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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

"Waiting Children"

Can you believe there are over 80,000 kids in foster care just in California? Did you know 46% of them will experience 3 or more foster placements? Did you know the average time a child waits in foster care to be adopted is 44 months?

I don't know what it is about these waiting children that makes me want to scoop them up and bring them home. Almost 42% of these "waiting kids" are between the ages of 13-21. Can you imagine? Can you imagine being a teenager without a place to call home? Can you imagine going through the hormonal changes of adolescence without having your mom or dad there to guide you through it? Can you imagine every birthday and Christmas just wishing that someone would pick you to be their child? Can you imagine being rejected time after time after time? Can you imagine...growing up, being sent out on your own, with nowhere to go??

I tell you, these older kids weigh heavy on my heart.

When we were first thinking of adopting, Superman and I agreed we were willing to take a child up to the age of 5. We hadn't been parents before, and didn't feel as though we would know what to do with a child older than that. But then we got pregnant. That pretty much changed everything. We had this little boy to consider. What would happen if we messed up that birth order that the adoption agency talked about so much? What would happen if we brought an "older" child into our home, and they acted out against our sweet little boy? So, we made the decision to keep him as our eldest.

I'm happy with that decision, especially now seeing what a "typical" first child he is...Type-A personality, perfectionist, bossy. But I still think about those older kids.

There are times when Superman comes home from teaching eighth graders with stories of hurting kids. I just want him to take them out of their messed up home lives and transplant them into our home. I wish it was as easy as that.

I still wonder if when our kids are teenagers, or even out of the house, I will want to bring in some teenage foster kids who desperately need a home. But, let's keep that between you and I for now. I don't think I've ever mentioned that to Superman yet. And even though I'm sure he'd be receptive, I don't want to scare him away. I mean, we do have five kids already...that's probably enough for now. Anyone want to take in a few teenagers so I can live vicariously?


Lisa said...

I still look at and it breaks my heart. Especially the kids that are STILL there from when I first signed up 5 years ago.

Melanie said...

Hi Shanti,
Thank you so much for your comment on my blog! I love to get comments and you really encouraged me. So far we have not started anything official with Feng-feng. We need lots of prayer. Right now our road block is support from our SW and finances. Our SW is concerened about adding another child to our already large family. We are waiting for the OK from our Agency and SW. I am just praying that if this is God's will to keep the 3 girls together( they are from the same orphanage) that He will move the mountains. we are also adopting our grandson and I am not sure how long that process will take. Please keep us in your prayers:)


Shanti said...

Hi, Melanie. If it's any encouragement, when we were looking to adopt again, we got turned down by one social worker who said she wouldn't place two kids with us since we would have 4 kids under the age of 4. But, 6 months later, we had 4 kids! And then 5! =) Obviously the Lord conquers all, even social workers!
I know what you mean about comments--it can get a bit discouraging when you don't get any!

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