Country Wife {and Mom}

A Sugarless Birthday Bash?! Say it ain't so!

2011-10-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

So, my sweet, tender, quiet Miss G decided being 2 wasn't all that exciting, and she wanted to turn 3. Well, she doesn't technically turn 3 until Friday, but we celebrated this weekend with family. It was an absolutely beautiful day. I love it when the Lord blesses us with perfect weather. Last year, for Miss G's party, it rained like nothing else, and we were all stuck inside. And as fun as making S'mores in the wood stove was, it didn't allow the kids to get all their ~~craziness~~ energy out.

I was trying to fall asleep a few weeks ago thinking of what type of games to do for her party, when the idea of "Shoot the Tail on the Donkey" came to mind. That was quickly settled. Shooting a BB gun at a birthday party? Heck yes!

It was a blast. Everyone participated, from my 98-year-old grandpa down to 3-year-old Miss G.

J-Man ended up taking the prize on that contest.

Each of the kids made their own boat to race down the "Lazy River" (a.k.a. the irrigation canal that runs through our property):

And even though we did stray some from our no-grain, no-dairy, no-sugar lifestyle, we didn't throw it all out the window:

Better-for-you-than-some-other-things Popcorn Balls (from Everyday Paleo)

No-grain carrot cake with delicious cream cheese frosting (from Primal Palate).

It was a wonderful, fun day. And these were two of my favorite parts:

Seeing my grandpa enjoying himself!

And this adorable face!!!

Happy birthday, sweet girl.

Shanti's Top Ten Reasons to Adopt

2011-10-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

I was thinking this morning that Superman and I have truly been blessed by our children. I can't imagine if we had skirted God's call and avoided adoption in the first place. I mean, it would have been easy. We could have skipped the paperwork, home visits, birth parent visits, court dates, endless paperwork (oh, did I already mention that?) and general pain-in-the-rear-ness that comes with adopting. But it wasn't even a question for us. We knew that was what we were supposed to do; so we did it. Even though I had intense hesitation about adding a fifth child to our brood, the Lord softened my heart and allowed me to experience the joy of having such a beautiful, wonderful girl in our lives. But you know what? That softened heart didn't just happen. I told the Lord that He would have to change my heart because I sure as heck didn't think I was ready to be a mom of five. And I left it at that. I figured if He wanted me to take another kid in, He was going to have to make a miracle happen. And miracle-maker is His middle name. Well, maybe not, but you get the point.

Can you imagine this picture with one of these kids missing? Me neither. Oh, and that bronzed tall man isn't too shabby, either.

So, here are my top 10 reasons to adopt:

10. Stretch marks? No worries! You get to skip that part!

9. Morning sickness, being uncomfortable and having to use a body pillow to sleep is for the birds!

8. Seeing a living example of how we are "adopted" into God's family is priceless.

7. Knowing you are making an actual, real difference in the life of a child is one of the most amazing feelings.

6. Realizing you can love someone who isn't "from you" just as much as your birth children.

5. There's always more room in your heart to love than you think.

4. Passing on your traditions and beliefs to children who may otherwise have never experienced a Christmas

morning or Thanksgiving or birthday celebration is incredibly rewarding.

3. Knowing you are changing the world...even if it's just a small part of it.

2. You will be stretched and pushed beyond your comfort zone and forced to grow, even if you don't think

you want to.

1. Joshua, Michael, Naomi, Grace and {insert name here}.

There are thousands and thousands of kids around the U.S. and the world waiting for a family to love them. Are you being called?

Pumpkins, Pumpkins, Pumpkins!

2011-10-07T17:49:00.000-07:00

I mentioned how much I love fall, right?!

My New Favorite App

2011-10-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

So, I try to plan my meals each week. Sometimes that doesn't happen, and it gets to be 3:00 and I think, "Shoot! What am I going to make for dinner?" Because of our no-grain, no-dairy, no-sugar diet, everything has to be prepared from {pretty much} scratch. There's no quick box of crackers for a snack or whipping up a pot of pasta. There's always a lot of dicing, cutting, slicing, cooking involved in every meal. And so, if I haven't planned, I can get a little stressed trying to figure out what I can put together quickly.

Enter my wonderful, helpful iPhone. Now, I'm not a techie. But there are times when I love having an iPhone. I always keep my grocery list on there so it's on hand. My calendar is on there so I can access my plans when needed. I can quickly map directions or Google something or catch up on last week's message if I missed church. And the other day I thought, "It sure would be nice if I could find an App where I could have my meals planned for the week, linked to my grocery list so it automatically adds the needed items to my list." And guess what? Someone else was as brilliant as I am (ha!) and already created it for me! After searching through a couple different ones, I settled on this one, called the "MealBoard" App. It's so perfectly amazing, and exactly what I was looking for.

I enter the name of my recipe, and can add all the ingredients (or not) and pick which ones I actually need on my grocery list. I am still playing around with it, but right now my meals are planned for the next week, and my grocery list is done and ready to be checked off. Have I mentioned before that I love to check things off? It makes me feel accomplished.

Here's a link if you want to check it out yourself!

My New Favorite Friend

Fall Traditions

2011-10-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

I love fall. The morning crispness, changing leaves, the soft warm sun or grey-covered sky. The smell of dampness in the air. Cinnamon, baking, scented candles. Cute boots and soft scarves. The anticipation of trick-or-treating and the warmth of Thanksgiving and Christmas just around the bend. Days and nights smothered in traditions, loaded with children's laughter and giggles and wide-eyed wonderment.

It's a season before the cold of winter, before the leaves fall and dampness turns into wetness. It makes me want to snuggle up, read a book, watch a movie, play a game. Last night we played hide-and-seek in the dark while the clouds covered the early-evening sun for us. As I write, chili bubbles in the crock pot and warm brownies sit on the stove, cooling and waiting for little mouths to gobble them down.

For us, fall means a visit to the pumpkin patch, fresh apples from Apple Hill, watching the turkeys return to our property, shorter days, baking treats, Miss G's birthday (she's turning 3!!), carving pumpkins, roasting pumpkin seeds (see my amazingly delicious, accidentally-discovered recipe below), and just more of a relaxed, slow pace.

So last week, I made a pumpkin pie from scratch. I put all the gunk from the pumpkin into a bowl of water and added a bunch of salt. I figured I would get to separating the gunk from the seeds later that evening. Well, that night, the bowl full of orange gooey-ness stared back at me, and I didn't want to touch it. So, there it sat...for two days. Finally, a brilliant idea came to mind: what else would a 7-year-old boy like to do, but put his hands in a sticky mess and separate seeds from stringy pumpkin? So J-Man and M-Dog did the dirty work for me. After they got them all nice and clean for me, I made the best batch of pumpkin seeds I've ever had:

Shanti's Accidentally-Delicious Pumpkin Seeds

Seeds from 1 pumpkin

1/4 cup salt

Few tablespoons olive oil

Garlic salt to taste

Dig gunk out of pumpkin. Place into bowl of cold water and stir in 1/4 cup salt. Let sit for 2 days.

After 2 days, have a child separate out the seeds and get rid of the gunk. Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.

Rinse seeds in colander and toss in bowl with olive oil and garlic salt. Lay out on parchment paper-covered cookie sheet and roast in oven for 15-20 minutes. Take out and enjoy! They WILL go fast!

So, what are some of your favorite fall traditions?

Life As We Know It

2011-09-19T13:41:00.000-07:00

Got an e-mail today from my mom letting us know my grandma is not doing well and was being taken to the hospital. Now, my grandma is 93 years old, but has not been living for years. She has moments of muddled clarity when she smiles and remembers who I am. When other people's grandparents have passed away, I have often felt empathy for the surviving family, but would think, "well, he was 90 years old"...or "85 years old"...or "95 years old," and my empathy was limited. It sounds cold, but I figured at least they were able to live a long life. I guess it's because I had never lost anyone "older" who was close to me. My ignorance fed my lack of understanding. Until now. Of course, my grandma hasn't passed away yet, but it is the inevitable fate of each of us to move on from this life at some point. I know that her time is not far in the future, I just don't know the exact hour or day.

And my heart is filled with mourning. I suppose it's not the sadness of missing the relationship, but of the memories that are tied to her. The realization that it does, indeed, all come to an end, and that her passing is just the beginning of a long chain of events that happens in everyone's lives. Grandparents dying, parents dying, friends dying, loved ones dying. It is the realization that the chapter of my life that contained her will be closed, nothing but memories of the past.

It's sad. And my heart aches for my dear grandpa, 98 years old and still sharp as a tack. A kind, gentle man who has been nothing but supportive and loving to me and my siblings our whole lives. As he faces the imminent death of his dear wife of more than 70 years, I can't imagine the sorrow he feels.

But amid the sadness, I sense the hope that lies within me. The hope of a new tomorrow, the hope of what is to come after our short life here on earth. My saddened heart leaps for joy at the thought of being in the presence of my Heavenly Father one day, surrounded by perfection and basking in the worship of our Savior. I am not afraid of dying. I know that my life here is but a passing breath and that before I know it, I will be in that Heavenly place, singing joyfully with my grandma and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who have passed before me.

And so, that is how I feel today. Mournful, joyful, thoughtful...thankful. Thankful for the life I've had and the life I'll have. Thankful that I have been blessed with grandparents who have always cared about my well-being and have invested in my life. Thankful that my children have grandparents who adore them and would do anything for them. Thankful that I have the hope of eternal life and hopeful that my children will each make a personal decision to have a relationship with the Savior so that they, too, will one day join me in Heaven, where we will sing, "Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God!"

I'm Not in Hiding Gorging on Sweets...

2011-05-31T13:36:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a month since my full confession. I haven't been hiding. Somehow, these past few weeks went by without me noticing. Or, I guess I noticed, but I couldn't believe that it was really almost June, and therefore it couldn't be. I've been off sugar for about a month. It hasn't been that bad. Yeah, I ~~want~~ need some chocolate. I pass by the local ice cream joint and my mouth salivates. I see commercials for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and I want to jump through the screen and live in that chocolatey, peanut-buttery world for a bit. But, it hasn't been that bad. I guess it depends on your definition of bad.

I've been doing lots of baking. Peanut butter cookies, gingerbread cookies, shortbread, pineapple upside-down cake...all made with almond flour and honey as a sweetener. I'd like to say I haven't eaten any of the stuff I've baked, but I'd be lying. And since I'm in "full honesty" mode, I wouldn't want to do that, now would I? I don't know if it's physically possible for me to bake something I know is yummy and not eat some. I suppose I could make things taste nasty, and then sit and laugh as I forced my kids to eat it, knowing I was conquering my addiction, but I truly do find joy in baking for Superman and the kids. And, it's something they look forward to. It's the highest compliment to me when my kids say, "Mommy, that's sooooooo yummy! Can I have more?!" To which I reply, "HECK NO! That's MINE!" I jest, I jest.

We've wrapped up school for the year, and although my incredible in-laws are going to continue to do math and reading with the kids over the summer, I'm taking the summer off. Initially, I felt that if they were working with the kids, I should probably be doing something too, but I eventually convinced myself that I need a break. I'll be a better teacher in the fall if I have a break from being "teacher."

The weather has been downright strange these last few weeks. I'm longing for warm weather, but I'm sure in a few weeks I'll be complaining about the 100-degree heat.

I've continued my ongoing list of 1,000 to be thankful for. Here's what I've written down over the last few weeks:

102. Laying in the sun on a warm day

103. Watching my sister on t.v.! (She was on the show Yard Crashers!)

104. Skipping school on a day I just want to relax and enjoy the kids

105. Kids sleeping in

106. A stocked fridge

107. Kids making good choices

108. A husband who makes his family a priority (mine!)

109. The smell of alfalfa

110. Going to the fair

111. Wildflowers growing

112. Strawberry season

113. Morning walks with the kids

114. Homemade marshmallows!

115. Date nights with Superman

116. Reading my Bible in a quiet house

117. Cuddling baby animals

118. Hiking with the family

119. Hearing the kids recite memory verses

120. Dinner with friends

121. Seeing J-Man play his guitar on stage

122. Eating cold, fresh, ripe strawberries

123. Realizing how much I love running when I can't do it because of an injury

124. Finishing school!

125. Knowing that Superman has 88 days off of work soon!

126. Having grandparents who are still alive

127. People watching

128. Living in the country

129. Watching "Secret Millionaire."

130. Picking up our weekly fruits and veggies at a farm down the street

131. Purging

132. Seeing clean homeschooling cupboards after purging

133. Knowing there is still sun behind all the clouds

134. Living in a place that has local fruits and veggies year-round

135. Being spontaneous

136. Feeling close to the Lord

137. Seeing our kids be generous with each other

138. Finding a sports doctor who can help my Achilles tendon

139. Hearing birds chirping early in the morning

140. Seeing a hummingbird up close

141. Painted toes

142. Homemade waffles on a Sunday morning

I was participating in the 100 push-up challenge (for the second time), and for the second time, I hit the wall at 60 push-ups. I'm serious, I could NOT do another push-up. I stayed on that day for weeks, trying to gain more, but I couldn't. That's when I decided 60 is good. Sixty is just fine. Sixty is plenty. So, that's that. Tom, my friend, how are your push-ups coming along?

I injured my Achilles tendon after running my fastest mile almost 3 weeks ago. I'm going to a sports therapist, and he has already helped me immensely, but I still have a few more weeks to go until I can run again. Thank goodness I just pulled it, and didn't tear it. I'll be patient, but in the meantime, I'm going stir crazy for some running. All in good time, I suppose.

Now I'm trying to figure out how to continue my no-sugar commitment over this summer when birthdays and hot summer nights and memories with the kids all beckon me. Can someone please invent some type of virtual reality where I can binge on sugar and have the same satiety while not actually ingesting anything??

Hello, My Name is Shanti and I'm a Sugarholic.

2011-05-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

I've always loved sugar. Really. Anything sugar. When I was younger, I used to eat spoonfuls of brown sugar as a snack, and I'm not exaggerating. How I didn't get my first cavity until a few years ago, I'll never know. I would still eat Fruity Pebbles every morning if I could...or Lucky Charms...Or Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch. It runs in the family...my mama's got a sweet tooth, my grandpa's got a sweet tooth...my brother and sister have sweet tooths. It's a curse, I tell you. When I was a teenager, I used to eat sugar cereal for breakfast, and for lunch, I'd buy something sweet like a Hostess cupcake or chocolate bar. I'd snack on candy in the afternoon and then force down a bit of food for dinner...and end the night with a bowl of ice cream or another bowl of sugar cereal.

I've been lucky in that obesity does not run in our family, so I could pretty much eat as much junk as I wanted, and never "see" the repercussions. I mean, I would feel it...lethargy, irritability, aching muscles and joints, foggy-headedness, mental unclarity. It was all there, but I never attributed it to the sugar. Heavens no.

Most of you know our family has been on the Paleo Diet since last year. It includes cutting out dairy, legumes, all grains and sugar. It was going great. My joint pain was gone, my energy level increased dramatically, my monthly cycles regulated, and I just felt more clear-headed. But a few months ago, I slipped. I ate a piece of cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory. For any normal, non-addicted person, this would be no big deal. But for me, it was like an alcoholic slipping and having a drink. After that, I could not stop thinking about sugar. I fought it for a few days, but in a moment of weakness when I was out by myself, the Kit Kat called my name. What would one little Kit Kat do? Surely nothing. But that one indulgence led to another....and another...and another.

My sugar indulgences became a dirty little secret. Here I was, eating everything "right" at home, and any time I was around other people. But the moment I was by myself or just had the girls with me, it was "let's get an ice cream cone!" (vanilla soft serve dipped in chocolate? YES PLEASE!) or "let's have a little treat" or "let's share a cookie from that UH-MAZING cookie shop." It had now been months since my little secret had started. I felt like a cheating wife. I was the hypocrite of all hypocrites. I couldn't even tell Superman even though I knew he really wouldn't care. The sugar cravings were consuming my thoughts. Every time I ate a meal, it was immediately followed by almost unbearable yearnings for something sweet...preferably chocolate. I realized my desire for sugar had become an idol for me. I felt like a total failure. And then, I hit bottom.

I was at Costco with the girls and was perusing the aisles, fighting off my urge to buy a bulk-sized box of chocolate bars. I casually picked up a container of chocolate-covered raisins...read the ingredients. Corn syrup. That's a deal breaker for me. Ironic, I know. Moved on to the chocolate-covered caramel clusters...corn syrup again. Ok, ok, I knew I should have stopped there. But by now I was on a mission. And then I spotted it. A box of divine fudge made by a local Chocolatier. Ah, yes! I found it! I proceeded to polish off a POUND of chocolate over the next 24 hours. And I was sleeping for like 9 of that.

