And the winner is...

According to randomizer.org.................................................

Amy V.! 


Just send me a message with your name, address and whether you want a Kindle edition or regular hard copy, and I'll send this awesome book your way!

One Thousand Gifts: A Challenge (The beginning of Thankful Tuesdays)

A friend of mine mentioned this book in her blog a few weeks ago (thanks, Karen B.!), and while perusing someone else's blog, I saw the book recommended again. I didn't really have any idea what it was about, but I respect both these women and was intrigued. 

I haven't finished the book yet, but have gained enough insight to make me ready to take the challenge: Find gratitude in everyday life, in everyday things. Gifts that I would normally blaze past, never noting. Noticing things as they come, not creating a forced list of "things to be thankful for." One thousand things, to be exact. This concept truly goes hand-in-hand with my post about "unconditional gratitude;" it just seems to want to flow naturally from me. Once again, the Lord is all about timing. Had I read this a few months ago, I may have taken the challenge as a "fun" exercise, but reading it now has made me really want to dwell on each piece of gratitude and savor its place in my life. 

I was going to wait until I finished the book to start the "challenge," but being March 1st, and how much I love starting new things on the first of any month, I think I'll start now. One thousand gifts. Can you think of 1,000 things to be grateful for? You can join me if you like. It'll take me months, I'm sure, and it's gonna be a journey. There will be days of discouragement when the last thing I would like to do is find gratitude in my circumstances. I'll be jotting down pieces of gratitude throughout the week in my "gratitude journal," and then recording them here every Tuesday for "Thankful Tuesdays." I know, "Thankful Thursday" would sound better, but Thursdays are busy for me, so Tuesday it is. 

As I sit here typing, the first few gifts surround me: 

1. My giggling children playing nicely

2. Warm fire crackling

3. Hot coffee steaming, filling the house with its tasteful aroma

4. Baby lambs drinking from their mommy

5. Worship music playing

6. Dryer running, something I take for granted. So thankful I don't have to hang clothes out to dry in  this cold weather!

7. Sun streaming and dancing off pink blossoms on trees 

8. Beginning of March, the signs of spring coming

Have a wonderful day! Hope you are able to pause and find gratitude in some of the less "obvious" gifts surrounding you today!

P.S. Don't forget about the giveaway on Friday! You can enter here. I forgot to mention, the winner can request either a Kindle edition or hard copy version!

Medicine to My Soul

I think J-Man may take after Superman and find solace and inspiration while in the shower. He often just stands there, not washing himself, while I wring my hands hoping the hot water doesn't run out. Last night, J-Man happened to be the first one in the shower, which meant there were four other little ones who would need hot water. After about five minutes, I went to check on him and noticed his back was the only thing wet. I reminded him to "hurry up" since everyone else still had to take showers. Five minutes later, I checked on him, and guess what? He still hadn't washed himself! I was a bit irritated, and said in a stern "mom voice," "J-Man! Hurry UP! There are FOUR OTHER PEOPLE who need to take showers!" and walked out of the bathroom. As soon as my foot got out the door, I realized I shouldn't have used that tone. I went back and forth in my mind on whether I needed to go back in and apologize. The "old" Shanti (before conscious parenting!) would have just left it at that. After all, I had already reminded him. I was justified in the way I spoke to him. But, the "new" Shanti thought, "How would I like it if somebody talked to me that way?" And I marched myself right back in there. I said, "J-Man, I'm sorry I used that tone with you. I should have asked you to hurry in a nicer way." To which he replied, "It's okay, mommy. It was my fault--I should have listened to you the first time!" And he was done with his shower in less than a minute. He came out, hugged me, and said, "Thank you for saying sorry." 

Medicine to my soul, I say. Medicine to my soul! 

Being honest with my kids, and letting them know I am working on myself has been such a blessing. I feel as though they are carrying the burden with me, and are much more likely to be on my team instead of feeling like they have to play defense. Had I not apologized, J-Man would have taken another 10 minutes to get out of the shower, we would have run out of hot water, I would have still been irritated, and he most likely would have had an "off" night. Instead, we had a moment of connection, which led to reading library books, snuggling on the couch, and baking chewy chocolate cookies together. I like Option B much better!

Giveaway!

I'm so excited to be doing a giveaway for this book! As I mentioned, it changed my parenting, and in turn, my life.

The Connected Child, co-authored by Karen Purvis, David Cross and Wendy Sunshine, is specifically written for adoptive parents, but has so many wonderful insights for biological parents as well. If you're a parent or know someone who is, you should read this book! You will learn many things about yourself and your children, biological and adopted.

Here's the rundown: 

*Leave a comment here saying what your favorite thing about being a parent is. You'll automatically be entered! 

*For an additional entry, share my blog on your Facebook, Twitter or other social networking site, and link back to here!

You won't be disappointed! 

The giveaway will take place on Friday, March 4th. 

Happy entries! 

How a Book Changed My Life

As I mentioned in my last post, I just read the book, "The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family." If you are an adoptive parent, read it! If you are just a "regular" parent who feels you could stand to improve, read it! I bought the book more out of curiosity than anything else. Last week, we featured a therapist specializing in adoption at a seminar we put on at our church. She said she should get a commission for referring clients to this book. I figured it wouldn't hurt to read what these authors had to say. 

