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Sunday, January 16, 2011

My Weaknesses...According to My Kids

I try to be a good mom. I try to have fun with the kids, not take life too seriously, ya know...all that stuff. I often feel, though, that I'm just constantly disciplining. "You GUYS! STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER!" "Hey! Why is the bathroom floor wet?!" (That's pretty much a rhetorical question.) "Who broke (insert word)?!" As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I wondered what my kids think of me. I mean, I've never really asked them. 

So, all day today I was waiting for the right opportunity to talk to the boys. I had this whole conversation planned. Finally, it's almost bed time for the boys, and I'm ready to talk to them individually. I call J-Man into our room first. I say, "J-Man, I've been thinking about what I can do better as a mom, and I was wondering if you have any suggestions on what I could do to do a better job?" He thinks for a minute...and another minute. I say, "It's ok, my feelings won't be hurt." He looks at me and says, "Letting us stay up late?" 
Hmmm...not exactly what I was thinking. I asked him if he could think of anything else, and he said, "Yeah, you could do more math with us after Papa is done teaching us math." Ok, still not really what I was looking for, but I didn't want to dig something out that wasn't there. 

M-Dog was next. I posed the same question to him, and he said, "You could clean more." I kind of wanted to say, "Yeah? So could you!" But I didn't. I said, "All right. Is there anything you think I could clean better?" He told me I should mop more. Touche. Mopping isn't my strong suit. I thought having the kids walk around with wet rags on their feet was sufficient, but apparently it's something that a mom needs to do. 

Mr. C came in last. He spouted off a bunch of things, including, "No spankings...EVER!" "No room time!" "No more Chum Bucket!" (You can read about that HERE.) He finally ended by saying, "Um, let me think about it." 

So, I didn't come away with any deep, thoughtful corrections from my kids. I was kind of hoping they would have some things for me to work on, but I suppose I should enjoy it while it lasts. In a few more years, they'll be teenagers, and then I'm sure I'll be begging for some grace. 

To be quite honest, I really thought I would hear something like, "Don't tell us to stop doing things so much." "Be nicer." "Give me food whenever I want instead of 'closing the kitchen' after a certain time." "Don't be so strict." I guess it made me realize that they're not as critical of me as I am of me. I don't think they go to bed at night thinking, "Man, I wish my mom would just lighten up and quit nagging me." As least, not for now. So, I feel a bit encouraged. 

P.S. I have a dear friend who is in the retirement phase of his life. Help him out and hop on over to his blog. Find him interesting? Go ahead and click "follow!" Don't find him interesting? Click "follow" anyway! The poor man is in the 2nd half of his life. In all seriousness, though, his insights on the retirement years are truly inspiring, and provide me with a little peek into what life may have in store for me a few years from now...

4 comments:

Pedey @ Do You Smell That!!? said...

Love this quote:
"I guess it made me realize that they're not as critical of me as I am of me. I don't think they go to bed at night thinking, "Man, I wish my mom would just lighten up and quit nagging me." As least, not for now. So, I feel a bit encouraged."

Great insight & a wonderful reminder for all of us moms!

Pappy said...

If you make it to retirement age--and I'm not sure you will if you keep making yourself a target for those mistreated young'uns, swinging hatchets at chickens, and hanging around people who tip tractors over--you will find that your children still think they know more than you, but they won't be so obnoxious about it. Enjoy their pre-teen years while you can!

Britts said...

You are an amazing mom! I'm glad your kiddos recognize that (in their own way of course!) :)

Tina said...

Shanti!! I love this blog! Never underestimate the practicality of wet rags on children's feet posing as mopping ;). When I ask Andre the question you mention above, he always says,"play with me more."

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