And that was it. That's when I hit bottom. I was feeling physically awful...I was waking up a ton at night, getting up in the morning with that old joint and neck pain rearing its ugly head, and that nasty afternoon slump was in control of my life. It was time to confess. All day, I had butterflies in my stomach. I don't know why I was so scared to tell Superman, but I felt like I needed to confess this dirty secret to someone fast, or I was gonna keel over from anxiety.

That night, we sat on the couch together after the kids went to bed, and I told him I needed to talk to him about something. It's not very often that I preface a conversation with those words, so he was thinking this was something serious. I proceeded to tell him everything...all about my slow fall to destruction, how sweets had totally consumed my mind and I couldn't wait for a "fix" after each meal. I said I felt this addiction had become an idol for me, and I was trying to figure out if there was an underlying psychological cause for me feeling I had to keep it "secret." Superman had a little smirk on his face. He was sympathetic, understanding and encouraging. Of course he didn't make fun of me, or scold me or tell me what a loser I was.

He told me I was being really hard on myself, but said he would support me in getting off sugar if that's what I wanted. And I said yes. You see, I can't eat sugar in moderation. I don't believe I would ever offer a recovering alcoholic a drink and say, "It's o.k...it's just one!" Likewise, I just cannot allow myself to indulge in sugary sweet delectable desserts. Sad? Yes, a bit. But there have been too many times when I have gone off sugar successfully, only to re-introduce it "just for special occasions" months later, and slowly have it become an obsession again.

So, there you have it. I'm a Sugarholic. I'm on Day 4 of no sugar, and the first few days were...well, let's just say, NOT FUN. It could be a combination of not feeling well in general and sugar withdrawal, but all I know is that I did not fell well this weekend. Today is better. The cravings are starting to subside a bit.

I struggled with whether to confess this publicly. It's quite humiliating, really. Especially because I am constantly preaching about how wonderful the Paleo diet is. And it is. If you follow it. I know that progress in a situation like this comes from openly confessing it. I know once I share a struggle, I'm more likely to stay accountable. So as embarrassing as it is, it is what it is.

I apologize for being hypocritical. Those dirty, dark secrets can sure take over when you let them. I'm sorry for misrepresenting myself. I have always strove to be an open book, allowing others to see my struggles and triumphs, wanting to be authentic. I hope you are able to forgive me, and if you see me, ask me, "Have you had any sugar lately?" I want to be held accountable!

Lent Recap

2011-05-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

So, you may remember that back in March, I made a commitment to pray for Superman during Lent. It was something I chose to do, getting up 45 minutes early each morning to cover my soul mate in prayer. I'm not talking a typical quick "Please bless Superman" prayer, but a thoughtful, desperate plea for the Lord to heal him. I created a private prayer blog, something I could go back and read to remind myself what the Lord had or hadn't done. It was something new for me...making those moments the center of my day, the most important thing I did each morning. I mean, I regularly pray and read my Bible, but never anything like this. There were days when I truly felt the Lord was listening to me, answering my cry for help. There were other days, however, when I wondered if I was wasting my time by praying. Here's a sample of one of those days:

"Lord, I'm feeling discouraged. Is it worth it for me to pray? It seems that Chris is just as bad now as he was 26 days ago when I started praying for him. Last night I begged you to help him wake up this morning feeling energetic and encouraged, and that his inflammation would be better. Lord, what is the purpose of his pain? I know you don't have to answer me, but I am so frustrated. I feel like it is pointless for me to get up early each morning and pray for him if you have no intention of healing him. Am I wasting my time? It hurts me to see him so discouraged and beat down. The poor man is at his wit's end. Please, please, please help him! Help him to at least see a glimmer of hope at the end of this trial, Lord. I know you are Lord of all, and you have plans to prosper Chris and not harm him, but I feel like I (and he) need a little bit of encouragement. Are you still there? Do you care that he is suffering? Please, Lord, give us some guidance. I love you and we just want to be in your will. Help us to have clean hearts that can hear you speaking to us. Take away anything that may be hindering us from that closeness with you. Thank you for all our blessings. Help us to remember gratitude even in the midst of discouragement."

It was rough at times. There were mornings following sleepless nights, when I wanted to turn off the alarm and roll over in bed. There were even tears of discouragement, feeling as though my prayers were being shot off somewhere into space, floating through the unknown. I ultimately felt I needed to press on; I knew the Lord had not forgotten me or my requests. He's all about his timing, not mine. All I needed to do was put Him first, and He would take care of the rest.

So pray I did. And by Easter Sunday, Superman was having more "good" days than "bad." It wasn't an overnight healing miracle. It was a gradual transition that would probably have gone unnoticed if not for our fervent unrelenting prayers, and our conscious attention to the details. I would still say he's not 100% healed. However, I think this portion of my "Eve of Easter" prayer sums it up:

"...Lord, this night concludes my Lent commitment to rise early each morning and pray for Chris' healing. Although we may not have seen a dramatic healing miracle overnight, I thank you for the obvious strides he has made over these last 46 days. Thank you for healing him piece by piece, bit by bit. Thank you for giving us encouragement when we felt as though all hope was lost in regards to his health. Thank you for reminding us that you are fully in control, weaving an intricate tapestry, and we are merely the tools you use to accomplish your tasks. Lord, I pray that you would continue to heal Chris' body. I pray that you would continue to bless me with the commitment and energy to get up early until we can call his body "healed." Please, Lord, help us to notice positive changes in Chris' health and to give you and only you the glory. May we never forget who healing comes from and never be shy about sharing the good news with those around us. I pray that Chris would feel your presence so evidently that he can be nothing but joyful when he wakes up each morning..."

You know what? Last night, Superman said that he had the best day he has had in probably a decade. For the first time in years, he was pain free. I don't know whether that will last consistently or not, but I do know that he's on the healing track. I know he is being healed. It's just happening on the Lord's timetable. So, I'll be patient. I'll keep praying early every morning until that glorious day when we can sing praise: Superman is healed!

Passover, Good Friday, Easter...and Good Deeds

2011-04-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

First things first:

91. Bonfires
92. Singing songs around said fire
93. Worshiping with 20,000 other people!
94. Prayer time
95. Knowing there are less than 6 weeks until summer!
96. Sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch on a sunny spring day
97. Watching buds turn into flowers, then turn into fruit
98. Homegrown eggs
99. My niece, Jelena, going home from the hospital!
100. Reflecting on Easter and the significance it bears in my life
101. Enjoying chocolate after a looooooonnnngg time away from it!

We had grand plans for Easter break. We had a mental list of things to get done around the property by the time Superman went back to work today. It didn't quite work out the way we planned, as so often is the case. We imagined each day, accomplishing tasks and neatly checking them off our lists. Instead, weather, laziness, and sheer enjoyment of down time took over. We pretty much got nothing done. Well, nothing we had planned. But we did do some other things:

Tina had her first haircut (with us):

Her previous owner gave me a halter lesson so I can take her on walks. Now I can force her to love me!

On Palm Sunday, my sister did a little activity with the kids, laying palm branches down and having them walk over them as Jesus did:

On Passover, we read the Passover story and had the kids paint ketchup on our door frame to symbolize what the Israelites did:

On Good Friday, we had a bonfire with the kids and read the passage of Jesus' death. We sang songs around the campfire, roasted hot dogs, and just had an all-around good time:

Superman likes to say he doesn't know how to play the guitar, but he does. And now, I have evidence:

N wanted to pray with daddy after hearing the Bible passage about Jesus' death:

And then, of course, Miss G wanted to follow!

And for Easter, we joined 20,000 other people in worship to raise funds and awareness for 3 very worthy causes. It was an incredible time of worship, and I'm so excited to hear what kind of funds we raised! Here we are lighting up the arena:

30 days of Service wraps up this Friday! Can't believe it's already been almost a month. Here's what we did over the last few weeks:

*Mailed packages to family for Easter

*Wrote notes to teachers for Teacher Appreciation Week

*Weeded at Granny's house

*Let someone go in front of us at the store and bought their child (with mommy's approval) a pack of gum

*Cleaned the office of our favorite adoption agency:

*After getting my new iPhone (WOO HOO!!!), I wrote a letter to the supervisor of the sales gal, saying what an excellent job she did

*Washed dinner dishes for Granny and Grandpa after eating dinner at their house

*Took cookies to Superman's grandparents

*Had a day where each kid picked something kind to do for someone else that day

*Loaded groceries into the car for an older couple at Costco

*Put flowers on graves at the local cemetery with cousins:

*Picked up trash for Earth Day:

*Took Easter eggs and a note to friends thanking them for their friendship

*Paid for parking for the person behind us going in for Easter services at Arco Arena

We only have 5 more days left! This week we'll be mailing off a package to our "adopted" soldier!

So, we didn't get anything on our list accomplished. But, we did get a lot of life accomplished, and it was worth slacking off so we could experience that life with the kids!

I'll be writing up a summary of my Lent experience this week. I need to reflect a bit before I put it into writing!

Multitudes on Monday and a Big Boy Birthday

2011-04-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

79. Easter break!
80. Moments of quiet focusing on what the Lord has been doing in our lives
81. Having dinner with family at my mom's house
82. Reading a good book
83. Warm cookies fresh out of the oven
84. Lost teeth and tooth fairies
85. Celebrating birthdays
86. Seeing M-Dog smile
87. My new iPhone!
88. Hearing J-Man play a new chord on the guitar
89. Laser eye surgery
90. Hanging with friends

It's drizzly outside today, but nothing could dampen the spirits of this NEWLY 6-year-old boy, who turned 6 just today. He lost his first two teeth this week, and got a new bike from Nana and Papa. We celebrated him this morning with breakfast at Mimi's Cafe, and M-Dog polished off a "manly" Belgian waffle with strawberries and whipped cream. M-Dog, you have such a sweet spirit. We love you and are so thankful the Lord trusted us to raise you!! Happy birthday, big boy!

30 Days of Service Update and Multitude Mondays

2011-04-11T07:22:00.000-07:00

So, how are your 30 Days of Service going? We've had a blast thinking of things to do for people each day. Most of our "acts of kindness" have been small, but deliberate. So far, we have:

*Given a big tip to a waitress and invited her to the Easter service at our church

*Taken a friend's kids cocoa on a cool, overcast morning

*Given a thank you note w/a See's gift card to a doctor that worked on a Sunday in order to help Mr. C w/his ear infection

*Sent special letters to the kids we sponsor through Compassion International

*Given a Jamba Juice gift card/thank you to a dad who volunteers every week to play soccer with a group of kids

*Helped a neighbor haul brush

*Paid for the person behind me in the drive-thru at Starbucks and left a note wishing them a happy day and inviting them to church

*Made fudge babies for a friend as a thank you

*Sang a special song to my {93-year-old} grandma that her mom used to sing to her, she used to sing to my mom, my mom used to sing to me, and now I sing to my girls:

*Donated clothes and diapers to a mom in need

So, you see, most of our acts haven't been difficult, but they've required a bit of thought. It really has been a blessing so far...can't wait for the next few weeks to see what else we get to do!

68. The dentist and the ability to have our teeth cleaned

69. Having my grandma chime in and sing with the girls and I

70. Looking up in the dark and seeing a sky filled with bright stars

71. Doctors that work on Sundays!

72. Watching our kids ride on our pigs

73. Making it through a week of no coffee and feeling better for it!

74. Spring cleaning, a.k.a. purging!

75. Eating a ripe, cold, sweet mango

76. Seeing my sister

77. Being so close to a hummingbird, I can hear its wings buzzing

78. Clean sheets!

Everything is Permissible, Not Everything is Beneficial

2011-04-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

I was chatting with a friend the other day and discussing the Biblical issues related to diet that I talked about here. She reminded me of a very important verse that had slipped my mind and melted into the unknown of my subconscious: 1 Corinthians 10:23 (thanks, Lori!). I looked it up in a few different versions, and I love the various translations:

NIV: "Everything is permissible--but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible--but not everything is constructive."

NASB: "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify."

Basic English Bible: "We are free to do all things, but there are things which are not wise to do. We are free to do all things, but not all things are for the common good."

They all say the same thing, but in different ways. Of course we are permitted to eat what we want--Jesus' death on the cross is what released us from the old law. But does that mean everything is beneficial? Of course not. Profitable? Nope. Wise? Uh-uh. When Adam and Eve decided to blow it for all mankind (ok, ok, they're human...), it changed things. We are not perfect. Thus, when we are in charge of things, they don't go perfectly. Crops get messed with, animals are treated inhumanely, and we no longer follow basic healthy guidelines for living that were once common sense.

So what does this mean for our no-grain lifestyle? Well, Superman is not part of the equation...his body attacks itself when he eats gluten or pretty much any other grain. I can't change his diet at this point, because it eats up his insides. Unless my fervent prayer miraculously heals him, which is more than possible! As for the rest of us...I think I've come to the conclusion that we will still avoid all grains and dairy and sugar in our house, but I'm ok with the occasional treat, especially if it is whole, organic, and I know its source. I really want our kids to understand about moderation and treating our bodies the way the Lord intended (or as close to it as we can). If we are at someone's house, they are welcome to eat what is being served (with the exception of J-Man and dairy...it's better for him to avoid). The hope is that they will listen to their bodies, and realize what affects them in a negative way, so they can make better choices as they get older...not because I tell them to, but because they know what's best for them.

By the way, Romans 14 is an excellent passage as well, and really sums up how I feel we should be living in regards to what we eat. You can read it here.

Enjoy your weekend, and enjoy some good food!

What the Bible Says About My Diet

2011-04-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

Most of you know about Superman's food allergies. His auto-immune response to gluten (and seemingly never-ending list of food sensitivities) thrust us into a new realm of eating. I've read book after book after book about food allergies and ways to deal with them. A friend recommended "The Paleo Solution," which I discuss here. It changed our way of life. We went from eating like everyone else (pre-diagnosis) to eating gluten-free, but still many processed foods, to eating no grains, dairy, sugar or legumes. I had never felt so good as I did after taking those foods out of my diet. It was amazing. Our kids were healthier, more focused in school, and I could just see the difference the diet change had made in their lives. J-Man, for the first time in his life, has not had to take any asthma or allergy medication this season. His eczema? Gone. His labored wheezing? Gone. His constant sneezing, itchy eyes? Gone. It's truly been a miracle. Superman improved dramatically, although not entirely. My morning joint pain disappeared...and so did my afternoon slump.

But something kept eating at me {no pun intended}. Why is it that the Bible not only mentions eating grains, but actually encourages it? Why is it that God told our ancestors that every "plant bearing seed" was theirs and why is it that "One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grain fields, and his disciples began to pick some heads of grain, rub them in their hands and eat the kernels" (Luke 6:1)? Why in Ezekiel 4:9 did He say, "Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself"? If grains are so bad for us, why would He advise us to eat them?

I started researching the topic, and came across a book titled, "What the Bible Says About Healthy Living." I'm only about halfway through it right now, but it's giving me a lot of things to think about. I think, unfortunately, that we have messed too much with something God had already made perfect. We genetically modify wheat and corn and soy and expect them to be just as good as the way God made them. But what about organic, whole, unprocessed grains? Are those better for us?

I would rather my kids eat healthfully based on Biblical reasoning than just do it "because mom and dad say so." I want them to own their eating habits, and when someone asks why they eat a certain way, be able to respond with good, sound Biblical reasons that they understand and agree with.

So, are we going to ditch the no-grain diet? I'm not sure. This issue is near the top of my prayer list right now as I see it as something valuable and important. Obviously, I can't go feeding Superman a bunch of grains. Well, unless I want him to keel over...which I don't. But there are six other people in our family, and I only want to be doing what the Lord would want us to do.

So, what are your feelings on this?

The Prayer That Brought Tears to My Eyes

2011-04-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

Every night the girls and I pray together. We hold hands in a little circle and each of us prays. I think N has a special gift for prayer, as every time she prays, she amazes me with her thoughtfulness for others and ability to remember things we should be praying for. Superman says it's probably just because it's the one time she can talk as much as she wants, and we won't ask her to be quiet. =) I like my idea better, though.