I have the book on my Kindle, and as I am sitting here typing this, I am looking through the fifty notes I made while reading it. How do I pick the most important? I'm not going to summarize the book, because I can't do it justice. If you want to know more about it, you can check it out here. 

You're probably thinking, "C'mon! Get ON with it already!" Ok, so here it is. Here's what I found out about myself while reading this book (I thought this book was supposed to be about adopted kids??): 

I am an emotionally distant, avoidant parent.

Remember my post about "Conscious Parenting?" I'm getting better. The Lord has woven this intricate tapestry of my life, and He has had all these things come together to work amazingly well together: the retreat, my desire to change, planting this book in front of me...they're all connected. This book wouldn't have had near the same effect had I read it a year ago, or even a few months ago. But even with my improvement, there were things I didn't know about myself. Towards the end of the book there is a "parenting style" quiz for parents. There were two options for each question. One answer would be considered "avoidant" (A) and one would be considered "nurturing." (N) Here's one example: 

"When you're talking to your child across the table, you comfortably reach out and touch her cheek or stroke her hair, and gently look into her eyes."(N) OR "When you're talking to your child across the table, your interactions are reserved and it's uncomfortable for you to make warm eye contact or reach out and touch her." (A)

Can you guess what my answer was? I am so devastated to admit that my answers were all (A)'s except for two. 

I don't think people on the outside would ever consider me an avoidant, disconnected, detached parent. But I am. It does not come naturally to snuggle my kids, to gaze into their eyes, to give them a warm hug "just because." I don't naturally give them a hug in the morning when they get up or smother their little faces with kisses at night. It is not natural for me. I, as awful and horrible and shameful as it is, am an uncomfortable, distant parent. 

I can have fun with my kids. I love going places and having picnics and making memories and baking desserts. I love to go on hikes and watch them learn and listen to them have deep conversations in their bedroom at night. But I never realized I was perpetuating a cycle of arms distance between parent and child. The authors wrote, 

"...Avoidant parents sometimes have the mistaken assumption that they're teaching independence by keeping their distance." Yes! That was me. I never wanted to "coddle" my kids. I didn't want them to grow up to be "sissies" or "weak" or "needy." I wanted them to be strong, courageous, confident and independent. And I thought the way to do that was to stretch out my arms and {not embrace} them, but keep them away. If I got too close, they would be too connected. They would need me too much. They would see my weakness. 

Please don't think I did this on purpose. I have always longed to be that cuddly mommy. I've enviously watched other moms who easily nurture their children and want nothing more than to hold them close to their heart. It's just that I've failed. Seven years have gone by since Mr. C came into our lives. And 7 years I have failed. Not in everything, but in something. Something so important, the Lord finally stopped me in my tracks while retreating from my daily life just a few weeks ago. He planted that seed of conscious parenting in me. And it sprouted. Then, it grew. It blossomed more than I ever imagined it would. But, still, seven years...I cannot allow myself to be suffocated by the past. I can only keep my eyes on what lies ahead.

The Lord has once before taken a burden from me overnight. There are many things that I've struggled with over the years, continually praying for help in overcoming. But 12 years ago, when I asked the Lord to take my bitterness away, He did. Immediately. And just a few days ago, I sat at the feet of Him who loves me and desperately asked Him to take this from me. Take away this hole in my heart, this unconscionable plague in my soul. Take away my need to be distant and fill it with your love so deep, so wide, that it fills me to overflowing. Fill me in a way that can only be credited to you. And He did. I felt that burden lifted just as I did 12 years ago when I asked the Lord to take away the bitterness of my youth. 

You know what I did yesterday? I hugged my kids. I read them books before bed. I complimented them. I told them how much I loved them and what I love about them. And it was phenomenal. 

There are so many things this book gave me. It described M-Dog to a "T." It filled my heart with compassion for these children I often forget come from traumatic, awful, hurtful pasts. It reminded me. And its words changed my life. And because of that, it changed my kids' lives. The Lord spoke to me through this book. Maybe He'll speak to you, too. 

Grace and Mercy: Give a Little, Get a Lot!

This weekend in church I almost fell asleep. I'm normally a "in bed at 9:00" kind of gal, but the last few nights I had been up late (like 11 p.m. late!) reading a book called, "The Connected Child." Probably the best book I've read in years. It is written specifically for adoptive parents, but many of the described techniques can be applied to bio kids as well. I'll be talking more about this book in the next few weeks. I've gleaned some life-changing insights and can't wait to share them! But, I want to finish the book first. 

I digress. So, I was almost falling asleep in church and I hear the pastor say something (I'm a woman--I can do more than one thing at once!). He shared a definition of grace: "GETTING what you DON'T deserve," and mercy: "NOT getting what you DO deserve." Wow. Maybe some of you have heard this definition before, but I sure hadn't. It was like cold water got splashed in my face, and I woke up. I'm a little embarrassed to admit I don't know what the rest of the sermon was about, because I was focused so much on that little gold nugget. At first, I was just thinking how amazing it is that the Lord of the whole universe, the Creator, has mercy on me. I am not getting what I deserve, for He has forgiven me of my sins. The thought of Jesus dying on the cross for me (and you) was real in that moment. It wasn't just a far-off thought, or a gentle admiration for what He had done for me. It was real. 

