Ok, so I have to explain that the Advent Angel isn't real. She is me. I am her. We are one and the same. Ok, now peel yourself off the floor (from the shock) and listen here...This year, I told the boys (since they both are in school) that the Advent Angel only comes to our house (which is true, since, after all, it is me) so that they wouldn't go blabbing about it at school and get made fun of.
Anyhoo, Mr. C came home yesterday and said his friends were insisting there is no such thing as the Advent Angel. He assured them that yes, she is REAL, but she only comes to our house. For some odd reason, the kids didn't believe him.
When he came home, he told me this, and I felt bad. I mean, it just seemed that there was a difference here between an innocent little tale and a flat-out lie.
So, I waited for Superman to get home and discussed it with him. We decided it would be best to tell Mr. C the truth.
We sat him down and here's what I said:
"Ok, so Mr. C (except I used his real name), we have to tell you something. It's important and you might not be happy with me, but I still have to tell you. It's also important that you don't tell your brothers and sisters since it's not their time to know yet. Do you think you can do that?"
Of course, he said yes, since he figured he was on the brink of some major secret that could only be compared with the likes of insanely important military secrets.
"Ok. When you and J-Man were 2, I came up with the idea of the Advent Angel. She's not real. It's me. I wanted to tell you so that your friends don't make fun of you for believing in something that's not real. I feel really bad, because it was like I lied to you, but that's not what I meant for it to be. It's been fun pretending the Advent Angel comes to our house, right? (he nods) So, I'd like to keep doing it for the other kids....so, what do you think? (he shrugs) Are you ok? (he nods) Are you mad at me? (he shakes his head) I'm so sorry, bud. I feel really bad. Are you sure you're ok?" And...enter a mommy who feels incredibly guilty and wonders if it will be this bad when I expose the truth about Santa. I couldn't fall asleep last night because I felt so bad about creating this big lie and wondering if I should just expose Santa now.
But, after talking to Superman, we decided to wait until Christmas is out of our minds (like maybe in June) and explain who Santa really is.
I did offer to let Mr. C help me with the notes I write and deciding where to hide goodies. He seems to be content with that. I know it's only a matter of time (days? hours?) until he lets the cat out of the bag, but that's ok. It'll probably be a relief when that happens.
Ok, so how do you all feel about Santa? Should I be honest with all of our kids when I tell Mr. C? Should I just give up that sweet tradition of the Advent Angel and move on to do it without her? Or should I keep that fun excitement as long as I can?
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5 comments:
Bummer...I love the idea of her. I am thinking about doing it next year, but I would start with her being pretend. We talk about gifts from Santa, but he was never a real person around here. My first 'born' and his RADness would have freaked out at the idea of a strange man coming into the house at night, walking around and touching stuff. But we explained that many children believed he was real and we did not want to ruin their pretend play so we would not discuss it at school, even if the other children brought it up.
Don't give up the tradition. It is so very sweet and seems to promote valuable family time together for you all. Let Mr. C keep being the one "in the know". My oldest was a great toothfairy for me 'cause I would always forget. LOL!
Oh, I don't plan on giving up the tradition altogether--I will still do the Advent part--I guess my question was whether I should just tell the truth to all the kids about how it is me, but still continue the fun? Or let it keep going for as long as it lasts?
Shanti, I asked this same Santa question on my Facebook status yesterday. Erin asked me point blank, "Mom, is Santa real, for real?" I was so torn b/c I didn't want to lie...and yet she's only 5 and I love Santa. So I asked her if she thought he was. She said "yes." So I said, "well, if you believe in him, then he's real." She seemed content. I figured I have another year to decide about telling her the truth. I mean...let them be kids and enjoy the magic as long as they can.
Same goes for the Advent Angel I think. But it's up to you. I know my parents kept up the Santa and Tooth Fairy thing for quite awhile. But for Advent we just celebrated it together and I knew they gave me treats sometimes...and sometimes we did things together as a family so it was different than Santa or the Tooth Fairy. All that said...good luck. It's agonizing, isn't it?! :-)
--Merri Coulter
Hi, I just came over from Mckmammas blog and Im sorry for butting in here, but at my house I told my oldest daughter that Santa was real for as long as she believed in him, and the minute she says she doesnt believe in him he will quit. She still writes a letter to Santa every year and shes 16. hahaha ;)
Hi Shanti,
We've set it up this way in our family. The only time it's okay to fib..is when you are preparing a good surprise. ie. party, etc. I've continued to say that to my kids through the years...with the idea of having to share the Santa bit with them someday.
At age 10 our daughter asked us about the Easter Bunny. (This just months after gals from her Girl Scout Troop kept telling her Santa wasn't real. And she had shared with them the letter he wrote to her...proving his reality.) That's when I kept it real with her and said, "Remember when we said it was okay to fib if you are preparing a good surprise?" It kinda stunk to tell her the "truth"...but it was time. Her response was something like, "You mean you and dad buy us all that stuff??!!! And does that mean the toothfairy and Santa Claus aren't real either?!"
I say...keep Santa going as long as you can! In this day and age I feel blessed that we were able to keep the Easter Bunny and Santa bit going for 10 years. Every year was precious. And now this year...our daughter is in on it. She knows...but her brothers don't. : )
-Melissa
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