Anyhoo, the other night, we were praying together, and N surprised me with her usual articulation. And then she said this, "Thank you for dying on the cross. And thank you that you are alive today!" And she said it with such conviction and appreciation! It wasn't an empty prayer. She was genuinely thankful for our Savior. And it filled my heart to overflowing with pride. In a good way. I was just so darn proud of her, and her sweet little 4-year-old innocent prayer. Isn't that what it all boils down to, anyway? We would be nowhere if it weren't for the gift of salvation given to us by a Grace-filled Father. Enter mommy tears.

56. Quiet moments with a sick boy in the middle of the night

57. Experiencing spring for the first time in our house

58. Sharing our farm with others

59. The llama coming to me for the first time

60. Family dinners

61. Running outside in overcast weather

62. Evening walks

63. Picnics with friends

64. Seeing Superman happy

65. Homeopathic ways of healing a sick child

66. Sleeping deeply

67. Counting down the days until summer!

P.S. We are smack dab in the midst of our 30 Days of Service, and what a blessing it's been! I'll soon be sharing what we've done so far, and what we have on our plate for the next few weeks!

Multitudes on Monday

2011-03-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

We had a really great weekend. Saturday morning we went and handed out socks and gloves to homeless people down in Sacramento. It was really rotten weather; windy, rainy and cold! It really made us appreciate all the more when we got into our warm car when we were done and headed back to our warm, dry house. The kids all did amazing. I was sure they were going to complain and ask when we would be heading home, but they were so kind, and it was just wonderful to see them thinking of others before themselves. We had some great conversations about how blessed we are after that experience. It really got me excited about the 30 days of service starting FRIDAY!

44. Waking up with energy

45. Singing at the top of our lungs, driving

46. Going for an unplanned run and feeling great afterwards

47. Fun, unexpected hail storms that cover the ground in ice!

48. The hot cocoa that ensues after such a hailstorm

49. Sipping tea on a rainy morning

50. Green traffic lights!

51. Handing out socks and gloves to cold homeless people

52. Coming home to our warm house afterwards

53. Sunny days!

54. Holding hands and praying as a family

55. Surprising my kids with a trip to the doughnut shop when they least expect it!

Happy Monday, friends!

30 Days of Service Ideas

2011-03-23T11:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, 30 Days of Service is only 8 days away! We've been working on our end coming up with ideas on how we can serve our community, our neighbors, our friends, and our family. Here's what we've come up with so far:

Help at the SPCA

Bring treats in to the teachers at Superman's school

Give a grocery gift card to someone in need

Visit a retirement home and bring something homemade

Pick up trash in our nearby town

Volunteer at a homeless shelter

Send letters to military

Donate clothes

Pay for the person behind us in Starbucks, leaving a note inviting them to church

Bring cookies to fire station

Bring cookies to police station

Donate a goat or a share of a goat through Heifer International

Bring toys to the children's hospital

Make backpacks with supplies for foster kids

Bring cookies to an elderly neighbor

Visiting one of the neighboring farms and ask what we can do to help

Let someone go in front of us at the grocery store and offer to unload their cart for them

For the kids: Do someone else's chores for the day

Call up a random friend and ask what I could do for them that day

Bring coffee/cocoa to a sick friend

Help do small tasks at our local Christian adoption agency

Send extra gifts to the kids we sponsor through World Vision and Compassion International

What other ideas do you have? Please share! We only have about a week left to come up with at least 30 of them!

Got Hail?

2011-03-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

We had a hail storm like nothing I've seen in my life yesterday. I know to some of you, this is no big deal, but around our parts, it was a hugely fun surprise and we were all running around screaming like kids in a candy store (with money in our pockets).

Here's M-Dog taking a dare and going out for a run in it:

That's a pretty big hail stone, if you ask me!

It was just so beautiful coming down and seeing it cover our driveway like snow:

Seriously, the kids had so much fun. I did, too.

The chickens were out roaming when it hit, so they went for cover under our steps:

J-Man was pretty sure it was the neatest thing ever.

Multitudes on Monday

2011-03-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

34. A job for Superman

35. Hot showers

36. The opportunity to adopt

37. Lazy pajama days

38. Fallen trees narrowly missing our well pump

39. A husband who spends all day cutting up fallen trees when he deserves to relax

40. Joy in my life

41. Healthy foods

42. Sleeping in for a little while

43. Our church

Saturday night was incredibly windy, and we lost two more oak trees. Amazingly, one of them narrowly missed our well house by landing on a fence post. We spent most of the weekend huddled inside staying out of the elements, but on Saturday morning, I attended a meeting for an awesome ministry, Safe Families, which I hope to talk about more in the future. Have you heard of it? Check out the link. You'll be moved just reading about it! I'm hoping to help get it launched at our church soon. Enjoy your Monday!

A Challenge to Challenge Me {and others}

2011-03-15T13:36:00.000-07:00

We've been watching the show "Secret Millionaire." Have you seen it? If you haven't, you should. It's inspiring. It makes me dream of having millions of dollars that I could excitedly give away to deserving people serving others. But alas, I have not millions of dollars. I do, however, have my health and five young kids who are ~~forced~~ lucky enough to be dragged around with me everywhere I go. So it got me thinking--what could I do for others? Well, I could think of a lot of things. I thought, wouldn't it be cool if I could do 30 acts of service in 30 days? Yes, I know. It seems a bit crazy. But hey, that's my cup o' tea. Craziness is my middle name.

Superman says I should give myself two months to complete such a task. Maybe he's right. I know life can get in the way of big dreams, but 30 acts of service in 30 days sounds a lot more catchy. I'll give myself some grace. We may have a day that we don't get out of the house because of sick kiddos or uncontrollable farm duties, but I'm aiming for 30 days. April 1-30th to be exact. So, here's the challenge:

Complete one act of service every day in April. It can be something as small as letting someone go in front of you in the grocery line to paying for the person behind you at Starbucks to serving in a homeless shelter to donating money to a worthy cause to visiting a convalescent home. You decide! I will be listing my ideas over the next few weeks, and I would love it if you add to mine. We can all help each other out. I highly recommend making your list ahead of time, and roughly calendaring each day, so you won't forget or get caught up in daily activities and let the day slip by.

I have a special prize for each person/family that completes this challenge and provides me with a brief written account of their acts of service.

Want to share this challenge on your blog? Please do! Feel free to copy my logo and/or link back to this post, but please let me know if you've posted it on your blog so I can keep up with you! Share it on Facebook, Twitter it, whatever. Let's spread some love for 30 days and change our world!

Questions? Ask away!

Multitudes on Monday

2011-03-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

24. Stopping to stretch while running and seeing a ladybug crawl by
25. Settling into a soft bed and blankets
26. Quiet moments on a day when I'm exhausted
27. Standing outside at dawn, listening to the sounds of nature
28. Having a llama eat out of my hand
29. Feeling happy
30. Friends stopping by unexpectedly
31. Hot cocoa with almond milk
32. Having a working car
33. New Bible to mark up!

Something big is coming soon. It'll be a challenge of all challenges. Stay tuned!

What's Been Going on Around Here...

2011-03-11T11:10:00.000-08:00

Some of this...

We got a llama last weekend and named her Tina. Have you seen Napolean Dynamite?
She's a guard llama, so she's not cuddly. Yet. I'm working on her.

And some of this...

Our sheep, Martha, had two baby lambs! They are named Sunday and Monday

since we didn't know if they were born Sunday night or Monday morning.

We had to dock their tails last week...we're still waiting for them to fall off.

And some of this...the goats are bonding with the lambs. Here's Esther being a

good auntie.

Tasty is growing nice and fat. She'll be "meating" her demise in a few months.

Spring is springing! Our Tulip tree has decided flowering would be

more fun than remaining dormant.

Our orchard is planted and ready to grow! Superman and his dad (mostly his dad)

spent a lot of time and effort planting the 71 trees.

N turned four and decided she wanted her ears pierced. Again. The last time

she had them pierced, one earring fell out, and the hole closed up. Whoops!

And on Ash Wednesday, we did this. The kids each prayed for forgiveness

for something specific and I put a little cross of ashes on their foreheads

to remind them of what Christ did for us.

My gratitude journal has been going wonderfully and it's stretched me to

consciously think of things throughout the day that I am thankful for.

And this. I've been spending lots of time outdoors admiring the amazing

creation surrounding us. It has been nothing short of breathtaking.

My commitment to pray for Superman for Lent has been wonderful. I was enjoying the early morning peacefulness so much, that I decided to get up even earlier so I can savor those quiet moments of solitude with the Lord. It was just going by too fast. I've prayed more in these last few days than in weeks combined. Waking up in the dark, writing in my prayer journal, and watching the soft light of dawn slowly make its way over the hills has been an unintended reward. Here I thought I was giving a sacrifice by getting up early, but instead it has been a blessing.

So that, friends, is what's been going on around our house. Have a wonderful weekend!

Lent

2011-03-09T05:59:00.000-08:00

I have never participated in Lent before. I really didn't know much about it, other than the fact that people around me seem to give up soda or sweets for 40 days. This year, I felt prompted to look into it more. What I read, I liked. "Lent is a time of sacrifice for Jesus." "The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ." (from Wikipedia) It intrigued me.

I want to make a sacrifice. Not something like no sweets or no t.v. or no coffee. Those are all great things to give up, but I wanted something different. I wanted something that would push me closer to God, force me into His arms. I prayed and thought and prayed and thought. And I finally came up with this:

For the next 40 days, I am going to get up early and spend time in prayer, specifically praying for the miraculous healing of Superman.

I normally spend time each day reading my Bible and praying, but this will be different; more intense.

Although Superman's health has improved drastically since last year, he is still plagued by a few things that just will not let go. And I'm ready to get up a 1/2 hour earlier for the next 40 days to spend time praying specifically for his healing. And I expect the Lord will do miraculous things! Whether he will heal Superman, I do not know. But I do know that our God is a God of awesomeness, and I know He does not disappoint.

So, today marks the beginning of Lent. We will pray and experience Ash Wednesday as a family, repenting of our sins and asking the Lord's forgiveness, while thanking Him for the many, many blessings He has given us.

How will you experience Lent?

Thankful Tuesday/Multitude Mondays

2011-03-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

I realized after deciding to do "Thankful Tuesdays" that there is an actual movement of people participating in this idea of documenting the multitude of gifts we've been blessed with. I'm not all that creative, after all. I suppose I could still do my own thing on Tuesdays, but I liked this little picture so much, I decided to switch my days to share to Mondays. What can I say? I want to be on the "Multitude on Mondays" bandwagon. Especially when it involves a cute picture.

9. The opportunity to homeschool our kids

10. Watching kids play soccer

11. Experiencing gratitude more in my day

12. Kids napping

13. Sitting next to Superman

14. Knowing we're making a difference in our kids' lives

15. Rainy days to snuggle on the couch

16. Having a closet!

17. Kind people who think of others before themselves

18. Children learning to read

19. Running outside

20. Superman's health improving so much in the last year

21. In-laws helping more than asked

22. Hugs from kids (mine in particular!)

23. Singing songs to my girls that my mom used to sing to me at night

And the winner is...

2011-03-04T15:18:00.000-08:00

According to randomizer.org.................................................

Amy V.!

Just send me a message with your name, address and whether you want a Kindle edition or regular hard copy, and I'll send this awesome book your way!

One Thousand Gifts: A Challenge (The beginning of Thankful Tuesdays)

2011-03-01T08:23:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine mentioned this book in her blog a few weeks ago (thanks, Karen B.!), and while perusing someone else's blog, I saw the book recommended again. I didn't really have any idea what it was about, but I respect both these women and was intrigued.

I haven't finished the book yet, but have gained enough insight to make me ready to take the challenge: Find gratitude in everyday life, in everyday things. Gifts that I would normally blaze past, never noting. Noticing things as they come, not creating a forced list of "things to be thankful for." One thousand things, to be exact. This concept truly goes hand-in-hand with my post about "unconditional gratitude;" it just seems to want to flow naturally from me. Once again, the Lord is all about timing. Had I read this a few months ago, I may have taken the challenge as a "fun" exercise, but reading it now has made me really want to dwell on each piece of gratitude and savor its place in my life.

I was going to wait until I finished the book to start the "challenge," but being March 1st, and how much I love starting new things on the first of any month, I think I'll start now. One thousand gifts. Can you think of 1,000 things to be grateful for? You can join me if you like. It'll take me months, I'm sure, and it's gonna be a journey. There will be days of discouragement when the last thing I would like to do is find gratitude in my circumstances. I'll be jotting down pieces of gratitude throughout the week in my "gratitude journal," and then recording them here every Tuesday for "Thankful Tuesdays." I know, "Thankful Thursday" would sound better, but Thursdays are busy for me, so Tuesday it is.

As I sit here typing, the first few gifts surround me:

1. My giggling children playing nicely

2. Warm fire crackling

3. Hot coffee steaming, filling the house with its tasteful aroma

4. Baby lambs drinking from their mommy

5. Worship music playing

6. Dryer running, something I take for granted. So thankful I don't have to hang clothes out to dry in this cold weather!

7. Sun streaming and dancing off pink blossoms on trees

8. Beginning of March, the signs of spring coming

Have a wonderful day! Hope you are able to pause and find gratitude in some of the less "obvious" gifts surrounding you today!

P.S. Don't forget about the giveaway on Friday! You can enter here. I forgot to mention, the winner can request either a Kindle edition or hard copy version!

Medicine to My Soul

2011-02-25T12:25:00.000-08:00

I think J-Man may take after Superman and find solace and inspiration while in the shower. He often just stands there, not washing himself, while I wring my hands hoping the hot water doesn't run out. Last night, J-Man happened to be the first one in the shower, which meant there were four other little ones who would need hot water. After about five minutes, I went to check on him and noticed his back was the only thing wet. I reminded him to "hurry up" since everyone else still had to take showers. Five minutes later, I checked on him, and guess what? He still hadn't washed himself! I was a bit irritated, and said in a stern "mom voice," "J-Man! Hurry UP! There are FOUR OTHER PEOPLE who need to take showers!" and walked out of the bathroom. As soon as my foot got out the door, I realized I shouldn't have used that tone. I went back and forth in my mind on whether I needed to go back in and apologize. The "old" Shanti (before conscious parenting!) would have just left it at that. After all, I had already reminded him. I was justified in the way I spoke to him. But, the "new" Shanti thought, "How would I like it if somebody talked to me that way?" And I marched myself right back in there. I said, "J-Man, I'm sorry I used that tone with you. I should have asked you to hurry in a nicer way." To which he replied, "It's okay, mommy. It was my fault--I should have listened to you the first time!" And he was done with his shower in less than a minute. He came out, hugged me, and said, "Thank you for saying sorry."

Medicine to my soul, I say. Medicine to my soul!

Being honest with my kids, and letting them know I am working on myself has been such a blessing. I feel as though they are carrying the burden with me, and are much more likely to be on my team instead of feeling like they have to play defense. Had I not apologized, J-Man would have taken another 10 minutes to get out of the shower, we would have run out of hot water, I would have still been irritated, and he most likely would have had an "off" night. Instead, we had a moment of connection, which led to reading library books, snuggling on the couch, and baking chewy chocolate cookies together. I like Option B much better!

Giveaway!

2011-02-24T07:28:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited to be doing a giveaway for this book! As I mentioned, it changed my parenting, and in turn, my life.

The Connected Child, co-authored by Karen Purvis, David Cross and Wendy Sunshine, is specifically written for adoptive parents, but has so many wonderful insights for biological parents as well. If you're a parent or know someone who is, you should read this book! You will learn many things about yourself and your children, biological and adopted.

Here's the rundown:

*Leave a comment here saying what your favorite thing about being a parent is. You'll automatically be entered!

*For an additional entry, share my blog on your Facebook, Twitter or other social networking site, and link back to here!

You won't be disappointed!

The giveaway will take place on Friday, March 4th.

Happy entries!

How a Book Changed My Life

2011-02-22T13:11:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I just read the book, "The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family." If you are an adoptive parent, read it! If you are just a "regular" parent who feels you could stand to improve, read it! I bought the book more out of curiosity than anything else. Last week, we featured a therapist specializing in adoption at a seminar we put on at our church. She said she should get a commission for referring clients to this book. I figured it wouldn't hurt to read what these authors had to say.

I have the book on my Kindle, and as I am sitting here typing this, I am looking through the fifty notes I made while reading it. How do I pick the most important? I'm not going to summarize the book, because I can't do it justice. If you want to know more about it, you can check it out here.

You're probably thinking, "C'mon! Get ON with it already!" Ok, so here it is. Here's what I found out about myself while reading this book (I thought this book was supposed to be about adopted kids??):

I am an emotionally distant, avoidant parent.