And grace? I practically swooned right there in my seat. "Getting what you DON'T deserve." I don't deserve his forgiveness. I don't deserve to be in His presence eternally after I die. I am a sinner. I make mistakes every day, and then I apologize and make the same mistake again the next day. I don't deserve what I'm getting. 

And then it came to me. This is probably not an "ah-ha" moment to many of you, but for me it was. I am called to be "like Christ." I am called have grace and mercy on my kids; even on perfect strangers. That person who cut me off on the freeway and then proceeded to point their tallest finger at me? That's right. Don't give them what they DO deserve, and GIVE THEM what they DON'T deserve. The bitter person in the checkout line? Yup, you got it. Grace. Mercy. The kid who keeps making the same mistakes? Yes, ma'am (or sir...)! You know it! Why should I expect my kids to make a mistake once and never return to that blunder, when I seem to make the same mistakes over and over again? I shouldn't. I should give them just what the Lord has given me: Grace and mercy. Giving them what they don't deserve, and not giving them what the DO deserve.

Don't you just want do dance a little jig? It's not our job to judge our kids (or anyone else)! We just need to give them a little grace and mercy, and let the Lord do the rest. 

Unconditional Gratitude

Last week while in the car, I heard the DJ on Air One say something that really stuck in my brain. He was telling a story (which I'm ashamed to say I don't remember), and in the end, he said, "Now that's unconditional gratitude!" Hmmm. I wished I could rewind the radio so I could hear exactly what was his definition of "unconditional gratitude," but of course, that wasn't possible. So, I mulled it over in my mind. The kids were amazingly silent in their seats. It was like they sensed mommy must be thinking. Yay, kids! 

So, I turned the radio down a bit and really thought about unconditional gratitude. Of course, we all know what "unconditional love" is. I have it for my kids. Even when they leave the gate open so the sheep gets out, or leave the bathroom sink running all night, or lick the top of the tube of toothpaste. I think I have unconditional love for chocolate, too. But most of all, our incredible Lord has it for us. Even if we choose not to accept it. But unconditional gratitude? 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I've heard it dozens of times, and probably said it dozens of times to our kids. But I think adding the term "unconditional" made it really resonate with me. 

How many times have I been grateful for the good things the Lord has blessed me with, while wondering what I've done wrong when a challenge comes my way? How often have I wallowed in self-pity over something I should have been unconditionally grateful for? Often, probably. I love that term: Unconditional Gratitude. No matter what. "Not limited," is the definition. I am so often limited in my gratefulness. I have much to be thankful for, and find it easy to tell the Lord "thank you" for those blessings. But it's harder to say "thank you" when a child of mine is consistently making bad choices, even with constant reminders. Thankfulness doesn't come naturally when one of our kids has issues relating to his or her traumatic life before being placed in our home, but I feel no one else will truly understand. It's hard to be thankful when I see my kids' behaviors as reflections of me and allow my pride to dictate how good of a parent I think I am (or am not). It's completely selfish, I know. And I don't say that flippantly. I'll say it again: it's completely selfish. 

I should be grateful in every circumstance; unconditionally. I should be praising the Lord amidst trials, and even amongst the monotony of everyday life. I should approach gratefulness as I do love. I would never love my kids "on condition of..." And so I should never be thanking the Lord "on condition of...". So, thank you, God. Thank you for everything. Thank you for the trials, the pain, the anxiety, the obstacles. Thank you for it all! 

Conscious Parenting

This weekend I went to a Bev Bradley women's retreat. I had never heard of her until a few months ago, and when I did, there was a flood of positive praise. "She's so authentic." "She truly shares her heart." "You'll be amazed at how the Spirit speaks through her." So, needless to say, I went with high expectations. I wasn't disappointed. 

I'm not really a charismatic worshiper. I often see people around me during worship at church (and at retreats) with their hands raised, echoing sounds of agreement during prayers. I used to feel uncomfortable, coming from a traditional background, but I've come to realize that we each have different ways of worshiping our Creator. Some of us sit quietly and ponder our relationship with God, while others love to shout their praise from the rooftops (or in a church service). Or some may enjoy both. How boring it would be if we all worshiped the same way! 

Amidst moments of deep connection with the Lord this weekend, I discovered something about myself. I am rarely a conscious parent. I don't think I'm a bad parent, but I tend to "check out" a lot in order to get through my day. "What do you mean?", you may ask. Well, my "unconscious" parenting can manifest itself in a number of ways: 

*Saying "uh-huh" when I really have no clue what my child just said to me.

*Jumping the gun on discipline since I often don't want to sit and listen to a long explanation for behavior.

*Dismissing crying and getting irritated when the kids aren't molding into the little box I've created.

*Spouting off a response quickly when I should pause and ask the Lord to reveal to me what may be the best way to respond to a situation.

These are just a few, and the first three weren't even brought up at the retreat. The last one, though, was one of the most important nuggets of truth I learned over the weekend. 

I also learned that the Lord never shames us, and that if I am hearing those "guilty voices" in my head: "You're going to fail." "You're just like your dad." "Your kids are going to go astray," etc. (which, by the way, I hear all the time) I'm not hearing the voice of my Father in Heaven. That means I'm hearing the voice of my enemy; God's enemy: Satan himself. When I hear those things I need to flee from those lies and run to His truth. By the way, I really don't hear voices. I'm no Schizophrenic, I just don't know a better way of saying what I want to say.

