:

1. I want to learn a new skill each year.
2. I am going to attempt to find gratitude in even the most unappealing circumstances.
3. I'm not invincible. I need breaks!

The speaker was incredible. Real, vulnerable, insightful and funny. My cheeks hurt from laughing at the end of each session.

Ah, retreat.

It's back to real life today, but that's ok. I love my job. I'm thankful for the 24-hour restaurant I operate and for my roles as a mediator, dental hygienist, teacher and maid. It's where I'm at right now, and I'm going to enjoy it.

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, It's Off to Retreat I Go!

I'm off in 2 hours for a women's retreat up in the foothills! Can't wait, can't wait. Two whole days with no kids! I do love my kids, but boy, is it gonna be nice to have a break! See ya on the flip side!

Adventures in Leprechaun Land...

Last night we left the Leprechaun some green milk in hopes that he wouldn't cause too much mischief around our house. It seems to have worked. Well, except for the fact that the Leprechaun went Number One in our toilet and didn't flush!

We made some green pancakes this morning to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

After school, we discovered a note from the Leprechaun! Seems he felt badly for forgetting to flush his goods down the toilet...

Quick! We've gotta find the treasure!

We found the four-leaf clover!

And buried under the clover was...Chuck-E-Cheese tokens and tickets! I think the Leprechaun may have stolen those off my bookshelf since the ones I had are now missing...but don't tell the kids.

Checking out all their loot...