Remember my post about "Conscious Parenting?" I'm getting better. The Lord has woven this intricate tapestry of my life, and He has had all these things come together to work amazingly well together: the retreat, my desire to change, planting this book in front of me...they're all connected. This book wouldn't have had near the same effect had I read it a year ago, or even a few months ago. But even with my improvement, there were things I didn't know about myself. Towards the end of the book there is a "parenting style" quiz for parents. There were two options for each question. One answer would be considered "avoidant" (A) and one would be considered "nurturing." (N) Here's one example:

"When you're talking to your child across the table, you comfortably reach out and touch her cheek or stroke her hair, and gently look into her eyes."(N) OR "When you're talking to your child across the table, your interactions are reserved and it's uncomfortable for you to make warm eye contact or reach out and touch her." (A)

Can you guess what my answer was? I am so devastated to admit that my answers were all (A)'s except for two.

I don't think people on the outside would ever consider me an avoidant, disconnected, detached parent. But I am. It does not come naturally to snuggle my kids, to gaze into their eyes, to give them a warm hug "just because." I don't naturally give them a hug in the morning when they get up or smother their little faces with kisses at night. It is not natural for me. I, as awful and horrible and shameful as it is, am an uncomfortable, distant parent.

I can have fun with my kids. I love going places and having picnics and making memories and baking desserts. I love to go on hikes and watch them learn and listen to them have deep conversations in their bedroom at night. But I never realized I was perpetuating a cycle of arms distance between parent and child. The authors wrote,

"...Avoidant parents sometimes have the mistaken assumption that they're teaching independence by keeping their distance." Yes! That was me. I never wanted to "coddle" my kids. I didn't want them to grow up to be "sissies" or "weak" or "needy." I wanted them to be strong, courageous, confident and independent. And I thought the way to do that was to stretch out my arms and {not embrace} them, but keep them away. If I got too close, they would be too connected. They would need me too much. They would see my weakness.

Please don't think I did this on purpose. I have always longed to be that cuddly mommy. I've enviously watched other moms who easily nurture their children and want nothing more than to hold them close to their heart. It's just that I've failed. Seven years have gone by since Mr. C came into our lives. And 7 years I have failed. Not in everything, but in something. Something so important, the Lord finally stopped me in my tracks while retreating from my daily life just a few weeks ago. He planted that seed of conscious parenting in me. And it sprouted. Then, it grew. It blossomed more than I ever imagined it would. But, still, seven years...I cannot allow myself to be suffocated by the past. I can only keep my eyes on what lies ahead.

The Lord has once before taken a burden from me overnight. There are many things that I've struggled with over the years, continually praying for help in overcoming. But 12 years ago, when I asked the Lord to take my bitterness away, He did. Immediately. And just a few days ago, I sat at the feet of Him who loves me and desperately asked Him to take this from me. Take away this hole in my heart, this unconscionable plague in my soul. Take away my need to be distant and fill it with your love so deep, so wide, that it fills me to overflowing. Fill me in a way that can only be credited to you. And He did. I felt that burden lifted just as I did 12 years ago when I asked the Lord to take away the bitterness of my youth.

You know what I did yesterday? I hugged my kids. I read them books before bed. I complimented them. I told them how much I loved them and what I love about them. And it was phenomenal.

There are so many things this book gave me. It described M-Dog to a "T." It filled my heart with compassion for these children I often forget come from traumatic, awful, hurtful pasts. It reminded me. And its words changed my life. And because of that, it changed my kids' lives. The Lord spoke to me through this book. Maybe He'll speak to you, too.

Grace and Mercy: Give a Little, Get a Lot!

2011-02-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

This weekend in church I almost fell asleep. I'm normally a "in bed at 9:00" kind of gal, but the last few nights I had been up late (like 11 p.m. late!) reading a book called, "The Connected Child." Probably the best book I've read in years. It is written specifically for adoptive parents, but many of the described techniques can be applied to bio kids as well. I'll be talking more about this book in the next few weeks. I've gleaned some life-changing insights and can't wait to share them! But, I want to finish the book first.

I digress. So, I was almost falling asleep in church and I hear the pastor say something (I'm a woman--I can do more than one thing at once!). He shared a definition of grace: "GETTING what you DON'T deserve," and mercy: "NOT getting what you DO deserve." Wow. Maybe some of you have heard this definition before, but I sure hadn't. It was like cold water got splashed in my face, and I woke up. I'm a little embarrassed to admit I don't know what the rest of the sermon was about, because I was focused so much on that little gold nugget. At first, I was just thinking how amazing it is that the Lord of the whole universe, the Creator, has mercy on me. I am not getting what I deserve, for He has forgiven me of my sins. The thought of Jesus dying on the cross for me (and you) was real in that moment. It wasn't just a far-off thought, or a gentle admiration for what He had done for me. It was real.

And grace? I practically swooned right there in my seat. "Getting what you DON'T deserve." I don't deserve his forgiveness. I don't deserve to be in His presence eternally after I die. I am a sinner. I make mistakes every day, and then I apologize and make the same mistake again the next day. I don't deserve what I'm getting.

And then it came to me. This is probably not an "ah-ha" moment to many of you, but for me it was. I am called to be "like Christ." I am called have grace and mercy on my kids; even on perfect strangers. That person who cut me off on the freeway and then proceeded to point their tallest finger at me? That's right. Don't give them what they DO deserve, and GIVE THEM what they DON'T deserve. The bitter person in the checkout line? Yup, you got it. Grace. Mercy. The kid who keeps making the same mistakes? Yes, ma'am (or sir...)! You know it! Why should I expect my kids to make a mistake once and never return to that blunder, when I seem to make the same mistakes over and over again? I shouldn't. I should give them just what the Lord has given me: Grace and mercy. Giving them what they don't deserve, and not giving them what the DO deserve.

Don't you just want do dance a little jig? It's not our job to judge our kids (or anyone else)! We just need to give them a little grace and mercy, and let the Lord do the rest.

Unconditional Gratitude

2011-02-18T13:56:00.000-08:00

Last week while in the car, I heard the DJ on Air One say something that really stuck in my brain. He was telling a story (which I'm ashamed to say I don't remember), and in the end, he said, "Now that's unconditional gratitude!" Hmmm. I wished I could rewind the radio so I could hear exactly what was his definition of "unconditional gratitude," but of course, that wasn't possible. So, I mulled it over in my mind. The kids were amazingly silent in their seats. It was like they sensed mommy must be thinking. Yay, kids!

So, I turned the radio down a bit and really thought about unconditional gratitude. Of course, we all know what "unconditional love" is. I have it for my kids. Even when they leave the gate open so the sheep gets out, or leave the bathroom sink running all night, or lick the top of the tube of toothpaste. I think I have unconditional love for chocolate, too. But most of all, our incredible Lord has it for us. Even if we choose not to accept it. But unconditional gratitude? 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I've heard it dozens of times, and probably said it dozens of times to our kids. But I think adding the term "unconditional" made it really resonate with me.

How many times have I been grateful for the good things the Lord has blessed me with, while wondering what I've done wrong when a challenge comes my way? How often have I wallowed in self-pity over something I should have been unconditionally grateful for? Often, probably. I love that term: Unconditional Gratitude. No matter what. "Not limited," is the definition. I am so often limited in my gratefulness. I have much to be thankful for, and find it easy to tell the Lord "thank you" for those blessings. But it's harder to say "thank you" when a child of mine is consistently making bad choices, even with constant reminders. Thankfulness doesn't come naturally when one of our kids has issues relating to his or her traumatic life before being placed in our home, but I feel no one else will truly understand. It's hard to be thankful when I see my kids' behaviors as reflections of me and allow my pride to dictate how good of a parent I think I am (or am not). It's completely selfish, I know. And I don't say that flippantly. I'll say it again: it's completely selfish.

I should be grateful in every circumstance; unconditionally. I should be praising the Lord amidst trials, and even amongst the monotony of everyday life. I should approach gratefulness as I do love. I would never love my kids "on condition of..." And so I should never be thanking the Lord "on condition of...". So, thank you, God. Thank you for everything. Thank you for the trials, the pain, the anxiety, the obstacles. Thank you for it all!

Conscious Parenting

2011-02-01T12:56:00.000-08:00

This weekend I went to a Bev Bradley women's retreat. I had never heard of her until a few months ago, and when I did, there was a flood of positive praise. "She's so authentic." "She truly shares her heart." "You'll be amazed at how the Spirit speaks through her." So, needless to say, I went with high expectations. I wasn't disappointed.

I'm not really a charismatic worshiper. I often see people around me during worship at church (and at retreats) with their hands raised, echoing sounds of agreement during prayers. I used to feel uncomfortable, coming from a traditional background, but I've come to realize that we each have different ways of worshiping our Creator. Some of us sit quietly and ponder our relationship with God, while others love to shout their praise from the rooftops (or in a church service). Or some may enjoy both. How boring it would be if we all worshiped the same way!

Amidst moments of deep connection with the Lord this weekend, I discovered something about myself. I am rarely a conscious parent. I don't think I'm a bad parent, but I tend to "check out" a lot in order to get through my day. "What do you mean?", you may ask. Well, my "unconscious" parenting can manifest itself in a number of ways:

*Saying "uh-huh" when I really have no clue what my child just said to me.

*Jumping the gun on discipline since I often don't want to sit and listen to a long explanation for behavior.

*Dismissing crying and getting irritated when the kids aren't molding into the little box I've created.

*Spouting off a response quickly when I should pause and ask the Lord to reveal to me what may be the best way to respond to a situation.

These are just a few, and the first three weren't even brought up at the retreat. The last one, though, was one of the most important nuggets of truth I learned over the weekend.

I also learned that the Lord never shames us, and that if I am hearing those "guilty voices" in my head: "You're going to fail." "You're just like your dad." "Your kids are going to go astray," etc. (which, by the way, I hear all the time) I'm not hearing the voice of my Father in Heaven. That means I'm hearing the voice of my enemy; God's enemy: Satan himself. When I hear those things I need to flee from those lies and run to His truth. By the way, I really don't hear voices. I'm no Schizophrenic, I just don't know a better way of saying what I want to say.

It's a short summary of a truly life-changing realization: I can't parent successfully without continually asking the Lord for wisdom throughout the day. I am a broken person, and if I were to think I can raise whole children on my own, I would be sorely mistaken. And so, I am now a conscious parent. I'm still a work-in-progress, but a conscious work-in-progress, nonetheless. I'll still have the "uh-huh" response sometimes, I'm sure. I'll still be quick to judge my kids' behaviors at times. But I am now consciously attempting to be their mom instead of hurrying through my day, trying to get to bedtime.

How "Chi's" Doing...and Experiencing God

2011-01-21T19:03:00.000-08:00

Well, you may be wondering how the Chi running is going. Or maybe you couldn't care less, but you were nice enough to click on my blog to see what was up with me.

I finished reading the book, and I have to say, it has revolutionized my running, and subsequently my spiritual life. The combination of the techniques suggested in the book and my Vibram shoes have brought my running to a whole new level. Now, I know I talked before about my transformation into a "hippie." The Chi Running book was very focus-on-your-"center"-oriented. As I read through it, I consciously replaced all the "focus on self" references to "focus on God." In this past week of running, I think I have experienced God more than in the last 6 months combined. Maybe it's the beautiful weather. Maybe it's the quiet time I have when I run up and down our driveway seeing this view:

...while the girls nap and the boys entertain themselves on the property. Maybe it's merely the fact that I am consciously focusing on the amazing beauty around me as I run. When I run now, at least when I'm by myself, I just listen. I listen to the birds, the tall grass blowing in the wind, crickets, my feet hitting the gravel. No music, no arguing kids, no demands being placed on me. And I'm almost certain that I can actually hear God's presence around me. Is that possible? I don't think Mr. Chi Running necessarily intended for my relationship with God to be catapulted to a whole new level, but that has been the unintended side affect.

I am amazed I've gone my whole life without truly experiencing God this way. I mean, I've been close with Him for some time now. He's been the "center" of my life for over a dozen years, but this? This is something new, and fresh, and thoroughly divine. I wish I had the gumption to shout it out on the rooftops, but I think this is the closest I'm going to get to that right now.

I highly recommend it. Getting outside and experiencing God, that is. If you're not in the country, take a little drive. Find some deserted place, park your car, and just listen. Or, even better, take a run {or walk}to that special spot. He may not shout something out to you directly, but the sounds of His creation will surely stun you.

My Weaknesses...According to My Kids

2011-01-16T20:02:00.000-08:00

I try to be a good mom. I try to have fun with the kids, not take life too seriously, ya know...all that stuff. I often feel, though, that I'm just constantly disciplining. "You GUYS! STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER!" "Hey! Why is the bathroom floor wet?!" (That's pretty much a rhetorical question.) "Who broke (insert word)?!" As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I wondered what my kids think of me. I mean, I've never really asked them.

So, all day today I was waiting for the right opportunity to talk to the boys. I had this whole conversation planned. Finally, it's almost bed time for the boys, and I'm ready to talk to them individually. I call J-Man into our room first. I say, "J-Man, I've been thinking about what I can do better as a mom, and I was wondering if you have any suggestions on what I could do to do a better job?" He thinks for a minute...and another minute. I say, "It's ok, my feelings won't be hurt." He looks at me and says, "Letting us stay up late?"

Hmmm...not exactly what I was thinking. I asked him if he could think of anything else, and he said, "Yeah, you could do more math with us after Papa is done teaching us math." Ok, still not really what I was looking for, but I didn't want to dig something out that wasn't there.

M-Dog was next. I posed the same question to him, and he said, "You could clean more." I kind of wanted to say, "Yeah? So could you!" But I didn't. I said, "All right. Is there anything you think I could clean better?" He told me I should mop more. Touche. Mopping isn't my strong suit. I thought having the kids walk around with wet rags on their feet was sufficient, but apparently it's something that a mom needs to do.

Mr. C came in last. He spouted off a bunch of things, including, "No spankings...EVER!" "No room time!" "No more Chum Bucket!" (You can read about that HERE.) He finally ended by saying, "Um, let me think about it."

So, I didn't come away with any deep, thoughtful corrections from my kids. I was kind of hoping they would have some things for me to work on, but I suppose I should enjoy it while it lasts. In a few more years, they'll be teenagers, and then I'm sure I'll be begging for some grace.

To be quite honest, I really thought I would hear something like, "Don't tell us to stop doing things so much." "Be nicer." "Give me food whenever I want instead of 'closing the kitchen' after a certain time." "Don't be so strict." I guess it made me realize that they're not as critical of me as I am of me. I don't think they go to bed at night thinking, "Man, I wish my mom would just lighten up and quit nagging me." As least, not for now. So, I feel a bit encouraged.

P.S. I have a dear friend who is in the retirement phase of his life. Help him out and hop on over to his blog. Find him interesting? Go ahead and click "follow!" Don't find him interesting? Click "follow" anyway! The poor man is in the 2nd half of his life. In all seriousness, though, his insights on the retirement years are truly inspiring, and provide me with a little peek into what life may have in store for me a few years from now...

Chicken Slaughter: Take Two

2011-01-15T10:57:00.000-08:00

We had a psycho chicken. Actually, I think she was just sick, and may have been missing a part of her tiny little chicken brain that should have told her to eat. The poor thing would stand in the same spot all day, while all the other chickens were out gallivanting around the property digging up worms and bugs and laying eggs. Even Captain Underpants (the rooster) didn't want to mate with her. And that means something. He is a male, after all.

The last time we slaughtered a chicken, we chopped the head off since we had no idea what we were doing, and it seemed the easiest, swiftest way to accomplish the task.

I've done lots of research since then, read a number of books and watched instructional videos online, and it seems that although there are differing opinions, hanging the chicken upside-down in a killing cone and slicing the throat (I know it sounds horrible) is actually just as humane and supposedly makes for less-tough meat.

So, I finally ordered my killing cone, and it came in the mail yesterday. It was time to put psycho-chicken out of her misery. We didn't really want to eat her since we didn't know if she had a disease, so we decided to use her as an anatomy lesson for the kids. Homeschooling at its best!

Here is the slaughtering area. It actually worked out great. I don't know that the previous owner of this property intended for it to be used for this, but it was as if it was made just for me!

Before we slaughtered her, we gathered all the kids around and talked to them about why we were doing what we were doing. We explained that this chicken was one of God's loved creation, and that she was suffering and most likely in pain. We shared that it is our responsibility as her caregivers to ensure that she is not suffering if she doesn't need to be. They had all seen the miserable life she'd been living, and agreed that she was not a happy chicken. We made sure they understood that we respected her, and thanked the Lord for creating such a wonderful creature. I told them we were going to dissect her to see if we could see what was going on in her little body, and to see what the organs of a chicken look like. So, with that, I went ahead and put her in the killing cone.