It's a short summary of a truly life-changing realization: I can't parent successfully without continually asking the Lord for wisdom throughout the day. I am a broken person, and if I were to think I can raise whole children on my own, I would be sorely mistaken. And so, I am now a conscious parent. I'm still a work-in-progress, but a conscious work-in-progress, nonetheless. I'll still have the "uh-huh" response sometimes, I'm sure. I'll still be quick to judge my kids' behaviors at times. But I am now consciously attempting to be their mom instead of hurrying through my day, trying to get to bedtime.

How "Chi's" Doing...and Experiencing God

Well, you may be wondering how the Chi running is going. Or maybe you couldn't care less, but you were nice enough to click on my blog to see what was up with me. 

I finished reading the book, and I have to say, it has revolutionized my running, and subsequently my spiritual life. The combination of the techniques suggested in the book and my Vibram shoes have brought my running to a whole new level. Now, I know I talked before about my transformation into a "hippie." The Chi Running book was very focus-on-your-"center"-oriented. As I read through it, I consciously replaced all the "focus on self" references to "focus on God." In this past week of running, I think I have experienced God more than in the last 6 months combined. Maybe it's the beautiful weather. Maybe it's the quiet time I have when I run up and down our driveway seeing this view:

...while the girls nap and the boys entertain themselves on the property. Maybe it's merely the fact that I am consciously focusing on the amazing beauty around me as I run. When I run now, at least when I'm by myself, I just listen. I listen to the birds, the tall grass blowing in the wind, crickets, my feet hitting the gravel. No music, no arguing kids, no demands being placed on me. And I'm almost certain that I can actually hear God's presence around me. Is that possible? I don't think Mr. Chi Running necessarily intended for my relationship with God to be catapulted to a whole new level, but that has been the unintended side affect. 

I am amazed I've gone my whole life without truly experiencing God this way. I mean, I've been close with Him for some time now. He's been the "center" of my life for over a dozen years, but this? This is something new, and fresh, and thoroughly divine. I wish I had the gumption to shout it out on the rooftops, but I think this is the closest I'm going to get to that right now. 

I highly recommend it. Getting outside and experiencing God, that is. If you're not in the country, take a little drive. Find some deserted place, park your car, and just listen. Or, even better, take a run {or walk}to that special spot. He may not shout something out to you directly, but the sounds of His creation will surely stun you. 

My Weaknesses...According to My Kids

I try to be a good mom. I try to have fun with the kids, not take life too seriously, ya know...all that stuff. I often feel, though, that I'm just constantly disciplining. "You GUYS! STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER!" "Hey! Why is the bathroom floor wet?!" (That's pretty much a rhetorical question.) "Who broke (insert word)?!" As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I wondered what my kids think of me. I mean, I've never really asked them. 

So, all day today I was waiting for the right opportunity to talk to the boys. I had this whole conversation planned. Finally, it's almost bed time for the boys, and I'm ready to talk to them individually. I call J-Man into our room first. I say, "J-Man, I've been thinking about what I can do better as a mom, and I was wondering if you have any suggestions on what I could do to do a better job?" He thinks for a minute...and another minute. I say, "It's ok, my feelings won't be hurt." He looks at me and says, "Letting us stay up late?" 

Hmmm...not exactly what I was thinking. I asked him if he could think of anything else, and he said, "Yeah, you could do more math with us after Papa is done teaching us math." Ok, still not really what I was looking for, but I didn't want to dig something out that wasn't there. 

M-Dog was next. I posed the same question to him, and he said, "You could clean more." I kind of wanted to say, "Yeah? So could you!" But I didn't. I said, "All right. Is there anything you think I could clean better?" He told me I should mop more. Touche. Mopping isn't my strong suit. I thought having the kids walk around with wet rags on their feet was sufficient, but apparently it's something that a mom needs to do. 

Mr. C came in last. He spouted off a bunch of things, including, "No spankings...EVER!" "No room time!" "No more Chum Bucket!" (You can read about that HERE.) He finally ended by saying, "Um, let me think about it." 

So, I didn't come away with any deep, thoughtful corrections from my kids. I was kind of hoping they would have some things for me to work on, but I suppose I should enjoy it while it lasts. In a few more years, they'll be teenagers, and then I'm sure I'll be begging for some grace. 

To be quite honest, I really thought I would hear something like, "Don't tell us to stop doing things so much." "Be nicer." "Give me food whenever I want instead of 'closing the kitchen' after a certain time." "Don't be so strict." I guess it made me realize that they're not as critical of me as I am of me. I don't think they go to bed at night thinking, "Man, I wish my mom would just lighten up and quit nagging me." As least, not for now. So, I feel a bit encouraged. 

P.S. I have a dear friend who is in the retirement phase of his life. Help him out and hop on over to his blog. Find him interesting? Go ahead and click "follow!" Don't find him interesting? Click "follow" anyway! The poor man is in the 2nd half of his life. In all seriousness, though, his insights on the retirement years are truly inspiring, and provide me with a little peek into what life may have in store for me a few years from now...

Chicken Slaughter: Take Two

We had a psycho chicken. Actually, I think she was just sick, and may have been missing a part of her tiny little chicken brain that should have told her to eat. The poor thing would stand in the same spot all day, while all the other chickens were out gallivanting around the property digging up worms and bugs and laying eggs. Even Captain Underpants (the rooster) didn't want to mate with her. And that means something. He is a male, after all. 

The last time we slaughtered a chicken, we chopped the head off since we had no idea what we were doing, and it seemed the easiest, swiftest way to accomplish the task. 

I've done lots of research since then, read a number of books and watched instructional videos online, and it seems that although there are differing opinions, hanging the chicken upside-down in a killing cone and slicing the throat (I know it sounds horrible) is actually just as humane and supposedly makes for less-tough meat. 

So, I finally ordered my killing cone, and it came in the mail yesterday. It was time to put psycho-chicken out of her misery. We didn't really want to eat her since we didn't know if she had a disease, so we decided to use her as an anatomy lesson for the kids. Homeschooling at its best! 

Here is the slaughtering area. It actually worked out great. I don't know that the previous owner of this property intended for it to be used for this, but it was as if it was made just for me! 

Before we slaughtered her, we gathered all the kids around and talked to them about why we were doing what we were doing. We explained that this chicken was one of God's loved creation, and that she was suffering and most likely in pain. We shared that it is our responsibility as her caregivers to ensure that she is not suffering if she doesn't need to be. They had all seen the miserable life she'd been living, and agreed that she was not a happy chicken. We made sure they understood that we respected her, and thanked the Lord for creating such a wonderful creature. I told them we were going to dissect her to see if we could see what was going on in her little body, and to see what the organs of a chicken look like. So, with that, I went ahead and put her in the killing cone. 

Unfortunately, she was a small chicken, and so she kept sliding around in the cone. Her feet stuck out of the bottom instead of her head. Hmmm...don't think that's how it was supposed to be. Superman helped re-position her, and then he took over the video responsibilities so we could have the kids' first chicken slaughtering experience on video. I slit her throat (with my brand new pinning knife--incredibly sharp!), and it only took a swipe or two, and she was bleeding out. I thought she was gone, so I let go, but that was probably a mistake. She started flopping around, and flopped right out of the cone, all the way across the slaughtering area, and right into the trash can! I guess she knew where she was headed in the end. 

After a few minutes, I took her out, cut her head off, and dropped her into a pot of scalding water for about 30 seconds. Her feathers came right off, and all the kids helped pluck her. 

In the end, the kids all seemed intrigued and honestly interested in learning about the different parts of her body. They weren't scared or crying or scarred. It was a great learning experience for all of us, and a really good reminder of just what goes into preparing the meat we just pick up from the store, nicely packaged and covered in plastic. Maybe not the way everyone wants to spend their Saturday morning, though. If there was any doubt in my mind whether I have fully converted to being a Country Girl, that is now vanished. I felt completely in my element and although I didn't enjoy the actual killing of the chicken, I believe it was necessary and justified. 

P.S. My new cowgirl hat is probably what completed my conversion. 

Chi Running

So I really enjoy running. After a good run, I can come back feeling like I can conquer the world. And I'm only exaggerating a little. I really do feel like I'm invincible after running down the road, feeling the breeze on my face and seeing the beautiful scenery around me. As long as I feel good. Sometimes I finish a run, and my legs are tired, I'm mentally foggy and I just don't have that "euphoric" feeling. Other times, I'm pretty sure I'm Usain Bolt.

I've been on a journey to discover what makes my {running} clock tick. What makes me feel like I could run a marathon some days, and barely run to my front door other days? 

Since going Paleo, my energy level has increased dramatically. I notice my mental clarity, enthusiasm, parenting abilities {a.k.a. patience} and enjoyment of running have improved tenfold. I feel like I've gained back years of my life. But I'm not a runner. I mean, I'm 1/2 Indian, 1/2 white, and I don't think I have a runner's gene in my body. But I think I could be (a runner, that is). Mentally, I think my running has improved. Physically? Not sure yet. 

I've started to focus on my form when running, instead of just going, oblivious to the signals my body is sending me. My Vibram 5 Finger shoes have forced me to feel the way I run. And I've noticed that my form needs some improvement. 

Some running friends of mine recommended the book, "Chi Running," and I decided that since I'm already going down the "all natural" path, I would go ahead and take a looksy. I'm only a few chapters into it, so I have nothing to say pro or con about it yet, but I hope to soon. Tomorrow I'll be running with some friends, and I'll be applying a few techniques I've learned in the book. According to the author, it's all about focusing on your core during running, and allowing your limbs to follow suit. Who knows? Maybe I'll glide effortlessly across the pavement and end my run feeling like I want to keep going and going. I may even end up on your doorstep.

I'll let you know what I think in a few weeks. If you come to my house and see me doing some of this: 

...you'll know I'm liking it. 

A disclaimer

So I think my last post made some people think I'm falling off the conservative bandwagon and becoming a downright liberal. =) I feel like it's my duty to clarify: 

*I'm still a follower of Jesus, constantly striving to be closer to Him and living my life in a way that would make Him proud.

*I'm 100% pro-life, a firm believer in the unborn child's right to life. 