Unfortunately, she was a small chicken, and so she kept sliding around in the cone. Her feet stuck out of the bottom instead of her head. Hmmm...don't think that's how it was supposed to be. Superman helped re-position her, and then he took over the video responsibilities so we could have the kids' first chicken slaughtering experience on video. I slit her throat (with my brand new pinning knife--incredibly sharp!), and it only took a swipe or two, and she was bleeding out. I thought she was gone, so I let go, but that was probably a mistake. She started flopping around, and flopped right out of the cone, all the way across the slaughtering area, and right into the trash can! I guess she knew where she was headed in the end.

After a few minutes, I took her out, cut her head off, and dropped her into a pot of scalding water for about 30 seconds. Her feathers came right off, and all the kids helped pluck her.

In the end, the kids all seemed intrigued and honestly interested in learning about the different parts of her body. They weren't scared or crying or scarred. It was a great learning experience for all of us, and a really good reminder of just what goes into preparing the meat we just pick up from the store, nicely packaged and covered in plastic. Maybe not the way everyone wants to spend their Saturday morning, though. If there was any doubt in my mind whether I have fully converted to being a Country Girl, that is now vanished. I felt completely in my element and although I didn't enjoy the actual killing of the chicken, I believe it was necessary and justified.

P.S. My new cowgirl hat is probably what completed my conversion.

Chi Running

2011-01-14T11:32:00.000-08:00

So I really enjoy running. After a good run, I can come back feeling like I can conquer the world. And I'm only exaggerating a little. I really do feel like I'm invincible after running down the road, feeling the breeze on my face and seeing the beautiful scenery around me. As long as I feel good. Sometimes I finish a run, and my legs are tired, I'm mentally foggy and I just don't have that "euphoric" feeling. Other times, I'm pretty sure I'm Usain Bolt.

I've been on a journey to discover what makes my {running} clock tick. What makes me feel like I could run a marathon some days, and barely run to my front door other days?

Since going Paleo, my energy level has increased dramatically. I notice my mental clarity, enthusiasm, parenting abilities {a.k.a. patience} and enjoyment of running have improved tenfold. I feel like I've gained back years of my life. But I'm not a runner. I mean, I'm 1/2 Indian, 1/2 white, and I don't think I have a runner's gene in my body. But I think I could be (a runner, that is). Mentally, I think my running has improved. Physically? Not sure yet.

I've started to focus on my form when running, instead of just going, oblivious to the signals my body is sending me. My Vibram 5 Finger shoes have forced me to feel the way I run. And I've noticed that my form needs some improvement.

Some running friends of mine recommended the book, "Chi Running," and I decided that since I'm already going down the "all natural" path, I would go ahead and take a looksy. I'm only a few chapters into it, so I have nothing to say pro or con about it yet, but I hope to soon. Tomorrow I'll be running with some friends, and I'll be applying a few techniques I've learned in the book. According to the author, it's all about focusing on your core during running, and allowing your limbs to follow suit. Who knows? Maybe I'll glide effortlessly across the pavement and end my run feeling like I want to keep going and going. I may even end up on your doorstep.

I'll let you know what I think in a few weeks. If you come to my house and see me doing some of this:

...you'll know I'm liking it.

A disclaimer

2011-01-08T19:08:00.000-08:00

So I think my last post made some people think I'm falling off the conservative bandwagon and becoming a downright liberal. =) I feel like it's my duty to clarify:

*I'm still a follower of Jesus, constantly striving to be closer to Him and living my life in a way that would make Him proud.

*I'm 100% pro-life, a firm believer in the unborn child's right to life.

*I believe we, as Christians, are called to minister to the orphans and the widows and that we should be taking seriously that call.

*I'm fiscally conservative when it comes to taxes and don't really want the government taking more of our money.

*I still believe that less government is more better (I know, that's not the correct grammar, but I liked it more better that way)

*I think competition is a good thing, and that it inspires companies and people to perform better and provide better products to the public.

Ultimately, God has given us this earth to live on, and I think it is our responsibility to care for it. We don't need to be genetically modifying things so that we can make them how we want them. I think God made them perfectly already. Jeremiah 2:7 says, "I brought you into a fertile land to eat its fruit and rich produce. But you came and defiled my land and made my inheritance detestable." I want to make sure we are taking care of the bountiful creation He gave us, and not defiling it in any way.

So, yes, I have been hippie-ized a bit. But there are certain non-negotiables that are convictions in my heart. These are things I hope to teach our kids by example, things that I hope they will carry in their own hearts when they grow old. You can keep big government, but I'll take connecting with nature and rejoicing in His amazing glory!

I'm turning into a Hippie.

2011-01-08T14:13:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I considered myself a staunch conservative. Big business? Yay for the American dream! Food allergies? What a crock! Holistic doctors? Pshaw!

These last few years have truly shown me the meaning of "older and wiser." Of course, I'm by no means old...I hope that I'm merely a 1/3 of the way done with my life. Only the Lord knows, though. It's just that as each year goes by, I seem to gain insights I never expected.

I have become a hardcore supporter of locally-grown, sustainable, organic foods. The closer the food is grown to my house, the better. Grass fed beef? Yes PLEASE. Superman's trials with food allergies and the incredible incompetence of the "conventional" medical system (in our experience) has pushed us toward alternative medicine. I do believe there is a place for conventional medicine, however, and I am more than happy to utilize our traditional doctors when we feel they are the best solution.

I used to think that people with food allergies were a bit...eccentric. Surely, it must be in their heads. How in the world could someone be so allergic to peanuts that it seemingly ruins their life? Why is it that when I was growing up, I didn't know anyone with food allergies, and now they seem rampant? By the way, I have my own theories about that, but it would take a whole other post...it involves genetic modification of foods and a host of other things (see?? I sound like a crazy person!)

I've eliminated any processed food from our diets. I got new running kicks that simulate running barefoot:

Before I know it, I'll have hair growing out of my armpits and body odor and will sit on our front porch with a certain type of greenery rolled up in a Zig Zag smoking away. OK, I wouldn't actually smoke a joint. Those who know me know I had enough {unwanted} experience growing up with that stuff.

In all seriousness, I feel like I've crossed some sort of "grown up" threshold. It's like, little by little, my eyes are opened to the possibility that I actually don't know everything, and my view on things is just that: my view. Why is it that we can't see that when we're younger? Why, as teenagers, do we know, without a doubt, that we truly know best? Obviously, the Lord intended things this way. Each experience we have, every person we encounter, every tragedy that hits our lives...they all expand our world view.

I'm thankful that my world view has expanded. Even if I am becoming a hippie.

New Year's GOALS

2011-01-01T08:23:00.000-08:00

Hey, look! I'm actually updating my blog just a day after my last post!

I like to say "goals" rather than "resolutions" because it makes me feel more like I'm working toward something. For me, a "resolution" carries the stereotype of aiming for something I most likely won't reach. But a goal? That's something I can accomplish. I know, it's all in my head, but whatever.

So I worked on my three main goals for the year last night, and the kids all (except Miss G) came up with some goals of their own. Here are mine:

Spiritual: Memorize a verse a week with the kids (at least during the school year).

Physical: Complete another 1/2 marathon, but if my body doesn't hold up during training, complete a 10k in 55 minutes or less.

Social: Accomplish my "2 letters per month" goal from last year and pull off at least two successful adoption events at our church.

Mr. C's goals:

1. Find bugs around our property

2. Copy down a page of the Bible every day

J-Man:

1. See God's creation more

2. Pray every night

M-Dog:

1. Help mommy with the dishes more

2. Read my Bible more

1. Be good and not break things so that Nana and Papa give us toys for Christmas next year!*

*I thought this was so funny. Superman's parents decided to not give the kids toys this year because they often get SO much, and being that we have so many small kids, things are constantly being broken. We told the kids they are too rough on their toys and that they don't appreciate the stuff they already have, so they really didn't deserve any new toys. So in lieu of gifts, Papa is going to take each of the boys twice to the snow to their favorite snow-place, "Planet Kids." I thought it was a great idea. Apparently N missed getting toys! Hmmm...wonder what this year will bring??

New Foods, New Things, New Year!

2010-12-31T19:15:00.000-08:00

So I just went back and looked at my blog post from last year at this time, and here are what my 2010 goals were:

Spiritual: Family devotionals every week night. Superman usually does a "quiet time" with the kids every couple days, but I'd like to see that more consistent. Right now the kids are assigned days to pray at meals (Monday is Mr. C, Tuesday is J-Man, etc), so on their days they'll also pick what Bible story we are going to focus on in the evening.

Physical: Finish running a 5K in under 27 minutes, and finish a 10K in under 55 minutes.

Life in general: Start writing letters again. I mean, e-mail is great and all, but there's something exhilarating about getting an unexpected note in the mail. My goal is to send out 2 letters per month.

I'm happy to say that I actually {pretty much} met my goals! Although we didn't do devotions every night, we have done them pretty much every weekday morning during the school year. I didn't run an actual 5K race in under 27 minutes, but I did do 5K on the treadmill in that time! And, I didn't quite meet the 2 letters per month quota, but I would say I averaged about one per month. Pretty good, I think.

These past few months have been exciting around our house. Superman has been working his little tail off to get things done on the farm--cutting up downed trees and brush, clearing MUCH unwanted shrubbery, putting up fences and building a pig pen for our 2 new pigs, Tasty and Yummy:

I have 30 chickens coming at the end of January (sooooo needed since we go through more than 75 eggs a week in our house!), and as part of my Christmas gift, Superman is going to get my coop up-and-running for all my little sweet chicks. We're hoping to get a few cows, pygmy goats and sheep in 2011.

We had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas, and really enjoyed the family time over the breaks. I have to say, it's pretty much the best having a teacher as a husband. He's home with us 1/2 the year! The kids don't yet realize just how blessed they are.

So after my discouraged post awhile back about Superman's dietary restrictions, I was referred by a friend to the book "The Paleo Solution" by Robb Wolf. It talks all about the decline in health of our nation and promotes eating a "Pre-agrarian" diet (I really don't like using that word...I prefer "lifestyle" or something similar) of meats, fruits, nuts, seeds, and veggies. I decided since Superman already pretty much had to eat that way, I would attempt it and see how I felt. I had already cut out dairy for a month and was feeling quite a big improvement in my joint pain in the mornings, and figured I had nothing to lose. So, I completely re-vamped our eating habits, and I cannot believe what a huge change it has made in my life! It's been two months now, and my joint pain is virtually gone. I am much more even-keeled, rarely getting the dreaded "afternoon slump." I feel more energetic, clear-headed and just physically younger than I have in, well, frankly, as far back as I can remember. And on a side note for the ladies (if you're of the male sex, you may want to skip to the next paragraph...), my cycles are regular for the first time in at least 12 years!

So, I have no desire to go back to my "old way" of eating. I decided to splurge on Christmas and went ahead and indulged in a few rolls and some pasta. Boy oh boy did I feel it the next morning! I woke up as stiff as I had been just a few months back. That in itself was encouragement enough for me to continue on. I rarely miss the old foods, as I've come across so many great blogs with yummy recipes. Our kids are all healthier, Superman is feeling great, and I feel better than I have since pre-adolescence. I highly recommend trying this if you have physical ailments you can't seem to shake! I truly don't feel it's a "diet," more of a way of life. I just don't have the desire to put my body through that physical stress if I don't need to.

Well, this post is getting a bit long. I suppose I should break for now. I hope to update in the next few days with my goals for 2011...but don't hold your breath. I think I said I was going to try to update regularly on my last post, and that was over two months ago. Sorry!

Food Allergies and Discouragement

2010-10-26T13:21:00.000-07:00

Some of you may remember my post awhile back about Superman's diagnosis of Celiac Disease. His life has improved dramatically since he cut gluten out of his diet...he's gained 20 pounds (which was very needed!) and feels so much better. But still not better. He continues to have issues that plague him. And it's discouraging. I know how discouraging it is to me, and I have to multiply that multiple times to get to the angst he feels.

He recently went to a doctor, well, actually, a chiropractor who came highly recommended by a colleague. This colleague's son was plagued by many symptoms like Superman, and after exhausting all the conventional medical avenues, decided to try the "naturalistic" path. We have, I'm somewhat ashamed to admit, always turned our nose at the "natural" remedies found in unconventional medicine. Maybe because neither of us have really been exposed to it before...I don't know. At any rate, to make a long story short, this doctor says Superman is sensitive to corn, dairy and soy as well as incapable of processing wheat. Wow. If it's true, it'll explain why he just hasn't felt healed yet...but I must admit, I'm a bit skeptical.

With this news comes new responsibility for me...I'm the one who has to feed Superman; it's in my job description. And as much as I'd like to just say, "Well, you're on your own..." I have to find meals that the kids and I can enjoy that will also be edible for him.

To be quite honest, I feel overwhelmed. I have a hard enough time thinking of something to make for each meal when there are no diet restrictions. Coming up with new ides that don't have any of those ingredients is going to be, well, a challenge. I think I said before I like a good challenge every now and then. Well, I don't think I'm really on board with this one yet.

I feel bad complaining. I mean, it could be so so so much worse. And it's not. But still, this is my reality, and it is hard for me not to be a bit discouraged by it. This coupled with the fact that our kids have been pushing me to the edge of sanity this past week...I've completely fallen off the "no sugar" wagon and resorted to replacing almost all my meals with sugar. I'm not exaggerating, either. This past week, I have barely eaten anything of substance. I've eaten plenty of chocolate, cookies, tootsie rolls, and any other sweets I can get my hands on, though. I feel stressed.

I think my mood could be the dictionary definition of the word "slump." It irritates me that I feel that way. Here I am, living in my dream world on property...our kids are healthy...our roof didn't leak when it rained over the weekend...there's a fire crackling in the stove...I'm making a pumpkin pie from scratch (whoops! More sugar...). What in the world do I have to complain about? Sigh.

I suppose we're all allowed a few "off" days every now and then. I think I'm just ready to be back "on."

Changing the Title of My Blog...

2010-10-12T14:58:00.001-07:00

Seeing that my life has evolved into much more than solely adoption, I've decided to update the title of my blog.

Superman has been calling me "Country Wife" to remind me that I'm not responsible for all the manual labor that needs to be done on our property. Believe it or not, it's actually hard for me to stay inside and cook food or wash dishes when I know everyone else is outside lugging brush or working on a project.

So, I figured I would throw that term into my new title. I'm hoping I'll be able to update more often now that we're "settled" ("settled" is a relative term, right?) into our home. Hope you'll come along for the ride!

Time's Still Not Standing Still, But I Feel Compelled To Update...

2010-10-11T13:24:00.000-07:00

I'm officially a country wife. I've tossed out a dead chicken, listened to {hundreds} of rats run wildly in our sub-floor (and then become used to the decaying smell of their flesh...), pick-axed a garden, hauled branches, and hiked through Yellow Star Thistle wearing my oh-so-wonderful Muck Boots. I've cut the head off a {small} snake, taken a cold shower (not by choice), started a fire in a wood stove all by myself, and learned to tune out the 5 a.m. rooster calls {yawn}.

I've watched llamas mate. And turkeys. And chickens. I've hurriedly ran to my car while it's dark, wondering what that sound was in the bushes. I've fulfilled a life-long dream of ringing a dinner bell and yelling, "Cooooooooommmmmmmmmme and gettttttttt ittttttttt!"

I've learned that dirt is not going to kill anyone; in fact, it just might make the day of a cranky toddler.

I've roasted marshmallows. On a Tuesday. Just because we can (and it feels like we're camping every time, no matter how many times we do it). I've gone on hikes on land we call our own and marveled at the beauty of God's creation just by looking out our front window. I've stood at the top of our driveway and thought, "How in the world did I get so lucky that the Lord blessed me with this amazing life?"

I've realized there will never be a shortage of projects. We will always have something to work on. And most importantly, I've re-learned that this life is so short, and we just never know when it can change drastically.

Yesterday, my father-in-law (who I have considered my own "dad" since Superman and I started dating) was in a freak accident. While helping Superman haul some branches with the tractor, one branch became stuck on a tree, and the tractor flipped over on top of him. I was inside the house when it happened, so Superman had to re-tell the story to me. Suffice it to say, he was sure his time on this earth with his dad was about to be over. It was nothing short of a miracle that saved my father-in-law from certain death. It's amazing he walked away with a broken rib and some bruises, and kept his life.