*I believe we, as Christians, are called to minister to the orphans and the widows and that we should be taking seriously that call.

*I'm fiscally conservative when it comes to taxes and don't really want the government taking more of our money.

*I still believe that less government is more better (I know, that's not the correct grammar, but I liked it more better that way)

*I think competition is a good thing, and that it inspires companies and people to perform better and provide better products to the public.

Ultimately, God has given us this earth to live on, and I think it is our responsibility to care for it. We don't need to be genetically modifying things so that we can make them how we want them. I think God made them perfectly already. Jeremiah 2:7 says, "I brought you into a fertile land to eat its fruit and rich produce. But you came and defiled my land and made my inheritance detestable." I want to make sure we are taking care of the bountiful creation He gave us, and not defiling it in any way.

So, yes, I have been hippie-ized a bit. But there are certain non-negotiables that are convictions in my heart. These are things I hope to teach our kids by example, things that I hope they will carry in their own hearts when they grow old. You can keep big government, but I'll take connecting with nature and rejoicing in His amazing glory!  

I'm turning into a Hippie.

A few years ago, I considered myself a staunch conservative. Big business? Yay for the American dream! Food allergies? What a crock! Holistic doctors? Pshaw! 

These last few years have truly shown me the meaning of "older and wiser." Of course, I'm by no means old...I hope that I'm merely a 1/3 of the way done with my life. Only the Lord knows, though. It's just that as each year goes by, I seem to gain insights I never expected. 

I have become a hardcore supporter of locally-grown, sustainable, organic foods. The closer the food is grown to my house, the better. Grass fed beef? Yes PLEASE. Superman's trials with food allergies and the incredible incompetence of the "conventional" medical system (in our experience) has pushed us toward alternative medicine. I do believe there is a place for conventional medicine, however, and I am more than happy to utilize our traditional doctors when we feel they are the best solution.

I used to think that people with food allergies were a bit...eccentric. Surely, it must be in their heads. How in the world could someone be so allergic to peanuts that it seemingly ruins their life? Why is it that when I was growing up, I didn't know anyone with food allergies, and now they seem rampant? By the way, I have my own theories about that, but it would take a whole other post...it involves genetic modification of foods and a host of other things (see?? I sound like a crazy person!)

I've eliminated any processed food from our diets. I got new running kicks that simulate running barefoot: 

Before I know it, I'll have hair growing out of my armpits and body odor and will sit on our front porch with a certain type of greenery rolled up in a Zig Zag smoking away. OK, I wouldn't actually smoke a joint. Those who know me know I had enough {unwanted} experience growing up with that stuff. 

In all seriousness, I feel like I've crossed some sort of "grown up" threshold. It's like, little by little, my eyes are opened to the possibility that I actually don't know everything, and my view on things is just that: my view. Why is it that we can't see that when we're younger? Why, as teenagers, do we know, without a doubt, that we truly know best? Obviously, the Lord intended things this way. Each experience we have, every person we encounter, every tragedy that hits our lives...they all expand our world view. 

I'm thankful that my world view has expanded. Even if I am becoming a hippie.

New Year's GOALS

Hey, look! I'm actually updating my blog just a day after my last post! 

I like to say "goals" rather than "resolutions" because it makes me feel more like I'm working toward something. For me, a "resolution" carries the stereotype of aiming for something I most likely won't reach. But a goal? That's something I can accomplish. I know, it's all in my head, but whatever. 

So I worked on my three main goals for the year last night, and the kids all (except Miss G) came up with some goals of their own. Here are mine: 

Spiritual: Memorize a verse a week with the kids (at least during the school year).

Physical: Complete another 1/2 marathon, but if my body doesn't hold up during training, complete a 10k in 55 minutes or less.

Social: Accomplish my "2 letters per month" goal from last year and pull off at least two successful adoption events at our church.

Mr. C's goals:

1. Find bugs around our property

2. Copy down a page of the Bible every day

J-Man:

1. See God's creation more

2. Pray every night

M-Dog:

1. Help mommy with the dishes more

2. Read my Bible more

N: 

1. Be good and not break things so that Nana and Papa give us toys for Christmas next year!*

*I thought this was so funny. Superman's parents decided to not give the kids toys this year because they often get SO much, and being that we have so many small kids, things are constantly being broken. We told the kids they are too rough on their toys and that they don't appreciate the stuff they already have, so they really didn't deserve any new toys. So in lieu of gifts, Papa is going to take each of the boys twice to the snow to their favorite snow-place, "Planet Kids." I thought it was a great idea. Apparently N missed getting toys! Hmmm...wonder what this year will bring?? 

New Foods, New Things, New Year!

So I just went back and looked at my blog post from last year at this time, and here are what my 2010 goals were: 

Spiritual: Family devotionals every week night. Superman usually does a "quiet time" with the kids every couple days, but I'd like to see that more consistent. Right now the kids are assigned days to pray at meals (Monday is Mr. C, Tuesday is J-Man, etc), so on their days they'll also pick what Bible story we are going to focus on in the evening.

Physical: Finish running a 5K in under 27 minutes, and finish a 10K in under 55 minutes.

Life in general: Start writing letters again. I mean, e-mail is great and all, but there's something exhilarating about getting an unexpected note in the mail. My goal is to send out 2 letters per month.

I'm happy to say that I actually {pretty much} met my goals! Although we didn't do devotions every night, we have done them pretty much every weekday morning during the school year.  I didn't run an actual 5K race in under 27 minutes, but I did do 5K on the treadmill in that time! And, I didn't quite meet the 2 letters per month quota, but I would say I averaged about one per month. Pretty good, I think. 

These past few months have been exciting around our house. Superman has been working his little tail off to get things done on the farm--cutting up downed trees and brush, clearing MUCH unwanted shrubbery, putting up fences and building a pig pen for our 2 new pigs, Tasty and Yummy: 

I have 30 chickens coming at the end of January (sooooo needed since we go through more than 75 eggs a week in our house!), and as part of my Christmas gift, Superman is going to get my coop up-and-running for all my little sweet chicks. We're hoping to get a few cows, pygmy goats and sheep in 2011.

We had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas, and really enjoyed the family time over the breaks. I have to say, it's pretty much the best having a teacher as a husband. He's home with us 1/2 the year! The kids don't yet realize just how blessed they are. 

So after my discouraged post awhile back about Superman's dietary restrictions, I was referred by a friend to the book "The Paleo Solution" by Robb Wolf. It talks all about the decline in health of our nation and promotes eating a "Pre-agrarian" diet (I really don't like using that word...I prefer "lifestyle" or something similar) of meats, fruits, nuts, seeds, and veggies. I decided since Superman already pretty much had to eat that way, I would attempt it and see how I felt. I had already cut out dairy for a month and was feeling quite a big improvement in my joint pain in the mornings, and figured I had nothing to lose. So, I completely re-vamped our eating habits, and I cannot believe what a huge change it has made in my life! It's been two months now, and my joint pain is virtually gone. I am much more even-keeled, rarely getting the dreaded "afternoon slump." I feel more energetic, clear-headed and just physically younger than I have in, well, frankly, as far back as I can remember. And on a side note for the ladies (if you're of the male sex, you may want to skip to the next paragraph...), my cycles are regular for the first time in at least 12 years! 

So, I have no desire to go back to my "old way" of eating. I decided to splurge on Christmas and went ahead and indulged in a few rolls and some pasta. Boy oh boy did I feel it the next morning! I woke up as stiff as I had been just a few months back. That in itself was encouragement enough for me to continue on. I rarely miss the old foods, as I've come across so many great blogs with yummy recipes. Our kids are all healthier, Superman is feeling great, and I feel better than I have since pre-adolescence. I highly recommend trying this if you have physical ailments you can't seem to shake! I truly don't feel it's a "diet," more of a way of life. I just don't have the desire to put my body through that physical stress if I don't need to. 

Well, this post is getting a bit long. I suppose I should break for now. I hope to update in the next few days with my goals for 2011...but don't hold your breath. I think I said I was going to try to update regularly on my last post, and that was over two months ago. Sorry!

Food Allergies and Discouragement

Some of you may remember my post awhile back about Superman's diagnosis of Celiac Disease. His life has improved dramatically since he cut gluten out of his diet...he's gained 20 pounds (which was very needed!) and feels so much better. But still not better. He continues to have issues that plague him. And it's discouraging. I know how discouraging it is to me, and I have to multiply that multiple times to get to the angst he feels. 

He recently went to a doctor, well, actually, a chiropractor who came highly recommended by a colleague. This colleague's son was plagued by many symptoms like Superman, and after exhausting all the conventional medical avenues, decided to try the "naturalistic" path. We have, I'm somewhat ashamed to admit, always turned our nose at the "natural" remedies found in unconventional medicine. Maybe because neither of us have really been exposed to it before...I don't know. At any rate, to make a long story short, this doctor says Superman is sensitive to corn, dairy and soy as well as incapable of processing wheat. Wow. If it's true, it'll explain why he just hasn't felt healed yet...but I must admit, I'm a bit skeptical.

With this news comes new responsibility for me...I'm the one who has to feed Superman; it's in my job description. And as much as I'd like to just say, "Well, you're on your own..." I have to find meals that the kids and I can enjoy that will also be edible for him.

To be quite honest, I feel overwhelmed. I have a hard enough time thinking of something to make for each meal when there are no diet restrictions. Coming up with new ides that don't have any of those ingredients is going to be, well, a challenge. I think I said before I like a good challenge every now and then. Well, I don't think I'm really on board with this one yet.

I feel bad complaining. I mean, it could be so so so much worse. And it's not. But still, this is my reality, and it is hard for me not to be a bit discouraged by it. This coupled with the fact that our kids have been pushing me to the edge of sanity this past week...I've completely fallen off the "no sugar" wagon and resorted to replacing almost all my meals with sugar. I'm not exaggerating, either. This past week, I have barely eaten anything of substance. I've eaten plenty of chocolate, cookies, tootsie rolls, and any other sweets I can get my hands on, though. I feel stressed.

I think my mood could be the dictionary definition of the word "slump." It irritates me that I feel that way. Here I am, living in my dream world on property...our kids are healthy...our roof didn't leak when it rained over the weekend...there's a fire crackling in the stove...I'm making a pumpkin pie from scratch (whoops! More sugar...). What in the world do I have to complain about? Sigh.