And it reminded me just how fragile we are. Had that spinning wheel gone one inch further, I would be helping to plan a funeral instead of worrying about my broken dryer or what I'm going to make for dinner.

And so, friends, that is a brief recap of what has been going on at our little farm. We've been here one month, and it has been an exhausting, thrilling, life-altering, amazing experience so far. I can't imagine what excitement the Lord has planned for our future...but I'll just hitch up my britches and jump right in!

News Break: Blog is taking a back seat...

2010-08-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

As if you hadn't already noticed, this blog is taking a back seat to other things in my life...

This summer has flown by, and Monday Superman goes back to work, and I go back to being a teacher to our kids.

I just re-read THIS post about things that hinder me. I wrote about how we felt conflicted spending money on our own kids when there are so many other children out there in need. After much praying and contemplative thought, we (Superman and I) came to the conclusion that right now, these kids are our ministry. We can't help every child in need, but we can help the ones the Lord gave us. We didn't have to adopt. We (as far as we know) could have just had biological kids and called it even. But we knew the Lord's will for our lives involved us bringing in kids who otherwise would live in unstable situations. That is our calling. Not everyone's. And so, that is where our life is right now. I don't feel guilty for not plugging into every ministry at church or not saying "yes" every time someone asks for help. My priority right now is to take care of these kids. In 11 short years, Mr. C will be leaving the nest. Which means we have 11 short years to make as much of an impact on his life as possible. And the same goes for our other four little ones. Time is short, and we only have one chance with them. So I plan on seizing this opportunity and making the most of their childhood.

Now, that doesn't mean I want to spoil them. Quite the contrary. But I do want to give them opportunities to find their passions. I want to help them discover the gifts the Lord has given them, and help them to find what it is they want to do with their lives. And part of that is something I am so excited about! You may remember a post awhile back (I can't seem to find it, though...) about how I longed for some land to raise some animals on, to olok out and see nothing but God's creation and just be a country girl. The Lord truly knows the desires of my heart, and it seems that it is in His will for us to raise our kids in the country. We're in escrow right now on a beautiful piece of property: 10 acres! The house is absolutely nothing to be excited about. As a matter of fact, we'll be losing 2 bedrooms and a bathroom...and the house is manufactured. But the land...oh, the land! I'm in love. This photo really doesn't do it justice. Just being out there, hearing the roosters crowing in the distance, watching the llamas grazing next door, seeing lizards scurrying everywhere...it feels like...home.

And so, my poor little blog is going to go by the wayside indefinitely until, well, frankly, until there's more time in the day. These next few weeks will be filled with packing, teaching, packing, teaching, and calling a gazillion different places to update our address. At some point I'll be back on here, but in the meantime, enjoy your kids, seize your "moment" with them, and don't stress about the little things!

See you on the flip side!

Apathetic

2010-07-22T08:18:00.000-07:00

I'm not normally the type to be apathetic. As a matter of fact, I am rarely lukewarm about life. I find joy in many things...our kids, our home, our church, my marriage. I have much to be grateful for, and much to appreciate. But the last few months I have found myself on a bit of a downward emotional slant. You know when your're going down a slide with shorts on a hot day and your legs kinda stick so you don't go flying down? That's kinda how I feel. Not like I'm on a big roller coaster of emotions, but that I'm just kind of slipping downward a bit. I've been exhausted. That could be related to the five children running mad around our house and constantly needing attention. Or, it could be something else.

The other night as I was reading my Bible, I got to thinking about where I'm at in my relationship with God. I realized that maybe the melancholy I am feeling should be attributed to my stagnant faith life right now. I think I may have slipped into complacency. During the school year, I am involved in an inductive Bible study that keeps me digging through scripture for answers and seeking out a deeper relationship with the Lord. I am balancing schooling and cooking and cleaning and being a wife and a mom with my number one priority...God. But this summer has been nothing but enjoyment with my family. That's not a bad thing, though. I mean, how many people would do just about anything to have a husband home for 2 months and loads of fun activities planned all summer long? We've been thoroughly enjoying the time off. But what did I do with the Lord? I'm ashamed to admit I have fallen into the trap of "bare bones." I read my Bible each night, but then what? I'm not stretching my faith. I'm not actively seeking Him out throughout the day. I'm not being persecuted or forced into deepening my faith.

Yesterday after I told Superman how I was feeling, he insisted that I hide for 30 minutes and spend some quality time with God. That was in the morning...all day things came up. The kids needed tending to, dishes needed to be washed (or the pile would quickly grow into a mountain), laundry needed to be done, we had errands to run. Finally, almost at bed time, he forced me into our room and told me not to come out for a 1/2 hour.

I sat there staring at the wall for the first five minutes. I flipped through my Bible, trying to find something applicable to how I was feeling. I went to the back and looked up all the verses related to "discouragement," "faith," "separation" and "God's love." Nothing was really hitting home for me. I put my Bible down and decided to write out a prayer to the Lord. I laid it all out...I apologized for my selfishness and for letting my worldly responsibilities take over my life. And I begged Him to draw me close so I could feel that same fire I often feel when I am right in my walk with Him.

It was nice. I think I realized just how much life's responsibilities can interfere with my relationship with God. Now, I just need to remember how to put my daily tasks onto the back burner and deepening my relationship with Him to the front. I think it's time for me to make a change.

Chicken Little {{Graphic}}, My birthday, and 12 years of wedded bliss

2010-07-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

So once again, two weeks has gone by and I'm not sure how. There's been lots of activity around here...

As promised, here is a visual account of our adventurous chicken slaughter a few weeks back.
My brother and I really had no idea what we were doing. We watched some tutorials online, but there's no real understanding until you've actually done the deed.

We were a bit worried that he wouldn't get the head cut off with one swoop, but in the end, he did a great job...

I just couldn't keep my eyes open. It's like how eyes automatically shut when you sneeze...it was just an automatic reflex. But, as you can see, he cut clean through!

People always use the term "running around like a chicken with its head cut off," but I really underestimated just how much she would be flopping around. She was flopping so much I couldn't hold her down and had to take off running!

Yes, she made it all the way over there all by herself...and with no head, to boot!

Airborne!

Finally done.

Draining.

Placing her into a scalding bath to loosen the feathers.

She was only supposed to be in there for 90 seconds, but it ended up being close to 3 minutes...I think that may have played a role in the toughness of the meat.

Plucking the feathers was actually quite a bit easier than I thought!

All the icky stuff.

My bro with his finished product:

Aw, she was a good little chicken...

My 32nd birthday was on July 1st.

We spent the morning picking blackberries and got $1 large sodas (which our kids never get!) at McDonald's.

Miss G just got water. Shh, she doesn't know!

My running partners gave me a gift certificate to a local cupcake shop. You know what these are? ROOT BEER FLOAT cupcakes! I kid you not. Seriously divine. I threw my "no sugar" vow out the window for my birthday. I figured I'd enjoy it while I could.

Superman's grandparents were really generous and gave me some spending money for my birthday. I decided to get a food dehydrator with some of the dough, and it's my new best friend (aside from my Kindle). =) We've dried some plums, and I'm making plum/blackberry fruit rolls as I type.

Kids eat free at Carrows every day for the summer, so we decided to go out one night. You get one free kids meal for every adult entree purchased, so Mr. C decided to draw a mustache on himself so he could pass as a grown up. It must have worked, because the waitress didn't even question us. He is pretty convincing, afterall...

And being that yesterday was 7/11, it was free Slurpee day at 7-11. It's become a tradition that every year for our anniversary (which just happens to fall on that day), we really splurge and go get the whole family free Slurpees. Mmmm....watermelon.

I'm really excited about a speaker who we are flying out to speak to our adoption network in November. I'll share more about her next week!

Preparing dinner and giveaway results!

2010-06-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

First off, sorry for not drawing a name on Friday. My bro and his family are out here visiting from Idaho and our days have been full of fun-ness and activity.

Friday we butchered our no-longer-laying hen. We were slaughtering virgins, but we are no more. It was quite the experience. I think the fact that she wasn't a meat chicken and was a year-and-a-half old made from some tough chicken. It was more like chicken jerky. And oh, the term "running around like a chicken with her head cut off" is really just barely an exaggeration. That girl was practically chasing me without her head on. It may not have been actual running, but it was definitely aggressively flopping. My bro was actually the one to cut her head off. Nothing like some good ol' family bonding! I'll be posting pics soon.

And now, the results of the giveaway (Superman helped me out):

Congratulations, Essie! Just send me your e-mail address and I'll send you your Amazon gift!

Life Flies By, So I'll Do A Giveaway!

2010-06-21T07:32:00.001-07:00

Superman has already been on summer break for two weeks. Tell me, how did that happen? I think having kids makes time go faster. And I really mean that. There must be some sort of crazy quantum physics/time warp thing going on. Because I'm sure that the last two weeks have only been two days.

At any rate, since we just had a time warp, I've missed blogging for a few weeks.
Superman and I had an incredible trip to San Francisco to celebrate our upcoming 12th anniversary. It's amazing what a little over 24 hours away from children can do for the soul.

We saw "Wicked" and even though Superman was asking if we could leave early before we even sat down, he ended up really liking it!

We took a tour of 'Cisco on Segways. Seriously worth the $70/person. It was probably one of the most fun outings we've done together. I was a little worried that my uncoordinated self would fall off {ungracefully}, but I made it through without any incidents.

We walked Fisherman's Wharf and hung out at Union Square and just really enjoyed each others' company.

Mr. C was the proud owner of our family's first black eye. He got a good shiner after running full speed ahead into a metal gun that shoots balls out at a birthday party.

I mean, really, is that not the prettiest shade of purple you ever did see?

Mr. C was pretty proud of his eye for a few days, but he got a little tired of everyone asking what happened. Luckily, he had his seventh birthday to look forward to! Can't believe he's already 7...

We celebrated the first day of summer vacation by doing...what else? Eating!

We spent all last week at our church's Vacation Bible School. There were over 800 kids there, and Superman and I were in charge of handing out Otter Pops. I don't think I need to cut anymore wrappers any time soon...although I do have quite the system down. The kids had a blast.

And Father's Day was a success at our home. The boys made daddy a card that truly spoke to his heart:

...And I gave him a mandarin tree to plant since his last one was a casualty of a big wind storm a few months ago. I did, however, make sure he knew that I loved him by displaying my undying affection for him on myself:

I finished reading "In Defense of Food" and "Farm City." The latter of which, I must say, is now one of my favorites.

And so, that brings me to my giveaway! After being gone from my poor little blog for a few weeks, I noticed I've passed the "50 followers" mark! Amazon has become my new co-best friend (shared with my Kindle). I wanted to share a little of that love. To celebrate, I'm giving away a $20 gift card for Amazon.com!

Just leave me a comment and you're entered! I'll be drawing a name on Friday.

The Organic {summer} Life

2010-06-01T07:14:00.000-07:00

This past week has been filled with a hint of summer. The weather has been pretty much anything but summer, yet our family life has been filled with the lazy, work-in-the-yard, fruit-and-ice-cream joys of the hot season.

We recently acquired one of the coolest free things I have ever received:

Our kids have since been constantly dreaming up wars, having secret meetings and even shooting BB guns (with daddy, of course) from the window of the fort, popping perfectly-placed water balloons.

We wrapped up school for the year, and celebrated with face painting, doughnuts, and a delicious cheese pizza from the Whole Foods cafe. The kids frolicked in the warm sun that happened to be peeking through the clouds that day and thoroughly enjoyed racing on scooters and helping me tend to our slowly-growing tomatoes.

M-Dog was stung by this icky-looking bee. We made sure to give it a proper burial...into the bottom of my shoe. I know, I know...don't alert PETA. The bee started it.

I've been on an organic kick lately. Although the more books I read, the less likely I feel that it's just a "kick." My Kindle has taken over my free time, beckoning me to read, read, read. I suppose it's not a bad thing, although Superman may start to get jealous if I continue on with this fervor for an inanimate object.

I've finished "Fast Food Nation," "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle," and just started "The Omnivore's Dilemma." I'm sure my fellow conservatives are clenching their nervous fists as I liberalize my mind. =)

All this reading about what I am putting into my body (and the bodies of the little munchkins running around our house) has really made me more aware. It's actually been an exciting challenge to eat as much locally-grown, organic food as possible. We joined a CSA for this month, picking up a weekly box of fruits and vegetables; grown so close, they're practically in our back yard. I'm embarrassed to admit that the past few weeks, I have cooked Kale, Pea Shoots, Chard, Arugula and a host of other produce I have never even eaten. But it's been nothing short of enlightening. This morning I picked up this week's box and was giddy as a dog waiting for its puppy chow while I opened it. You see, each week is a surprise. And this was what I saw when I carefully pulled each fresh, crisp item out:

So surprisingly delicious!

On the adoption front, we are thoroughly enjoying the joys of being a completed family. And the further we get away from the day we signed papers, the more I forget about the uncertainties of life before.

Four more days of work for Superman, and then he joins the rest of us at home for more than two months. Oh, summer, how I squirm for you!

Newton's Apple and our Adoption Network Kickoff

2010-05-24T12:16:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, Mr. C asked me why the sky is blue. I gave him a brief explanation as best I could, but decided to look online for any great videos for kids that could explain it better than I.

I stumbled upon this great site: Newton's Apple

It's awesome! There are hundreds of short videos answering all sorts of science questions. It's become a regular part of our homeschooling day. The videos are usually around 5 minutes, so if I need to do something with one kid one-on-one, I'll ask the other kids what they want to learn more about, and let them watch. We use it at least 2-3 times a week. Check it out!

In other news, we kicked off the Adoption Network at our church last Saturday. We had a great turnout with over 100 people! I was so pleased with the way it went. We were lucky to have great volunteers who helped us pull it off, too. I'm so excited to see where this group heads!

So Superman and I are getting a few nights away next month! I've been fervently searching for something adventurous to do. We've narrowed it down to a few things: Moaning Caverns (thanks, Soni!) or a Balloon Ride over Napa Valley. Considering I am pretty much terrified of heights and think I'm being crushed if enclosed in a small space, I'm thinking that rappelling down into a dark abyss may not be the best choice for me...

Of course, being pulled into the air by a BALLOON that has fire holding it up probably isn't the most logical choice, either. But, Superman and I did go parasailing once and it was by far one of my favorite experiences. After I threw up, I was good to go. What do you think we should do?

Interrupting my regularly scheduled break...

2010-05-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

...to talk about how wonderful it is to be done with the adoption process!

May 17th was a greatly anticipated day in our house. I mean, we didn't know until about a month ago what our finalization date would be, but we often dreamed about the day we would be finished with the process.

Monday morning I woke up and couldn't wait to get to the courthouse. We {amazingly} got out the door by 7:20 a.m. with 5 kids, all clean and hair brushed. They even had clothes AND shoes on. And, they had all eaten. Tell me that isn't impressive?

We got there at just the right time...got right through security and only had to wait a few minutes before we were called back to the judge's chambers. We had so much family there that we didn't go back to his office, but were out in the court room. It was wonderful. I can't even put into words the joy I felt when he announced he was terminating G's dependency on the court and signing her off as "our child." I cried a bit, but a lot less than I thought I was going to.

It was all over within about 15 minutes, and we all went and had hot cocoa afterwards. It was a perfect day for it--cool and overcast. We came home and just enjoyed our day. It still hasn't really sunk in yet...maybe after a month's worth of social worker's visits passes and no one shows up. Or maybe after G falls down and gets a bruise and I don't have to e-mail anyone to let them know. Or maybe when we want to go on vacation and I don't have to tell anyone where we're going and when we'll be back. Or maybe when I take her to the doctor and don't have to get a form filled out and sent back to the adoption agency. Ah, so many freedoms!

I'm just so thankful for our sweet girl and so happy to be done. Done. Done. Done. DONE!

Introducing...

2010-05-17T11:12:00.000-07:00

Miss G! OUR daughter. =)

And all the kiddos together.

What an awesome day!

I'm in love, love, love...

2010-05-10T13:03:00.001-07:00

I have a new friend. My friend and I have been spending blissful amounts of time together these past few days. It's been a sheer joy getting to know him? Her? It? I think it's all three wrapped in one.

I've been saving up for a luxury item for a few months. And I really mean that. This is no dire necessity...it is purely something I have just wanted and have no legitimate reason to buy other than that I think it may enrich my life in certain ways. Really, I do.

Alas, I was still a few months away from having enough money for this luxury item. So last week, I asked Superman if he already had plans for Mother's Day. He said, "Of course I have something planned! {Insert short pause}...Why? Did you have something in mind?" I think I sensed a bit of hopefulness in his voice...perhaps he knew I would be presenting him with an idea that would allow him to be "off the hook" and at the same time allow me to be happy and content with my Mother's Day.

I asked him if he'd like to sport me the rest of the money I needed for my new friend to come into my life. He willingly and enthusiastically agreed, and I proceeded to run to our computer to order my new friend...

Ah, the Kindle. A brilliant invention able to hold what seems like an endless supply of books.

We are still in the honeymoon phase.

My heart leaps at the thought of curling up and reading with this new dear friend of mine.

I am thoroughly enjoying this gift!

For all you moms, I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day and were able to be pampered a bit!

Stream of Consciousness...

2010-05-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

First off, J-Man has graduated to the land of missing teeth. He lost his first one on Saturday after what seems like a year of it being loose. The tooth fairy was generous and left something she knew Josh would appreciate--a new CD. She made sure to let him know that the first lost tooth is special, and not to expect such an extravagant gift every time. I dunno...there's just something about that first tooth to me...ahem, I mean, the Tooth Fairy. Like it's a symbol of childish adulthood. Yeah, you read that right. Maybe I should coin that phrase, "childish adulthood."

Good thing she warned him that such awesome gifts aren't in his near future, since this morning, Mr. C "accidentally" kicked J-Man in the mouth (oh, did I say "accidentally"?) and knocked out his other hanging tooth.

Now, tooth #2 hangs safely in a Ziploc baggy on the cupboard...safe from little hands. Can anyone say, "25 cents?" What a let down for poor J-Man. I'm sure he'll survive.

Only 13 days until Miss G's finalization! I can't wait to share "real" pictures of her here. You won't be disappointed! She's a cutie, I tell you.

Planning for our Adoption Network Kickoff (check us out on Facebook here!) is going well so far. I've been learning a lot about the red tape involved in planning an event at a big church. If I would have known ahead of time, I probably would have picked a different venue; but I'm actually glad I've been able to see what goes into putting on such an event.

These past few weeks, I've finished reading "The Hole in Our Gospel" (highly recommended), and "Three Cups of Tea." I enjoyed the latter, but it was a bit long-winded for my taste. Right now I'm reading, "The Well-Trained Mind," and I can't say enough good things about this book So many moms (homeschooling and non-homeschooling) have recommended it to me, and I finally forced myself to get it. Soooo worth it.

I find myself reading tidbits of homeschooling books all day, and then at night settling in for some more. I fall asleep thinking "education," and dream about teaching our kids. It seems to have taken over my mind {temporarily}? Each kid has such a different way of learning, and figuring out how to meet each of his needs while not burning myself out has been, well, insightful. I am thoroughly enjoying teaching them, though. I truly feel like I am experiencing life with them, in a way I never felt when they were in school all day. It's exciting to see them progress, and knowing that I had some {small} part in that is wonderful.

13 days! 13 days! 13 days!

May 17th

2010-04-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

Oh, what a glorious day it will be!

God willing, on May 17, 2010 at 8:30 a.m. we will be summoned into the judge's chambers and will finalize Miss G's adoption. Finally!

I keep looking at G and thinking how much her birth family is missing by not having her in their lives. She is a beautiful, sweet, and perfect member of our family. It pains me to think of having my children taken away, raised by some stranger. Of course, I know her history. I know what her birth parents have done, and they are in no way fit to be parents of these woven-by-God children. They have had many, many chances, and to leave these kids in their care would be nothing short of a disaster.

I am so looking forward to completing our family...no more answering to social workers or adoption agencies, just raising our kids like "normal" parents!

In other news, I am so excited about a new adventure Superman and I are undertaking. We are starting an adoption network at our church! I can't believe that there are over 10,000 people who attend any given weekend, and there is no network for families who have adopted. I can't wait to see how the Lord works in this group, and how it grows over time. I have so many plans and ideas of where I would like to head...patience, I suppose. =) For those of you who are part of adoption groups, do you have any tips or words of advice for me? Right now I'm reading " The Adoption Network," by Laura Christianson. It's an excellent resource given to me by a friend--one I never even knew existed!

Homeschooling is going awesome. We are planning on wrapping up our school year the last Friday in May. Can't believe it's coming up so quickly!

Insights

2010-04-19T06:13:00.000-07:00

This week with no t.v. and VERY limited Internet has been insightful.

I've missed reading blogs and catching up on what people are doing on Facebook, though. Our laptop sits on a desk in our family room, so it's accessible and convenient. In order to ensure that I stay away from it, each morning (after I've checked e-mails and briefly checked in on my regular Web sites and such) I close the laptop and leave it that way until the girls are sleeping in the afternoon. I then pop it back open, quickly check e-mails, and do any Internet research that I need to get done, and close it back up until Superman gets home.

I've realized what a habit it was for me to just "pop on" the computer throughout the day. Because it is so convenient right here in the family room, I would check e-mails all day, check in on Facebook, and randomly search for answers on Google. Not having the computer readily available has forced me to engage with our kids when I would otherwise just let them continue on about their business. We did three jigsaw puzzles this week. And in doing that, I discovered that M-Dog is quite the little puzzle master! I never knew he was capable of doing actual jigsaw puzzles. Kind of sad.

Speaking of M-Dog, he turned 5 yesterday! I can't believe it's already been two years since he and N came to us. He has come so far in that time. His language has progressed leaps and bounds, even though he is still far from where he needs to be. As a matter of fact, his speech therapist just assessed him last week, and he is still ranking very very low compared to where he needs to be. On a scale of 1 to a 100 of where other 5-year-olds are verbally, he is at a 4. Yes, you read that right. But, that's ok. I know where he was, and I know where he will be. It's just a matter of time. Here he is on his new Hot Wheels bike:

The other morning, I sat on the couch, gazing through the steam of my coffee to the beautiful day outside. The sun glimmered through the trees and the freshly sprouted green leaves seemed to scream, "SPRING!" It made me thankful to have the t.v. gone, and the computer closed. My life has seemed so simple this week. And even though I miss reading people's blogs every day, I feel like a better mom.

Now I'm off to catch up on everyone's blogs...Monday is, afterall, blogging day!

What Hinders Me?

2010-04-11T11:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend at church, our pastor gave an excellent message on "living with hope in times of crisis." I'm not in crisis mode right now. To be honest, I sometimes wonder why things have been so smooth for us...I keep waiting for that tragedy or major hiccup to occur. Pessimistic, I know. But I often feel guilty when I think about the incredible {funny} husband I have, the healthy children we have, the comfortable home and great yard we have, the quaint town we live in. I don't say that to brag, but to honestly question why we have been blessed this much.

We have often struggled with how to provide our kids with opportunities to help them be "well-rounded" (i.e., sports, music lessons, vacations, etc), while also ensuring they "suffer" enough to help them be empathetic, appreciative, contributing members of society. How do we justify giving our kids private tennis lessons for $120/month when that could feed and clothe four children in another country? How do we rationalize going to Chuck-E-Cheese and spending $30 when that could be food in a hungry child's belly?

I know there's a balance somewhere in there...giving our children opportunities and experiences while also showing them compassion for others. But the balance is what's hard to find.

Back to our pastor's sermon. He had a guest preach with him--a man who is on staff at our church who has been to more than 60 countries helping people. He was arrested while smuggling Bibles into China. He has put himself in harm's way on more than one occasion in attempts to spread the Good News. His words truly touched me. And near the end of the sermon, the pastor read a verse. Hebrews 12:1--"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses {in reference to Hebrews 11, which describes so many who lived out their faith in amazing ways}, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

I don't know how many times I have read that verse. Dozens and dozens at least. But for some reason, it had a whole new meaning this time. Let us throw off everything that hinders.

What hinders me? Oh, so many things...

The computer

The television

My own self-doubt

My yearning to be the "perfect wife" or "perfect parent" {and my failure therein}

Household duties

And so, so much more...

But what really stuck out for me, what I really felt like the Lord was whispering to me as I sat in my seat was this:

"Shanti, get rid of your television. Stop wasting your time on the computer. Engage with your children and seek what it is I long for you to do."

So, that's what I'm going to do. Kind of. I am canceling our cable. And we don't have one of those "government-issued" antennas, so for now, we won't have any t.v. And I'm only using the Internet when our kids are sleeping. I do plan on making exceptions, since I use the Internet as my phone book, map, and encyclopedia for homeschooling. But Facebook...you must wait. People.com...you must wait. And blogging...you must wait...until Mondays. Mondays are my new blogging days. I'll keep a running tab of thoughts that pop in my head throughout the week, and Monday will be my day to write them all down online.

I'm giving this a try for a month. I'm doing my best to "throw off everything that hinders" in an attempt to allow the Lord to speak to me. Maybe I won't hear anything. Maybe I'll be completely frustrated and feel cut off from the world. But I have to give it a try. I need to know that I truly am here and available for the Lord to work through me. If I use up all my down time zoning in front of the television or surfing the 'net, I will never hear the Lord speaking to me.

So, friends, I hope you understand. I hope you don't feel as though I am abandoning my post.

But I do pose this question to you: What hinders you? And can you let go of it?

Tomorrow we're one step closer...

2010-04-06T11:55:00.001-07:00

...to being the official mommy and daddy to this adorable girl.

Tomorrow morning at 10 a.m., we will sign final papers for Miss G. Final. Final. Fi-nal. Gosh, I like the sound of that!

I can't even begin to say what it feels like.

Our First Year of Marriage...Bliss? I Think Not.

2010-04-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

I realized as I started writing this post, that I already pretty much covered what I wanted to say in THIS post.

I was a different person back then. I know it's cliche, but it's true. It's amazing how much a person can change over time.

It's pretty embarrassing, really, to think about how I used to be. We all have our skeletons, of course, but if ya'll would have seen me, really truly seen me, the way I acted when we were first married, I would probably be too ashamed to face you.

Thank goodness for changed hearts.

I'm glad we didn't do a reality t.v. show when we were newlyweds. I would probably be living my days in some hole, withdrawn from society, humbled beyond words. Hmmm...maybe that isn't such a bad thing.

In other news, Easter week flew by, and was filled with fun family time and a lot of Wii (we just got Super Mario Brothers...man, that game is fun!).

I'll be posting pics soon!

Death Certificate

2010-03-31T14:29:00.000-07:00

My dad died on June 20, 2000. In March of that same year, we had the break-in incident. It was an emotional few months, to say the least.

When he passed away, I was crushed. I felt partially responsible since I had been the one to put him on a plane a few months before, sending him to live with his sister near Los Angeles. The story of my dad is too long to write in a short blog post, but suffice it to say he was a mentally unstable schizophrenic. He and my mom divorced when I was a sophomore in high school, and as sad as it sounds, I rejoiced when we were freed from him.

But after high school, I started to realize that his abuse was more related to his mental instability than his desire to make our lives a living hell. And I started to feel compassion for him.

Shortly before I put him on that plane, he was picked up by County Mental Health for knocking on people's doors and saying he was Jesus. When he was discharged (after finally getting an official Schizophrenia diagnosis), I was newly married and emotionally immature. There was no way he could live with us. I was having enough issues adjusting to life as a married woman (which is another post soon to come). So, I sent him down to stay with his sister until further notice.

After a few months at his sister's, he left a note saying it was his "time to go," and he disappeared.

I would lay awake at night wondering where he was. Did he have food? Did he have shelter? What about a toothbrush (I must admit I inherited his propensity toward clean teeth)? Did he have his glasses? My heart hurt with thoughts of him wandering around Los Angeles, homeless.

And then, months later, the call. My dear aunt (who had taken in my father despite the incredible inconvenience) called to tell me my dad had died. He was waiting at a bus stop, with a black trash bag full of all his earthly belongings, and collapsed. We soon discovered he had a brain aneurysm that took his life quickly and painlessly.

After the initial shock and despair, I was actually relieved. Not for myself, but for him. He hated being on this earth. He hated pretty much everything about it. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, knowing he was no longer suffering.

I recently sent off for a copy of his death certificate. A few days ago, it came in the mail.

It felt bizarre to read.

Age: 58

Date of death: 06/20/2000

Time of death: 1125

Immediate cause: Probable ruptured cerebral artery aneurysm

Time interval between onset and death: Rapid

I don't know why, but it stirred up a lot of feelings. Fifty-eight. So young. My mom is almost 65...my in-laws are both 59. I can't imagine losing any of them so suddenly. Yet, it happens all the time. It made me remember that our lives are so fragile. My kids, my friends, my family...we are all here temporarily. We can be gone in an instant.

But, I am also comforted by the fact that this isn't it. There is hope in knowing there is so much more to come.

Easter Fun

2010-03-28T19:07:00.000-07:00

So far Easter break has been splendid. The weather was pretty much picture perfect this weekend...unfortunately, we're in for a week full of rain, but that's all right.

We made some egg-shaped, chocolate-covered Rice Krispy Treats...

And this afternoon, we had an egg hunt. Each kid has his/her own egg color, so it makes it fair. No arguing over who has more eggs! And no fighting over who "saw it first."

We've trained our chickens well...they lay eggs filled with candy!

Looking forward to pulling out the Resurrection Eggs this week!

Such an extraordinary day coming up next Sunday. Can't wait to experience it with the kids. And looking forward to reading about all of your Easter traditions!

Faithfulness in the Storm

2010-03-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

During cabin time at the women's retreat this weekend, we were asked to share a story of God's faithfulness. I shared the story below, since that day just happened to be the 9-year anniversary of what happened. I hadn't planned on printing it here since many of you already know about it, but a friend, a blog reader of mine, requested that I put it here since it truly is an incredible story of God's faithfulness:

Ever since I was little, the song "How Great Thou Art" has played in my head. It was like a CD set on "repeat." It was just one of those songs that always popped into my mind...waiting for the school bus, falling asleep at night, sitting on the toilet...

It was about nine o'clock on a cool March night. I was home with my black lab, Reagan, and Superman was gone working at Safeway. He would not be home until one o'clock a.m. I took out my contact lenses and put on my glasses (I was nearly blind without them), and gave my eyes a good rub. Ah. There's nothing like rubbing your eyes after wearing contacts all day. Yawning, I lifted the covers, snuggled into bed and took the Bible off my nightstand. By the time I was done reading, the sheets had warmed up and I let the soft coziness envelop me as I slid down into the covers. Reagan settled down on the floor next to me. I patted her head, told her she was a good girl, closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Not more than an hour later, Reagan started growling. Great, I thought. What now? I rolled over onto my back and looked toward the hallway where the kitchen light that I'd left on shone behind the figure of a man. Oh, Superman is home already, I thought. Reagan barked. Suddenly, I had a bad feeling. Reagan never barked at Superman. I reached over to get my glasses, but before I could reach them, the stranger grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the bed. I think I let out a yelp, but if I did, it wasn't much.

The man, who I still couldn't see clearly, started to drag me by my feet down the hallway toward the kitchen. My shirt rode up my back as I slid across the carpet. I kicked and yelled, while poor Reagan was so confused, all she could do was run around in circles and bark. I could see that the man had on a black mask, black gloves, a long-sleeved black shirt, black jeans and black boots. His eyes peered through his mask. What color were they? I squinted, but I just couldn't tell. He was so strong. My ankles stung from trying to twist them out of his grip.

We reached the kitchen. Without hesitation, the intruder straddled me on the floor and with his left hand grabbed a butcher knife from our knife holder. I immediately stopped making noise and trying to get away. Oh, Lord, I thought. He's going to kill me. I thought about Superman coming home to find me dead on the kitchen floor. My lower back was pushed into the linoleum, and I felt a pinch of pain from the awkward position. I frantically tried to think of anything I could do. Then I felt the first slice. It was on my left arm. I could hear the fabric of my shirt tearing. My mouth was so dry, my lips felt glued together. I was crying uncontrollably. Another cut. This time on my stomach. Then my leg. But wait. He wasn't cutting very deep. He's not going to kill me, I thought. Oh, God, he's going to rape me. I tried to prepare myself mentally to be violated in one of the worst ways possible. What would I do? How would I react? How would my husband react?