I suppose we're all allowed a few "off" days every now and then. I think I'm just ready to be back "on." 

Changing the Title of My Blog...

Seeing that my life has evolved into much more than solely adoption, I've decided to update the title of my blog.

Superman has been calling me "Country Wife" to remind me that I'm not responsible for all the manual labor that needs to be done on our property. Believe it or not, it's actually hard for me to stay inside and cook food or wash dishes when I know everyone else is outside lugging brush or working on a project.

So, I figured I would throw that term into my new title. I'm hoping I'll be able to update more often now that we're "settled" ("settled" is a relative term, right?) into our home. Hope you'll come along for the ride!

Time's Still Not Standing Still, But I Feel Compelled To Update...

I'm officially a country wife. I've tossed out a dead chicken, listened to {hundreds} of rats run wildly in our sub-floor (and then become used to the decaying smell of their flesh...), pick-axed a garden, hauled branches, and hiked through Yellow Star Thistle wearing my oh-so-wonderful Muck Boots. I've cut the head off a {small} snake, taken a cold shower (not by choice), started a fire in a wood stove all by myself, and learned to tune out the 5 a.m. rooster calls {yawn}.

I've watched llamas mate. And turkeys. And chickens. I've hurriedly ran to my car while it's dark, wondering what that sound was in the bushes. I've fulfilled a life-long dream of ringing a dinner bell and yelling, "Cooooooooommmmmmmmmme and gettttttttt ittttttttt!"

I've learned that dirt is not going to kill anyone; in fact, it just might make the day of a cranky toddler.



I've roasted marshmallows. On a Tuesday. Just because we can (and it feels like we're camping every time, no matter how many times we do it). I've gone on hikes on land we call our own and marveled at the beauty of God's creation just by looking out our front window. I've stood at the top of our driveway and thought, "How in the world did I get so lucky that the Lord blessed me with this amazing life?"

I've realized there will never be a shortage of projects. We will always have something to work on. And most importantly, I've re-learned that this life is so short, and we just never know when it can change drastically.

Yesterday, my father-in-law (who I have considered my own "dad" since Superman and I started dating) was in a freak accident. While helping Superman haul some branches with the tractor, one branch became stuck on a tree, and the tractor flipped over on top of him. I was inside the house when it happened, so Superman had to re-tell the story to me. Suffice it to say, he was sure his time on this earth with his dad was about to be over. It was nothing short of a miracle that saved my father-in-law from certain death. It's amazing he walked away with a broken rib and some bruises, and kept his life.

And it reminded me just how fragile we are. Had that spinning wheel gone one inch further, I would be helping to plan a funeral instead of worrying about my broken dryer or what I'm going to make for dinner.

And so, friends, that is a brief recap of what has been going on at our little farm. We've been here one month, and it has been an exhausting, thrilling, life-altering, amazing experience so far. I can't imagine what excitement the Lord has planned for our future...but I'll just hitch up my britches and jump right in!

News Break: Blog is taking a back seat...

As if you hadn't already noticed, this blog is taking a back seat to other things in my life...

This summer has flown by, and Monday Superman goes back to work, and I go back to being a teacher to our kids.

I just re-read THIS post about things that hinder me. I wrote about how we felt conflicted spending money on our own kids when there are so many other children out there in need. After much praying and contemplative thought, we (Superman and I) came to the conclusion that right now, these kids are our ministry. We can't help every child in need, but we can help the ones the Lord gave us. We didn't have to adopt. We (as far as we know) could have just had biological kids and called it even. But we knew the Lord's will for our lives involved us bringing in kids who otherwise would live in unstable situations. That is our calling. Not everyone's. And so, that is where our life is right now. I don't feel guilty for not plugging into every ministry at church or not saying "yes" every time someone asks for help. My priority right now is to take care of these kids. In 11 short years, Mr. C will be leaving the nest. Which means we have 11 short years to make as much of an impact on his life as possible. And the same goes for our other four little ones. Time is short, and we only have one chance with them. So I plan on seizing this opportunity and making the most of their childhood.

Now, that doesn't mean I want to spoil them. Quite the contrary. But I do want to give them opportunities to find their passions. I want to help them discover the gifts the Lord has given them, and help them to find what it is they want to do with their lives. And part of that is something I am so excited about! You may remember a post awhile back (I can't seem to find it, though...) about how I longed for some land to raise some animals on, to olok out and see nothing but God's creation and just be a country girl. The Lord truly knows the desires of my heart, and it seems that it is in His will for us to raise our kids in the country. We're in escrow right now on a beautiful piece of property: 10 acres! The house is absolutely nothing to be excited about. As a matter of fact, we'll be losing 2 bedrooms and a bathroom...and the house is manufactured. But the land...oh, the land! I'm in love. This photo really doesn't do it justice. Just being out there, hearing the roosters crowing in the distance, watching the llamas grazing next door, seeing lizards scurrying everywhere...it feels like...home.


And so, my poor little blog is going to go by the wayside indefinitely until, well, frankly, until there's more time in the day. These next few weeks will be filled with packing, teaching, packing, teaching, and calling a gazillion different places to update our address. At some point I'll be back on here, but in the meantime, enjoy your kids, seize your "moment" with them, and don't stress about the little things!

See you on the flip side!