All of a sudden, a song came into my mind. Oh, thank you, Lord, I said to myself. I belted out loud, "Oh Lord, my God...when I in awesome wonder..." It stopped. The cutting stopped. The man sat on top of me, stunned, and dropped the knife. He ran out the laundry room door. As soon as he was out of sight, I ran next door. Reagan ran behind me. My neighbor, Rick, answered the door. "Shanti! Are you all right? What happened? What happened?" I must have looked like a tornado hit me. I was so hysterical, I could hardly vocalize what had happened: "A-A-A man---he-he-came--{Superman} isn't h-h-home..." Rick, a correctional officer, brought me inside where his wife, Preet, ran to my aid. "That f---king bastard!" Rick yelled. He got his gun and went to our house to look for the intruder.

Preet called 911. She told the operator that an intruder had been in my house. The operator asked to speak to me. I didn't want to speak to anyone. I just wanted to be in Superman's arms, safe in his arms and away from the situation. But, I spoke to her anyway. "Are you OK, ma'am? Did the intruder hurt you?"she asked. Did he hurt me? Well, my physical wounds were superficial. But emotionally, I didn't feel too swell. "No, I'm okay," I replied. "Ma'am, the police are on their way. You'll hear a helicopter in a few minutes. Do you need an ambulance?" "No," I replied. Wow. A helicopter. We lived in a new neighborhood, where there really wasn't much of anything except corn fields and a few new subdivisions. I figured the helicopter was coming to search the fields. I just wanted Superman. I hung up on the 911 operator and asked Preet to call him at work. I was still too shaken up to talk to him.

Within ten minutes, the police showed up. I still couldn't see. I asked if somebody could please get my glasses for me. I didn't want to go back into my house. The police started asking me questions: What did he look like? I didn't know. As I said, I'm practically blind without my glasses. I asked again if somebody could please get them for me. "They're on my nightstand," I said. "Is there anyone you know who might do this to you?" they asked, "Did he have a distinct smell? Did he say anything? Were there any tattoos that you could see? How do you think he got in?" Too many questions, I thought. Can't I just have a few minutes to gather myself? And why wouldn't anyone get my glasses?

Superman arrived. I felt so relieved. I had felt so alone, even though I was surrounded by a dozen people. He held me in his arms, just what I needed. Someone brought me my glasses.

"Ma'am? We're going to have to take some pictures now," one of the officers said. I felt like I was in a movie. There I was, my favorite pair of flannel pajama bottoms sliced up, my new shirt from a race I'd run in the week before destroyed, and my face stained with tears. The last thing I wanted was to have my picture taken. But I stood there, and stared blankly at the camera each time it flashed.

I felt like an idiot. I couldn't answer any of their questions. The only thing I knew was that the intruder was around six feet tall and had a muscular build. I had locked the front door, but had left the door from the garage into the laundry room unlocked. Stupid. He must have picked the lock into the garage and then just walked right in. Everyone felt so safe in our neighborhood. I shouldn't have been so naive. I should have found a way to hit him in the groin. There were a lot of "I should haves" running through my mind.

The police said they needed my clothes and were going to take the knife to check for fingerprints. One of them gave us his card and said to call him if I thought of anything. They left, and Superman and I headed back to our house. There was black fingerprint dust all around from the police checking for fingerprints.

Since Superman was home, I felt much better. But my house felt different. It didn't feel like the safe, comfortable home that I had always thought it was. It felt cold. I wondered why this had happened. I believe everything happens for a reason, so I was curious. What was the purpose of this? Maybe by my singing a traditional Christian hymn, the intruder would turn his life around. Not likely, but possible. Maybe he just thought I was nuts, so he took off. Maybe I just needed a kick in the pants. Maybe since Superman worked at a job where he was unhappy and just couldn't leave, he needed a valid reason to go. (And he did.) There are many reasons why this could have happened, and why I got out of it completely safe and relatively unharmed. All I know for sure is that the Lord proved His faithfulness that day. That song, that wonderful song, that had played in my mind over and over, had been there for a reason. After that day, the song disappeared. Don't get me wrong--I still love that hymn. As a matter of fact, I start crying every time I hear it. But, apparently, there's no longer a purpose for it.

I am so thankful to the Lord for protecting me that night. He was with me. He will never forsake me. And He IS with me 'till the end of the days!

Retreat

2010-03-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

I looked up the definition of "retreat" online. One of Webster's definitions says: "A period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study, or instruction under a director."

Withdrawal.

That's just what it was. I withdrew from my life for a few days. It was peaceful, relaxing, and more than a little refreshing.

I always underestimate the power of a break from the norm. I do look forward to respite when it approaches, but I seem to always forget just how much I need those pauses in my bustling life.

I laid on a wooden dock in the warm sun over a lake. No children came to ask me questions, or tattle, or request food from my 24-hour restaurant. I didn't have to worry about breakfast, lunch or dinner (or snacks). Someone else worried about it for me.

I ate ice cream mixed with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. And it was divine.

I sat outside during a mandatory time of silence throughout the camp and wrote a letter to the Lord. Not one of the 300 women present spoke. Each person was nestled in her own little spot of tranquility while she paused to just sit. How often do we do that? I don't think I can remember the last time I sat. Quietly.

I admired God's beauty, and marveled at the quaint little place I was in.

I enjoyed all my meals with grown ups (and a sister-in-law I have never before had the privilege of spending an extended period of time with), without having to continually get up to serve other people.

And, most importantly, I learned a few things:

1. I want to learn a new skill each year.
2. I am going to attempt to find gratitude in even the most unappealing circumstances.
3. I'm not invincible. I need breaks!

The speaker was incredible. Real, vulnerable, insightful and funny. My cheeks hurt from laughing at the end of each session.

Ah, retreat.

It's back to real life today, but that's ok. I love my job. I'm thankful for the 24-hour restaurant I operate and for my roles as a mediator, dental hygienist, teacher and maid. It's where I'm at right now, and I'm going to enjoy it.

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, It's Off to Retreat I Go!

2010-03-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

I'm off in 2 hours for a women's retreat up in the foothills! Can't wait, can't wait. Two whole days with no kids! I do love my kids, but boy, is it gonna be nice to have a break! See ya on the flip side!

Adventures in Leprechaun Land...

2010-03-17T12:14:00.000-07:00

Last night we left the Leprechaun some green milk in hopes that he wouldn't cause too much mischief around our house. It seems to have worked. Well, except for the fact that the Leprechaun went Number One in our toilet and didn't flush!

We made some green pancakes this morning to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

After school, we discovered a note from the Leprechaun! Seems he felt badly for forgetting to flush his goods down the toilet...

Quick! We've gotta find the treasure!

We found the four-leaf clover!

And buried under the clover was...Chuck-E-Cheese tokens and tickets! I think the Leprechaun may have stolen those off my bookshelf since the ones I had are now missing...but don't tell the kids.

Checking out all their loot...

Full Confession...The Crushing of Childhood Fantasies

2010-03-16T10:23:00.001-07:00

Some of you may remember when I told Mr. C that the "Advent Angel" was just a fabricated person.

The other day he asked me if Santa is real. So far, I've been able to dodge the question saying things like, "If you believe in him, than he's real to you" and, "St. Nicholas was a real person...". But I felt it was time. And Superman and I decided that if we were going to let him know about Santa, we may as well dash his dreams of the Easter Bunny, Leprechauns, and the Treasure Troll,* too.

*The Treasure Troll is another fictional character I created years back. When we go on trail walks or hikes, this "Treasure Troll" puts an "X" somewhere along our route. If we find the "X," he will leave something back at the car for the kids. Sometimes it's some little 5-cent trinket...other times it's root beer. He doesn't always show up...just when he has time. It's a fun little tradition that makes our family hikes even more exciting.

Anyhoo, after a long conversation about how mommy and daddy are Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Treasure Troll, and the Leprechaun (who always leaves green dust behind as evidence of his visit on St. Patrick's Day), I think I actually let out a sigh of relief. It felt good to come clean with him. We told him not to spoil the fun for the other kids. So far, he's kept good on his word about the Advent Angel. I think it's our new policy that when our kids start asking if someone is real, we'll just lay it out plain and simple for them.

I'm a little sad that Mr. C's time of enjoying all these fictional people has come to a close. but I guess I still have four other kids I can have fun with. And, Mr. C is now my official helper for make-believe adventures.

I'm Gonna Be A Hot Mama!

2010-03-15T11:07:00.000-07:00

Well, not me. I guess you could say I'm a hot mama (thank you very much!), but this post isn't about me.

The other day during our devotions, we asked the kids what they would like to be when they grow up.

Mr. C: A policeman or a math teacher (ah, the pitter-patter of a daddy's heart when a son wants to follow in his footsteps. The math teacher part, not the policeman part.)

J-Man: A guitar player at church (can you hear my heart screaming with joy at the thought of that?? Boy, I would be one proud mama...)

M-Dog: A fireman. Luckily, he hasn't started any obsessions with fire just yet...

N: A hot mama! (well, well, well...I told her it shouldn't be hard for her to achieve since she's already beautiful, and I think she'd make a wonderful mama!)

I haven't forgotten about my little blog...

2010-03-11T06:18:00.001-08:00

We've had a stomach bug going around our house. Four of us have been hit. It seemed to be a 24-hour thing, but poor M-Dog is on day 3 of it, and can't keep anything down. I'll be back when everyone's better!

Improvements

2010-03-08T12:28:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been about six weeks of homeschooling.

The kids are thriving, and so am I.

Mr. C is flying through the curriculum and doing great.

J-Man is nothing short of amazing. These last few weeks have made a world of difference for him. When he was in school, he got in trouble nearly every day. It wasn't like he was doing awful things, but he was definitely one of the more immature kids in his class. I think his teacher was relieved to have him go. I was the most worried about how I would "handle" teaching J-Man...whether I would have the patience to deal with him all. day. long. But he has been wonderful. I think the fact that he isn't constantly getting into trouble has worked wonders for his self-esteem. My relationship with him is blossoming. I feel closer to him now than before...and I thought it would be the opposite.

When I see that he's ready for a break, I give him a break. Well, usually. Sometimes he has to finish his project or worksheet before he can go play. But not having to have him fit into a "mold" in school looks good on him. He is honestly trying to do his best. Yes, we still use the Chum Bucket, but its use has at least been cut in half.

I feel fully validated and encouraged by things going so smoothly. It still baffles me that I am homeschooling, though. ME, of all people! And loving it.

The Chum Bucket...and the Krusty Krab

2010-03-04T15:53:00.000-08:00

We love Spongebob. I know it's not the most innocent show, but it just cracks me up. So it was especially fitting when my sister told me about a friend of hers who had a "Chum Bucket" in their house. As I mentioned in my previous post, the Chum Bucket is used regularly around here. It has probably been one of the best parenting techniques I've used. Any time there is a problem: arguing, breaking rules, arguing, disobeying, being disrespectful, arguing, etc., I don't have to stop and think of a consequence. The immediate response is, "Go to the Chum Bucket."

It's filled with things the kids don't like to do: cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the family room, cleaning everyone's bedrooms, wiping down the kitchen cupboards, cleaning baseboards...oh, wait. Did I say things they don't like to do? I think I might mean me...

On the flip side, we have a "Krusty Krab" with rewards for the kids. These are for when I notice a kid doing something nice for someone else...or just being extra good. The other day, Mr. C offered half his dessert to M-Dog since there was only a little bit left. So, he got the Krusty Krab. The only stipulation is that I need to believe they are not doing kind gestures merely for a reward. If they come tell me about something great they did, they get a pat on the back and a hug, but they won't be getting the Krusty Krab. It needs to be genuine.

The Krusty Krab is filled with things the kids like: stay up an extra 1/2 hour, get popcorn after dinner, pick dinner for Friday night, get a treat, etc.

I'm always in need of fresh new ideas for both the Chum Bucket and Krusty Krab. So throw 'em at me! Lemme know whatcha got!

"I'm Fasting"

2010-03-03T10:43:00.001-08:00

Another story about J-Man. It's not on purpose; he's just been providing me with some good material lately.

J-Man hates Cream of Rice. And oatmeal. I don't really blame him since I would rather eat tree bark than either of those. (By the way, none of the kids love Cream of Rice, but they tolerate it.) However, we have a rule in our house: What's served is what's eaten. These kids are spoiled, anyway. I lace their Cream of Rice with ribbons of sugar. It's not like they have to eat it plain. Well, unless they're not behaving. Then they get it au natural. And they only have to eat it like once or twice a week.

Anyhoo, this morning was a Cream of Rice day. I made freshly-ground rice with our grinder. They should appreciate that! None of that store-bought junk. Home spun!

J-Man had some complaints about my choice of breakfast. I told him I'd be sure to give him an extra helping. When the grub was ready for consumption, I called the kids in. They all came bounding in. Except for J-Man, that is. He sulked on the floor of the family room, trying to hide under the coffee table. I called him again. No movement. I called him a third time, and I saw a bit of writhing, like he was in agony over what he was about to ingest. But, he still didn't budge.

I told him he could go get the Chum Bucket (have I told you about the Chum Bucket? It's a "bucket" with consequences like "wipe down the bathroom," "clean the family room," "pick up 3 buckets of leaves," "pay mommy a dollar," etc. Anytime they are misbehaving, they go straight to the Chum Bucket--an excellent idea my sister shared with me).

Well, he got his Chum Bucket (which happened to be no t.v. for the day), and did his 1/2 hour room time (which they get each time they get a consequence). I figured he would be starving once he got out since this is the kid who out-eats both Superman and I at every meal. I told him he would be eating his Cream of Rice when he was hungry.

But, here we are, and it's almost 5 hours later. He just told me he's "fasting." The only reason he isn't eating is because he's "going to spend time praying and reading [his] Bible." It has nothing to do with the fact that Cream of Rice makes him want to vomit.* I told him that's wonderful and to let me know when he's ready to break his "fast." His Cream of Rice is patiently waiting on the counter.

*I'm sure I sound cruel here, but we always tell our kids that sometimes we have to eat things we don't like. What are they going to do when we take them out of the country on mission trips? We want them to be used to occasionally eating things that don't appeal to them so that when they're presented with something they find repulsive {to them}, they realize it's disrespectful to turn their noses up.

Gluten Free

2010-02-27T14:05:00.001-08:00

After nearly 10 years of problems, Superman has finally discovered his Kryptonite: Gluten.

I'm a little put off by the fact that it's taken this long to get a diagnosis. This past year has been really difficult for him (physically). He's been to the doctor numerous times, and kept getting brushed off. Finally, he went with a list. He brought every symptom, every complaint, and told the doctor he needed to have tests done. What kind of tests, he didn't know. But tests, yes.

So, she obliged, and had him take some blood tests. And, sure enough, his "Transglutaminase" results came back way higher than they should be. Like six times higher. Which translated: Celiac disease. The fact that Superman had been eating something that was like poison to his small intestine...destroying all the little villi that help with absorption of nutrients...helps explain why the poor man is six feet tall and weighs 135 pounds. He has not been absorbing many necessary nutrients for years! Maybe he'll be able to gain a bit of weight now...I know, not the problem most people have.

As disappointing as it was to get such a diagnosis, I know it was a huge relief for Superman. Finally, he knew what was wrong with him. And, it was something that could be self-treated. No medication needed. Just a huge change in lifestyle.

So, here we are...it's my new challenge to make yummy gluten-free foods. I've been finding some great blogs and recipes. We bought a loaf of gluten-free bread the other day at the store, and YUCK! It was chewy and grainy. Yesterday I baked a loaf (see pics above), and it was great! We couldn't even tell it was "different." Which gives me hope. Whole Foods is my best friend right now. I just wish they wouldn't take my arm and leg when I get to the cash register.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

The Rainbow of all Rainbows

2010-02-27T12:11:00.000-08:00

My photo doesn't do this beautiful artwork of God justice.

The other day, I was driving home from some errands by myself (ah, silence in the car...) and I spied a stunning rainbow. It was actually a double rainbow...so rare, and I think only the second one I've ever seen in my life. Maybe I'm just not normally out when there are rainbows dancing through the sky, but I was in awe.

Here I was, driving the car, with the song, "I Stand in Awe" {ironically} softly playing on the radio when I was almost stopped in my tracks by the wonder of the Lord.

It was magnificent. Such a vivid rainbow I have never seen.

I raced home so I could try to snag a few pictures of it, but it had already faded some. I snapped what I could, but like I said, this photo truly doesn't do it justice.

What a beautiful reminder of the Lord's presence in our lives! I wasn't hopeless or overwhelmed or even discouraged at the time, but I thought about the multitudes of people looking at the very same rainbow as me. And I was sure that the Lord was speaking to the hearts of many of them.

It was a stunning gesture by the Lord of the universe--almost as though He was extending His very arm to us, ready for any willing soul to take hold of it.